Heat

Water sprayed my face as the sprinkler came my way before rotating back. I wiped my face with my free hand and scooted towards the other end of the wooden bench, surprised that the thing could reach this far across the concrete driveway. Looking at it, I now see why more weeds are growing in between the cracks in the pavement than flowers in the newly raised flower beds leading to the front door. It wasn’t turned on before I got here, but the day grew warm and the sky was as blue as J.P.’s eyes on this perfect summer day.

It gives that the weather would be perfect on a day like today. There hasn’t been one decent day in the last month and now families are picnicking, kids riding their bikes, everything. Looks like fun.

I fumbled looking through my bag for my sunglasses case.

“Excuse me miss, but you can’t smoke here,” I heard nearby. I kept digging.

A shadow fell across my lap.

“Excuse me. Excuse me!”

I dropped my bag to the ground.

“Yes?”

It was the woman from reception. I had hoped that J.P. would get here before I had to talk to her again. She continued to stand over me while she spoke.

“You can’t smoke here, you’re too close to the door.”

She then pointed, seemingly still assuming I didn’t know that the front door was right behind me or that my father’s room was the third room on the right.

“Yeah, I’m almost done.”

“No, you need to put it out. You’re too close to the door.”

“Yeah, like I said, I’m almost done-I’ll move in just a sec. I’m just searching for something.”

“No. You’re done now because you’re too close to the-”

“-Yes I’m too close to the door I know!”

I swatted her hand away from pulling the cigarette from my mouth. I then heard the screech I had been waiting for. I threw everything in my bag and jumped up heading towards the end of the driveway, dropping my cigarette in a puddle.

“Where are you going?” Reception lady called. “I didn’t say you had to move.”

“I’m just trying to get away from the door!” I called, swinging back around to give her a final smirk.

“What are you doing?”, came J.P.’s voice from the inside of the car. “I was going to park.”

“Why?” I said while throwing my things in the backseat. “This is all of my stuff.”

The peeling leather seats stung my legs as I jumped in the front seat. As J.P. pulled away from the drive, I gave the reception lady a little wave from the smeared window. It was petty, I know, but with the picnicking families and her attitude making light of everything, I have the right to be that way today.

“I meant I was going to park so I could go in and see dad.”

“He fell back asleep, then he was going to have his dinner and then visiting hours would be over. We’ve all told you that if you’re not there before 4 p.m. that it’s not worth the trip.”

“Ok well, I know that, but I had to take your dog over to Macy’s today before we headed out. You didn’t mention that she didn’t get off work until 3 o’clock.”

The wind outside the window was harsh and began to roar as we entered the freeway. I flung my arm outside to hit the breeze, half joking with myself to see if I could make the car stop with the resistance or, perhaps, take flight.

“So how did you get the key from him?” J.P. asked, rolling up his window.

I looked out the window over the lanes of traffic and into the tree line that ran along the freeway.

“Nettie?”

“What J.P.?”

“Can you please respond please?”

“Yeah I mean I told him that unless the unexpected happens with his health, he doesn’t have a lot of time left and so he should do good where he can before it’s too late.”

“So you made a man afraid of death as he lay dying on his deathbed. Not your finest moment Nettie.”

The gravel spitted out from under the tires and clicked the sides of the car as we exited onto the old country road.

“It wasn’t my finest moment and I believe I shall live to regret it but knowing him, it was a necessity. Or should I say knowing myself I felt it a necessity to do so.”

“For someone who knows herself so well, you don’t seem to know how to do what you say is right.”

J.P. clicked his tongue rapidly in his mouth, a soft hum stifling a roar below. He didn’t want to be doing this anymore than I did. We both wanted to be at home. I would’ve rather him be with Renée and the kids.

“That’s really great for Macy that she didn’t have to come today. That she had an excuse.”

“Don’t even go there, Net. You know what this job means for her. Besides, what do you care if she’s there or not? You haven’t seen her or tried to contact her since mom gave up the house.”

“Forget about her. I don’t care if she’s there or not. Actually, I don’t want her there. I don’t want her or her dad there looking over mom’s things. It is enough that mom gave them the whole house when we were kids, I don’t need them to go through the garage shed too. You don’t think they’ve ever gone through it do you?”

They probably did, they probably broke the lock and took her things out. Her jewelry chest, the Longaberger baskets, everything. They can’t help themselves, they probably busted into it the moment we gone over the hill.

