Happy Mother’s Day

I love and miss my mother and grandmother so much. They were my very best friends. I lost my mother in 2005 at the age of 69 and my grandmother in 2013 at the age of 101. I was fortunate that I still had my grandmother for many years after my mother passed away. Honestly, I don’t know what I would have done if I didn’t have my grandmother to lean on after my mother’s death.

My mother was sick the last few years of her life. My father took wonderful care of my mother during the day while I was at work and my grandmother helped him when he needed to go somewhere or if he just needed a break. I took care of mother when I got home from work and on the weekends. Again, my grandmother helped me to care for my mother when I needed her help. My grandmother would sit at the kitchen table and entertain my mother so that I could get ready for bed and prepare for the next day of work. My mother was happy to sit and watch my grandmother play cards while they had a cup of tea and some cookies. She was always easy to please. My mother had dementia so she could not be left alone. However, my mother was so sweet and not even this terrible disease could change her sweet and loving personality.

My mother never asked for much during her life. She was a stay-at-home mother and she loved it. She took such great care of our family. Every day when we got home from school she had a delicious meal all ready and waiting. Her homemade soup was to die for!

She was never much of a shopper and she actually enjoyed staying home. She liked to read the paper, watch westerns and she never missed an episode of Jeopardy or Wheel of Fortune. Once a week, on Saturday night, my parents would go to Walmart and out to eat. Most of the time they went to Wendy’s, my mother’s favorite restaurant. She was happy with her simple life, she never asked for much.

When I was young, I was very attached to my mother. I was the youngest child so I was at home with my mother by myself for a few years. We were so close that I had a hard time going to school. I can still remember sitting on the swing in the yard with my mother, taking our afternoon naps and her trying to teach me my ABC’s. I must admit I wasn't the most cooperative student! I was so happy spending time with my mother that I couldn’t bear being away from her while at school. I have so many wonderful memories of my mother. The way she would braid my hair, we would go grocery shopping with her, my grandmother and sister once a week and we would visit my aunt (my mother’s sister) for weekly tea parties. It was these simple things that made her happy and I often find myself yearning to have those days back.

As I grew up, I remained close to my mother. We did many things together. One of our favorite things to do was to buy a few scratch-off lottery tickets every day and we would share any winnings. My mother never spent much money ever so we only bought a few tickets. It really was just something fun that we enjoyed doing together.

When she was in the early stages of dementia, I would often take her to the grocery store. She would chat with people in the store and many people didn't even realize she was sick. To this day, I am not even sure she remembered everyone she was talking to but she fought that disease so hard. In some instances, I truly believe she was pretending to know the person she was talking to even though she knew them for years but she did such a great job at masking her illness that it seemed like nothing was wrong with her at all. It really amazed me that she could do that considering how debilitating dementia can be. But my mother fought it off for years, I think she suspected something was wrong but she did not want to worry her family. Now when I look back, I can see the beginning signs but back then I was younger and I had no experience with the disease.

Every year for Christmas I bought my mother a matching purse and wallet because she never bought anything nice for herself. A funny story about this happened during a time when her dementia was starting to progress and she would say whatever was on her mind, which was out of character for her. One day when I was taking her somewhere she picked up the purse I bought her and she looked at me and said “I don’t know who got me this purse but it’s the ugliest thing I have ever seen!” Before dementia, my mother would have never said such a thing, she would have pretended to like the purse. Of course, she couldn’t help herself and I thought it was really funny. I still have that purse today.

My mother‘s illness got so bad she spent the last few weeks of her life in the hospital. I visited her every chance I got and we would sit together or walk up and down the hall of the hospital saying our prayers. I was with my mother on the last Sunday of her life. At that point, she could no longer speak so I sat beside her that afternoon and held her hand. I finally accepted on that Sunday afternoon that there was nothing more that could be done to help my mother get better.

I am so thankful she never forgot who I was and I always felt close to her. I always visit her grave and that gives me great comfort. I already have my cemetery plot purchased right beside hers because just like when I was young, I always and forever want to be right beside my mother, my best friend.

If anyone has read my other articles, you know I often write about my grandmother and knowing she was there for me is what got me through my mother’s death. My grandmother was fun-loving and very strong willed. We always did everything together right up until her death. I was very sad when she passed away but I could tell she was in pain. She struggled to walk and she had trouble breathing. That was no way to live, especially for somebody so active and full of life. I was so thankful she lived until the age of 101 and I did not want to see her suffer.

My mother and grandmother are buried in the same cemetery so I visit their graves often. My family makes fun of me because I spend so much time at the cemetery! That is where my two best friends are and it gives me such a feeling of peace to visit their graves.

I LOVE my mother and grandmother just as much today as when they were alive. I miss then desperately and I can’t wait until we can be together again. Happy Mother’s Day in Heaven to my two very best friends!❤️