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How to Cope With Infertility

and Negative Mommy Bloggers

By Kathryn C. Published 6 years ago 3 min read
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I'm just going to be blunt right now. A vast majority of the successful women online are what we'll call "mommy bloggers". Some of them are cute and sweet and helpful, but the ones I dislike are they who just complain about their children. I admit those particular "mommies" are funny at times, but I feel like they get a little too much attention. They are moms themselves, and yet they make motherhood out to be the worst decision of their lives. What kind of message is that putting across to the world? Is motherhood a joke? Well, it's not funny to people who can't have kids. I know plenty of women who deal with the same awful little word I do: Infertility. All of the negative vibes about how hard it is to be a mom just makes us want to scream. Those women don't know what it's like to try for a baby week after week, month after month, only to give up buying the pregnancy tests, and put all your hopes and plans aside. They have no idea how much it hurts to sit behind big families at church or see a mom with her little ones at the grocery store. How dare they mock motherhood when it is something so many women can't have. As a society, we have learned to talk down motherhood and to ignore infertility and it all needs to stop.

Now obviously I am angry about these "mommy bloggers" but I'm not about to go on their social media sites and troll them. I don't really suggest anyone do that. Anger is like a forest fire that will only destroy you in the end. No, all we can do as the quiet few who suffer from infertility is cope. I've known for a long time I will probably never have my own kids, so I have had a lot of practice "coping." Here are a few of my methods:

  1. Be busy. In the fight to stay positive, the best thing you can do is get involved in a project. Writing is something that helps me. I also garden, teach classes at my church, and care for animals. My dad always used to say: "Be busy and happy." I think his advice was meant to be used for catching a man, but I keep the idea in my mind all the time. Sometimes you feel lazy and miserable without the ability to go forward, but if you can get active, and put on a brave smile, eventually the pain inside subsides and you can start to truly feel happy.
  2. Don't cut yourself off from your fertile friends. It hurts. It sucks. I know. However, being there for your pregnant bestie will really encourage positivity in your brain around baby-makers. If you avoid them, you might develop "dark-side" qualities. You know; Fear of being hurt might lead to anger, which leads to suffering. Yoda had it right, guys. I'm not saying it's "not okay" to be sad, just try to be happy for others, and in turn, you won't lose your friends and end up being left to die in a pool of lava.
  3. Talk to your doctor. The old adage is "It's not over until the fat lady sings" rings true today as it ever did. There are so many options for becoming a parent these days. Talk to your doctor, see if there is anything you haven't tried yet.
  4. Plan for adoption. My husband was adopted. His birth-mother was addicted to drugs and knew she couldn't care for him, so she picked out an adorable old couple to raise her son. He was brought up in a good, nurturing, home and considers his adoptive parents as his "actual parents." There are so many children out there who don't have good homes. I cringe every time I think of the kids that age out of the system. Talk to your spouse about the option and save your money.

I know it isn't easy. I know that it physically hurts to think you might not ever get to be a parent when there are people out there who constantly pop children out and complain. I know that you want to punch people in the face sometimes. Just try to remember that being angry about bad mommy bloggers only hurts you. I hope this article helped. Please donate to read more about the things no one wants to talk about! Visit my website to chat with me, participate in forum discussions, and more!

Until next time!

My website: https://kathryncardon.wixsite.com/mysite

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About the Creator

Kathryn C.

Blossoming Sex Educator, Relationship Coach, and Family Advocate. I believe in healthy relationships and happy sex-lives.

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