Have You Ever Had to Do Tough Love with Your Mentally Ill Child?

Being a parent you would do anything in the world for your children. Even being a step-parent. But when things get tough in the house and affect your marriage. What do you do?

I do not want to say I am choosing a man over my child. But I agree with my husband on this and my son who maybe has some mental health issues. Those mental health issues do not get him the right to do absolutely nothing but go drink and party and come home and bring in nasty cigarette butts that my husband and I can not stand the smell of. I have told him, I have asked him. He just does what he wants when it comes to that smoking. I just don't know what to do. Am I wrong?

See two years ago my son had a schizophrenia episode if that is what you want to call it. He had not slept for days is what he had said. We all know you get paranoid when you do not sleep for days. He was just 18 and up partying with his friends and this is the result. He was technically diagnosed with drug-induced schizophrenia. For two years they have had him drugged up and he has not shown any sign of the mental illness he got diagnosed with. Does that mean the medication is working or he does not have it? Our crazy little town rather lies and says he is a danger to himself two years later and still has to stay on a medication that has made him throw up 7-8times a day. They did not care he was throwing up they rather get that money and send him to another doctor so they can keep making money off him.

My son is so mellow that there is no way he is a danger. Even he said he does not believe he has it. He has felt not one sign of it. He knows and I know he has anxiety but who wouldn't have issues after watching their best friend get stabbed in front of them and then died from his injuries when they were 15 years old. So I do get that he would have some problems as life went on since he had never fully dealt with that.

Can a person still have signs of schizophrenia if they have not had an episode in two years? Not one sign? Well either way my husband can not take him smelling like an ashtray and having to sit and smell it day in and day out. The sad thing is when he has money which is not often, he expects others to get him cigarettes and his sister gives her of all hers when she is a single parent who yes works hard but to just gives away money like that is hard on her too. I still financially support him and if I send him the money he still does not purchase them. He chooses to spend it on drugs and alcohol.

I think I have to agree with my husband and it is time for tough love. If he feels he is mentally ok. I do worry about that and hurting him with this. I have been the only one there for him through thick and thin, as a parent should but he is now 21. His laying around doing nothing has come to an end. I think all parents have to put their foot down sometimes. He does have his father, as much as he may not want to be there. But it is time he learns to be a man, me cuddling him is not helping him become that man.

Please parents remember there is a limit. They can not grow up until you push them to become grown. I love him and always will. He just needs this space to become the man he is meant to be not lay on my couch all day and do absolutely nothing, not even barely help in the house even. It is time.