How are you communicating your feelings?

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We are a family that believes in learning every day and grabbing adventure when it presents itself. I am the Mama and I am have never fit the mould. Being part of the LGBTQ+ community, neurodiverse and aiming for anything but the typical nuclear family. My dream life is not the typical 9-5, which was not the life my partner expected to end up living as he has grown up with traditional values. We have similar goals for our life together and for our children.

Activities for helping children communicate their feelings

As a neurodiverse individual, it might be easier for me to understand the different ways it can be difficult to communicate emotions and understand why I feel them. I have set up various things in my child’s environment that may help you encourage healthy communication between you and them. These practices and development could improve their relationships with their future significant others, friends and themselves for the rest of their lives. According to the mental health foundation, there were 8.2 million cases of anxiety in the UK in 2013 and the number has risen every year since. That statistic doesn’t include the individuals that don’t seek assistant for it.

1. Express your own feelings

As a parent, we are our children’s first influence and example. The best way to encourage the behaviour is to demonstrate it to the best of your ability and they will copy you. Start a conversation with your little one about their day with “How was your day?”, “Did you enjoy what we did today?” or in the morning, start with “How are you feeling today?”, “Did you sleep well?”. When they share their answer, you should share your honest answer too even if it’s not positive and doing this every day will establish a good routine of sharing.

2. Name the feeling

When speaking about your feelings and theirs, make sure you name the feeling because it’ll be easier for them to develop their communication skills if they know the names.

“Sometimes when your friends go home, you will feel sad. That’s okay though. You will see them again another time.”

“Mama doesn’t like crowds. It makes me anxious. I get butterflies in my tummy and prefer when Daddy stays with me.”

They will relate back to these experiences and remember your body language on those occasions, helping them make connections with their own body language.

Read stories with characters expressing their feelings

Reading is always encouraged at all ages with your kids. Many short kids books address feelings like the Biff, Chip and Kipper books. They can be found in Waterstones. Its a fun way to tell them about emotions, communicating them and situations they might feel them in. Another suggestion would be the Mr Men books. The collection of these at The Works with each character demonstrating an emotion or characteristic. You might not think of every situation that would appear in books.

3. Feeling cards

My sprog can struggle to be vocal in some situations like sudden changes, new people or overexcitement. If you have a child that is prone to shyness, partially mute or is struggling with communicating vocally in any way then a physical signal like a card can give them a good start. Then they can build their confidence up to telling you vocally or just being more secure in giving you the card.

Emotion cards can be used alongside cards for the toilet, food or drink as well as positive reinforcement to create a non-verbal channel of communication between you and them. Additionally, picture cards are great for making a routine your little one can see visually.

Here’s an example of emotion cards below:

4. Write letters

Conversations with others have always been a struggle for me especially when it comes to explaining my emotions. When your child is older and can write simple sentences, get them to write down how they feel. Bullet journals, journals and diaries are a great way for them to express themselves even if they aren’t sharing them with you.

Helping them make sense of their emotions for themselves will help their confidence, self-awareness and mental health.

I use this even in my 20s in my relationship. When something happens that is overwhelming and I can’t tell my partner vocally, I will write a letter expressing what has happened from my point of view and how it made me feel. This avoids the anxiety over the possibility of a confrontation and the unpredictability of my reaction to the other person’s emotions. Being autistic, I struggle to physically express the emotion I am feeling. This method helps me make sense of the emotion myself as well as convey it to my partner.

5. Specify talking times

In our house, we have designated in the morning when we are getting ready and on the car ride home after nursery as the time to discuss our day and how different things went. It’s a daily, quiet, uneventful time of the day. This is not the case for every family but it works for us.

Having these set times gives your child the security of a safe period during their routine. They can predict a period where the conversation will occur and they can bring up their feelings.

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Disclaimer: I am not a child education, psychology or medical expert and have no qualifications in such relevant fields. These posts are based solely on my experience as a person, parent and neurodiverse individual. I am basing my articles on what has worked for my family. Every child is different, has different needs and ways of learning so these methods may or may not work for your child.