“I swear J.P.,if we get there and Uncle Tim is using one of her baskets as an ashtray, I’ll give him the wakeup call that mom should’ve given him fifteen years ago. I bet he is, he’s such an idiot. Remember when he mowed over her marigolds in the front yard? He’s such a jerk. She loved those flowers, everyone knew it was her thing to have marigolds in front of the house. Remember the summer you and I helped to paint the house white? She wanted the flowers to blaze so that they could even be seen from the top of the hill. Yeah he probably has all of her stuff out from the shed and has smoked so much the paint has turned yellow.”

“Nettie, just calm down, please. I want to get this over with as little drama as possible so please just, just stop. Besides you’re one to talk, you’ve smoked yourself out of two rental deposits with all the damage your smoking has caused.”

“Not anymore. I haven’t smoked in months.”

“You need to find a real place to stay and stop carrying everything around in your bag. You need to stop being hung up about the marigolds and mom, they’re both gone.”

The cicadas started to sing, matching the humming of the car as we approached the hill.

“Shall we jump it like mom used to?” I asked while scooting down in my seat in anticipation.

“What’s that, is that coming from the house?”

I saw it before I sat up, a huge plume of smoke was rising above the hill. It was growing into a thick black cloud in the blue sky, choking out the sun.

“I’m guessing that’s not a trash fire,” said J.P.

“Pull over! Pull over!” I could see the fire burning the east side of the house, the porch almost gone.

“Stop Nettie! Stop, don’t try to jump out, there's no shoulder here to stop!”

“Well what the hell are you going to do Jay? Drive mom’s old car into a fire?”

I jumped out and started running down the hill, tripping twice before I reached the house. Uncle Tim was standing in the front yard gazing at the fire, mouth agape.

“What the hell happened?” I screamed.

“I don’t know, I-I fell asleep after lunch and then I woke up to everything blazin’. I could’ve sworn I put my cigarette out but, uh.”

“Have you called the fire department?” I yelled, breathless.

“I mean I would but I couldn’t reach the phone with the flames in the kitchen.”

I shoved past him and ran over the large iron bell in the garden and rang it madly. J.P. came running into the yard and coaxed Uncle Tim across the street. I rang while looking at them. At the fence line lay the few surviving beds of marigolds. I rang the bell harder.

I’ll save it, mom. I’ll get the house back.

“Nettie! Nettie come on you’re too close, we have to get across the street.”

I pinwheeled my arm ringing the bell.

“Nettie, the neighbors say they have already called the fire in. Let’s go!”

I stumbled trying to keep up with J.P.’s long strides. Soon we were across the street with the neighbors. Uncle Tim was sitting in the grass, fanning himself.

“What. the hell. do you think you’re doing?” I growled as I approached him. The surprised look on his face was the end for me. I snatched the thin newspaper out of his hand and shoved him into the ditch.

“Nettie stop!” J.P. called from behind me.

“What? Taking the house wasn’t enough for you, you had to burn it down?,” I could feel heat building within me as I shouted.

“You’ve had everything handed to you and you couldn’t just keep it nice? Keep it safe? That was my mother’s! You’re worthless and your daughter who also can’t keep a job is worthless! What the hell is the matter with you?” I screamed, fighting tears.

I stumbled back as J.P. grabbed my arm, pulling me away. Turning towards the house, I saw the fire trucks roar into the gravel driveway. Soon, the work was done with the house standing half soaking, half smouldering.

“Come on, let’s head to the shed.” J.P. tugged me along.

The standing water pooling in the driveway leaked into my sandals as we weaved through the fire trucks leading to the house. I could barely look at the house and instead pushed through the gate and quickly ran along the worn foot trail leading to the garage shed.

The summer sun could match the heat of the house or the heat of J.P.’s words. According to him, I knew better. I knew that he couldn’t handle anything as well as the family hoped he could.

“J.P. I don’t want to hear that now,” I said while shoving the key from dad into the rusty lock. “I can’t believe you’re lecturing me after this.”

“You’re not the only one who’s hurting here Nettie! You’re not the only one who’s lost something.”

A shadow blocked out the keyhole. I turned to see a flat of marigold starters on the ground behind J.P. The blossoms fluttered in the breeze as I looked up to see Uncle Tim walking back towards the house.

I wondered at how everything around me and in me cooled in that long moment of quiet which followed the surprise.

“Macy said he’s been to the nursery, but she assumed it was for the new tomato garden he’s planting. No one would’ve expected he had gotten this,” J.P. said, staring at the blooms.

I took a deep breath and picked up the flat of marigolds sleeping soundly in their cushion of dirt. I imagined my someday home surrounded by these marigolds. I’m sure I could probably help out with a few tomato plants wherever Uncle Tim may need them.