How to Be Happy in a Marriage, According to Relationship Expert

Most people dream about their weddings, forgetting about their future married life. Unfortunately, marriage isn't always glamorous, and it’s not for the faint-hearted. If you've been married for years or are thinking of tying the knot to your soulmate from the best online dating sites, you should understand that happiness in a marriage is important.

However, since there is no perfect way to define happiness in a marriage, it is best to heed advice from relationship experts. Below are expert tips on how to be happy in a marriage:

Understand that Even Happy Couples Argue

Being happy in marriage all the time isn't guaranteed. According to Eric MacGregor, a Psychologist, every marriage experiences happy and sad moments, just like every other relationship. However, even when you fight, happy marriages resolve and listen to each other's opinion, recognize that their argument was off the rails, and apologize.

Dr Juliana, an expert family and couple therapist, says that some of the happy couples she has interacted with have withstood very hard times. Therefore, if you want to stay happy in a marriage, understand that going through rough patches is normal and such times shouldn't mean you are not happy in a marriage. Actually, this means you are normal.

Focus on Your Partner’s Strengths

It is not easy to overlook your partners' past annoyances, and you might be hating them because of such. However, to make yourself happy in a marriage, you should accept the strengths and flaws of your spouse and set realistic expectations. For instance, if you are good with interior design or arrangements, don't be angry if your home isn't appealing. Instead, make it your job to organize various rooms to your level. You can go ahead and teach your partner how to ace this as well.

If your strength is in cooking, take the lead when it comes to preparing meals. Using your strengths frequently results in greater well-being and happy marriage. Similarly, helping your spouse use their strengths leads to more satisfaction in your relationship.

Don't Expect Your Spouse to Complete You

While completing each other is among the many elements in the list of things that determine a happy marriage, you shouldn't take this literally. Saying your partner completes you is surely romantic but doesn't apply in the real world. Pawelski notes that relying on your partner to fulfill you can lead to over-dependence in your relationship, and you won't be growing as an individual.

Therefore, instead of completing each other, couples in a happy marriage should complement one another. As an individual, you should be mature, secure, and act as a whole by yourself while remaining open to your partner. Ensure that you nurture your interests and desires, go out with friends, and do your hobby instead of waiting for your partner to complete this void.

Do Things and Have Fun Together

As mentioned above, you shouldn't over-rely on your spouse. However, while you shouldn't depend on your spouse for a happy marriage, it is good to share common experiences. Adding new interests and activities is actually among the many ways on how to regain happiness in a marriage, according to Pawelski.

When a happy couple shares a new passion, unique activity, or learns a new skill together, such as playing a musical instrument or attending a cooking class, they grow together. According to Morris, a psychologist, happy couples should share life with each other. This could be their love for traveling, dedication to a common goal, or desire to build their family together, as these activities enrich their marriage.

Be Attracted to Your Spouse

Interestingly, you can decide if your partner is hot or not. Whether you believe it or not, Sunny McMillan, a radio host, certified radio coach, says that being attracted to your partner is a decision you can make during your relationship. Therefore, she recommends that happy couples should practice having "attraction thoughts".

To get these thoughts for a happy marriage, always focus on things or attributes that you like in your partner. This could be the way she parents your kids, her great legs, his masculine body, or how they treat you. Interestingly, your partner shouldn't be a cover model to feel this attraction. This is because happy marriages are built on a strong sense of connection. Physical attraction goes beyond looks.

Celebrate the Small, Good Moments

You might know the importance of being there when your partner is undergoing a rough time. However, your presence is as important during the good times as well. Actually, good things happen more often than bad for any happy marriage, and most couples miss these good opportunities to connect.

Therefore, the next time your partner shares some good news, be it a promotion at work or a compliment for a job well done, stop what you are doing and join them savor this good moment. Find out more about the good news by asking questions and actively celebrating. Doing this shows how happy and grateful you are for such moments.

Appreciate Your Spouse

Being appreciative is another tip on how to restore happiness in a marriage. You can easily take someone for granted after staying with them all the time. Therefore, according to MacGregor, make sure that you verbally express your appreciation to keep your marriage happy. Appreciation could be simple and there are always a lot of things to thank your partner for. If you don't make your partner feel valued, they will become resentful and might grow apart, which is a sign of not being happy in a marriage.

Accept and Change

You should be open to growth and adaptation to be happy in your marriage. Your needs in marriage keep changing as you grow, and your relationship evolves with time. Therefore, whatever made you happy before you got married or a few years after marriage may no longer be the source of your happy marriage. You should be flexible and ready to pivot each other for a happy relationship. Pawelski believes that any happy marriage is a product of mutual support when both partners work as a team.

Conclusion

The happy honeymoon feeling that comes after your wedding often has a shelf life. However, this doesn't mean that you can't bring back the excitement and happy moments into your marriage. While all marriages go through a rough patch, embrace the tips mentioned above to maintain a happy union.

That said, which other secrets of a happy marriage do you know? Please share them with us in the comments.

Authors Bio

Sherry Kimball is a writer and relationships consultant. She is inspired to support couples, teach them skills that lead to healthy, happy, and romantic partnerships. Sherry enjoys researching, discussing, and writing on the topics of relationships, weddings, and dating.

Her interests in her free time are cooking and sports.