How To Make Interfaith Marriages Work (How To Make A Marriage Work With Different Religions)

Religion can be a sensitive subject for some. Especially if you and your spouse do not share the same belief system. While not sharing the same religion doesn't condemn a marriage to failure, sharing the same belief is a large part of successful marriages. Many marriages of mixed faith do wonderfully well, but it can sometimes be a hard road learning how to respect each others different belief systems.

Looking into it, many different religions teach that it is not wise to marry someone of a different faith or one who does not believe the same things you do. If you look at it, couples that have different faiths and are both strong in their religious values might just be inviting controversy into their home.

Living your religion can sometimes mean cultural differences. There are many traditions that ones religion might follow that the others does not. How will you raise your children? What traditions will you take from each others belief system and how might it affect your children? If these questions are answered well in advance, the tension later on will be quite different than if they are not.

If your philosophy in matters of religion does not allow you to respect the beliefs of your partner, then you will have problems. For a lot of people, religion is the cornerstone of their core values, and if you cannot respect each others ideas based on religion, then problems will arise most definitely.

Ultimately the choice to be in a mixed religion marriage comes down to how you can respect each others choices. If that is possible, most likely the relationship can flourish. Before entering in a marriage, it is best to discuss the important aspects of each of your religious beliefs. After all, while religion makes up an important part of many marriages, great communication and mutual respect make up a huge part of it too.

Conflict Resolution in Saving Your Marriage

The Importance of Good Conflict Resolution

No two persons are completely alike. Even though there are mutual interests, shared likes and dislikes and common tastes between couples, there will still be differences of opinion and variances in personal ways. These differences may lead to schisms and disagreements which may even result in confrontations, arguments and fights. Therefore in any successful relationship, conflict resolution is an essential trait. Good conflict resolution skills may very well save your marriage. But there is an enemy of good conflict resolution within each one of us.

The Enemy of Conflict Resolution

The enemy of conflict resolution is pride. Pride blocks the path towards admitting your own wrong, asking for forgiveness from your partner and taking the first step towards reconciliation. Pride in you will insist on your own way and refuse to compromise on what you want even though it hurts your marriage. Since you have to overcome pride, does that mean that you become completely subservient to your partner and obey his every whim and fancy?

I am not saying you should become like a puppet to your partner without a will of your own. There are certain things that cannot be compromised. For example, having an affair is not allowed and physical abuse cannot be tolerated. But in a marriage, these non-negotiable things are few. In most things a certain degree of compromise is possible and even crucial in saving your marriage. Thus, be humble, swallow your pride and be willing to make compromises and adjustments for the sake of saving your marriage. I would like to share some very essential tips for good conflict resolution.

Conflict Resolution Tips

Conflict resolution is a skill that takes time and practice to master. You constantly learn how to understand your partner better, what to do or say in a disagreement and what to avoid so as not to make things worse. Here are the tips:

1. Prevention is always better than cure. Preempt an argument wherever possible. Learn what rubs your partner the wrong way, what his or her pet peeves are and avoid these like the plague.

2. Integrity is a must in conflict resolution. Be completely honest. Admit wrongs without blame-shifting. Don't counter accuse by saying, "I admit I was wrong in ________ but you were wrong in ________ also". Leave out the 'but' part.

3. Here is one principle my wife and I have practiced ever since our courting days. Never go to bed with unresolved conflicts. Even if you have to stay up all night to talk things through, do it if it can restore peace between you both. Then you can both sleep in peace. I know it is not always possible but this is a good practice and you should work towards it as far as possible.

4. There are basically two reactions towards anything that displeases a person. Some people blow up. They may shout, scream, rant or rave and after they have done so, they cool down and return to normal. Others on the other hand, keep their anger or bitterness inside them by clamming up. They may display their displeasure in their faces or body language but they would not vocalize it or act on it there and then. They keep it all inside and resentment builds up. Both types of reactions are wrong. It is essential to help one another respond to displeasure in the correct way which is to talk things through rationally (no losing your temper, no clamming up)

5. Abuse and physical violence is not allowed. If things get too hot, take a break until you cool down.

6. Allow each other the opportunity to talk freely and listen genuinely without preconceived notions or becoming defensive. Do not anticipate what your partner would say and start thinking of a reply. Hear your partner out completely. Cultivate an environment where expressing feelings to one another is a positive experience.

7. If your partner hasn't understood your motives or misunderstood what you said, don't get angry. Explain what you truly mean.

8. Do not judge one another but instead try to understand each other. You must unconditionally love and accept each other no matter what each says to the other. Remember you are trying to resolve conflicts, not win arguments.

9. Be humble, ask for forgiveness and apologize when necessary. Do not try to act tough by wanting your partner to give in or apologize first. This is plain childishness.

10. If you cannot find a solution to your conflict, ask for help. Submit yourself to a mutual friend who can be an arbitrator between the two of you

One common trait in successfully married couples is not the absence of conflicts but knowing how to conduct themselves during conflicts. The way NOT to do it is to attack the personhood of the partner. Accusations, rudeness, vulgarity, name calling and personal attacks are the wrong means to have a fight between spouses. Words such as, "You are so stupid, why did I marry you in the first place?" are intensely damaging to the marriage relationship. Successfully married couples know the secret of arguing correctly.

Their secret is to stick to the facts (rather than opinions) and issues about the conflict. Speak about what actually happened, who did what, what was said by whom and when, how you felt when it happened and how your partner's words or actions affected you. Words such as, "I felt foolish when you said those things about me in front of your friends!" are much more acceptable because they do not attack the self-worth of your partner while at the same time they do bring up the issues of conflict.

Conclusion

Marriages turn sour when there are too many conflicts, arguments, quarrels and fights. That is why good conflict resolution skills are so very important. With good conflict resolution, you can keep arguments and fights to a minimum. This will enhance your marriage. Put into practice the ten tips above and you will certainly improve your marriage or even save it from disaster altogether.

Do you want to reawaken a committed and loving relationship in your marriage? There are proven steps that are amazingly powerful that will help you overcome conflicts and breathe life back into your marriage. This is a plan you do not want to pass by. Click here to see the proven steps on how to save your marriage.

Divorce does not have to be your only option. Even if it feels as though your relationship can't be saved because of the ongoing conflicts between you and your spouse, it can be. There are techniques that you can begin using today that will not only stop a divorce but will help also you build a stronger and more loving marriage. To learn more visit: Steps to Save Your Marriage