How I Spot And Avoid Toxic People

I have learned the hard way that not everyone who comes into my life has good intentions. Some people are toxic, meaning they have a negative impact on my well-being, happiness, and success. They may lie, manipulate, criticize, gossip, or create drama. They may drain my energy, lower my self-esteem, or make me feel guilty or angry.

I used to tolerate toxic people because I didn't want to hurt their feelings or cause conflict. I thought I could help them change or improve their situation. I thought I had to be nice and supportive to everyone, even if they didn't deserve it.

But over time, I realized that toxic people don't care about me or my needs. They only care about themselves and their own agenda. They don't respect my boundaries or appreciate my efforts. They don't change for the better, but they expect me to change for them.

I decided to stop letting toxic people affect my life. I decided to take charge of my own happiness and well-being. I decided to spot and avoid toxic people as much as possible.

Here are some of the strategies that I use to do that:

• I attune myself to the emotions they evoke within me. Toxic individuals often engender negative sentiments towards either myself or others. They may instigate anxiety, depression, anger, or frustration. They might sow seeds of self-doubt or question the soundness of my decisions. They may guilt-trip me into action or convince me of my inadequacy. Consistent provocation of these emotions is a surefire indication of their toxicity, warranting my immediate withdrawal.

• I scrutinize their conduct for telltale signs of toxicity. Toxic individuals tend to exhibit harmful or unhealthy behavioral patterns. They may resort to lies, manipulation, blame-shifting, criticism, gossip, or the creation of discord. They might exhibit self-obsession, narcissism, jealousy, or the desire for control. They may prove dishonest, deceitful, or disloyal. Rendering compassion or empathy towards others may prove a challenge for them. They may frequently assume the role of the victim or seek unwarranted attention. These signs serve as an undeniable testament to their toxicity, motivating me to steer clear of their influence.

• I establish and steadfastly adhere to personal boundaries. Boundaries represent the limits I impose upon myself and others, delineating what I am willing to accept within a relationship. These boundaries safeguard my physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being. They facilitate clear and respectful communication of my needs and expectations. Toxic individuals invariably attempt to violate or transgress these boundaries, displaying a lack of respect or concern. They may resort to coercion, manipulation, or guilt-tripping to coerce me into unfavorable actions. They may exploit or abuse me in various ways. Any such attempts to breach my boundaries serve as irrefutable evidence of their toxicity, necessitating the unwavering enforcement of said boundaries.

• I abstain from engaging in their negativity or fueling their pessimism. Toxic individuals often yearn for company in their misery and theatricality. They seek my agreement, support, or validation for their unhealthy or detrimental actions. They crave my reaction, argumentation, or defense against their machinations. They yearn for attention, sympathy, or dominion over me. Succumbing to these desires only perpetuates their toxic behavior and inflicts harm upon myself. Instead, I choose to disregard, distance, or restrict my contact with them as much as possible, refusing to engage in their negativity.

• I surround myself with positive and supportive individuals. These individuals stand in stark contrast to the toxic souls I endeavor to avoid. They exert a positive influence upon my well-being, happiness, and triumphs. They embody honesty, respect, kindness, and compassion. They offer unwavering support, encouragement, inspiration, and challenge me to grow. They recognize and respect my boundaries, while appreciating my efforts. They demonstrate an equal regard for my needs and aspirations alongside their own. They ignite a sense of euphoria within me, both for myself and others. When someone consistently evokes these emotions, I am cognizant that they radiate positivity and unwavering support, making it imperative for me to retain their presence in my life.

Employing these tactics has granted me the ability to discern and evade detrimental individuals more adeptly. This transformative process has propelled my mental well-being, bolstered my self-worth, fortified my relationships, and elevated the overall caliber of my existence.

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Original story (created by me) published on Medium.com. Any changes and/or updates that have been added on Vocal.media are for content consumption purposes.

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