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Get It Out

Sometimes I just have to release my thoughts. When I am overwhelmed, I just write to get it out. The first story in a series.

By OneMooreCrystalPublished 3 years ago 4 min read
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Get It Out
Photo by Joseph Keil on Unsplash

So I am sitting on my daughter's front porch steps. And after praying for guidance and for the Holy Spirit to fill me and help me, I thought I would just write and get it out.

I just bought lunch for my daughter, her husband, and myself. It was good takeout from Rice House about a block from here.

I am trying to decide what I need to do today. I have spent the last 3 days or so in my truck. Sitting behind the wheel of my truck. I feel like I need a shower. I can't seem to move sometimes. I spend hours in my truck just thinking or reading the bible. Lately, I have been listening to videos on youtube, bible verses, and sermons.

My fiancee and I split up yesterday morning after a day of packing everything into the truck and finding ourselves without shelter once again. This isn't new, but I …

[PHONE CALL]

That was my youngest daughter calling me back. I called her earlier today when I was sitting at Kum &Go just to see if she was okay and/or needed anything. Her psychiatrist’s office called me earlier too. I’m not sure if they called me before or after I called her. Anyway, so they want to make an appointment for her because they haven't seen her since she was discharged after her and her fiance’s accident. She says she doesn't want to go back. She is with her dad. I want her to make an appointment so they can see that she is okay. And I’m not okay right now. She said she will make an appointment for next week or later this week because she will be staying with her sister here in Springfield for a few days.

Cool.

The wind is getting colder and it makes me think I should probably get my shit together and figure out where I’m going to be tonight. I was in Wendy's parking lot last night and I slept ok with all the pillows and blankets in the cab of the truck; except for my knee locking up on me. I was at least able to put my feet up somewhat and so the swelling went down.

I don't really want to park at the same place because I don't want to draw too much attention to myself. I thought about the bridge on the other side of town or the bridge by my old apartment but I just don't know. I need to call The Kitchen Inc. And see if they have any housing vouchers maybe a motel room or something. I just don't want to be where they put all the homeless in Springfield because my truck is still very vulnerable to be stolen again. I haven’t gotten the ignition for it yet. Still starting it with a screwdriver.

I also would probably see “him” in that area and I’m not sure if I’m ready for that. I hope he is okay. I don't want to think about that situation right now because it gives me a lot of unrest. And his friend just texted me to see if I was still in town. I saw his friend earlier and kind of told him what was going on. I don't want to see his friend anymore today and I think if I tap on that message I will somehow get sucked back into it.

Whew.

Too much to think about!!

Call The Kitchen. Go from there. Maybe get a shower and change of clothes so I don't get a rash or infection and make everything worse.

My daughter had to leave to go grocery shopping. Back in my truck.

[PHONE CALL]

That was my dad. I have been wanting to talk to him. I was gonna call him the other day before everything blew up and we left my sister's house.

He and my stepmom have Squishy and they are bringing him home tonight so maybe I will get to see him.

I need to get a couple of tubs for my clothes and blankets because I’m probably going to be in my truck again and I don’t know if it’s gonna rain or not and my stuff is in plastic bags.

Call the kitchen.

Ok, called The Kitchen, they referred me back to One Door.

“Him” and I are on the registry for One Door. She said if it's just me looking for a shelter overnight I need to tell them that he isn’t with me so they can get me resources for females only.

Just the thought of going over there without him terrifies me. I don't even know if I will ever see him or talk to him again. And the thought of it just gives me so much anxiety. I don't know if I should talk to his friend or not because maybe he is with his friend and needs me or something...Maybe I should tap that message…

TO BE CONTINUED….

humanity
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About the Creator

OneMooreCrystal

I will start by saying I am a MESS! I'm embracing this mess because it is MY MESS. My story unfolds one day at a time and it could end today. I'm hoping for a happy ending, let's see if I get it.

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