Get along with the opposite sex, once there are these three kinds of "desire", it is not far from deviant!

The opposite sex get along, the sense of boundary in the heart is indispensable.

This sense of boundaries is not only the only cornerstone of a good marriage, but also the best guarantee for the relationship between opposite-sex friends.

What is the boundary? Psychologically, boundaries are the perception that one is a different person from another. Because of this difference, each person has a unique and separate identity.

Simply put, it is fortification.

Don't indulge your desire to "invite", "help" and "be gentle" even if you have a good relationship with someone of the opposite sex.

Because such indulgence, is the biggest disrespect for marriage and friendship.

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The desire to talk to them all the time

Human beings are emotional animals, and all emotional changes come from "growing love over time".

There has always been a controversial question on the Internet: "Is there any pure friendship between friends of the opposite sex?"

What is the answer and there's no need to go into it, but what we have to understand is, opposites attract, and if opposites are friends, right

Often get along with each other day and night, and do not learn to avoid resentment, the relationship between each other is likely to sour.

So, when you start wanting to talk to each other, there's bound to be something going on.

Xiao Hui met Xu Fei at a casual party. After chatting with him for several times, Xiao Hui felt like chatting with him

It was very relaxing and pleasant, so they began to talk to each other from time to time.

At the beginning is to talk to each other in the past experience, "with the same end of the world reduced people" the sense of home let them slowly exchanged hearts.

After the chat process, small Hui began to share her expectations for the future with Xu Fei, she told her imaginary life Xu Fei, of course, Xu Fei is also very positive response to her.

So, as they chatted, they began to find common ground in their future life. The inner distance also became closer and closer in the invisible.

Although externally, they both insist that they are just friends, but in their hearts, they both understand that the relationship between the two has long changed quality.

Talking is one of the easiest ways to get closer to each other.

Chatting with the same person, over time, will become a habit, if one day is no longer needed, the heart will feel lost something.

This feeling is like possessiveness in love, wanting to own each other's time, wanting to own each other's life, wanting to share each other's life.

From polite to cordial, from polite to familiar, no pair of heterosexual friends in a long talk, but also can keep their own boundaries, rely on self-control to open the distance between each other.

Therefore, never put the opposite sex friends as their reliance on the object of talk, used to, will inevitably go heart.

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Ask questions about their desire to care about them

Friends are very important in our life.

The maintenance of the relationship between friends, nature is the need to care about each other, but everything has a degree, over the degree, over the boundary of concern, it is easy to let this friendship is not pure.

The famous writer Rousseau once said: "The development of heterosexual friendship, like a hyperbola, infinitely close but never touched."

The same goes for caring. No matter how good the relationship is, don't pay too much attention to each other's privacy.

Minmin had a classmate in college. At that time, they were very close, but they missed each other by strange circumstances.

This year's student party, for a long time no contact of the two people back to wechat, began to maintain lukewarm contact.

At first, everything was normal, because the two families lived not far from each other. During the Spring Festival, Minmin got together with him to talk about her life.

From then on, whenever Minmin quarreled with her husband, she would talk to him and he would send comfort to her. Most of the time, she could answer in seconds.

Sometimes, he calls her by her former nickname and argues with her in wechat chats; When Minmin was ill, he would send his greetings and medicine to her. Min min sad, he will go to her timely care, enlighten her......

Two people walk closer and closer, later, Min Min's husband found something different, euphemistically remind Min Min to keep a distance, but Min Min always husband fuss, unreasonable, or no change to continue to communicate with him.

Min Min husband can not bear to put forward divorce.

There is a relationship between heterosexual friends called "more than friends, lovers not yet."

It is said that too much concern, beyond the level of friends, will make the original friendship began to become ambiguous.

No one will be good to a person for no reason, a can to you, care about you in every detail, must be something, if not for money, that is to love.

So, when you "specialize" a friend of the opposite sex, your relationship becomes ambiguous.

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Obediently refuse TA's desire

As the old saying goes, "Men and women do not marry each other."

It means that in the process of communication between men and women, we should always keep a proper distance and do not exceed the distance.

Opposite-sex friends get along with each other in their own way, if in the process of getting along, any behavior does not refuse, the relationship between two people is extremely easy to cross the line.

Don't always take careless as an excuse to cross the line, have a sense of proportion of the opposite sex friends have the ability to keep the appropriate distance.

I saw such a story on Weibo before. The hero and heroine of the story are colleagues in a company and get along well with each other.

A month ago, the female colleague divorced, this generous colleague always help her to do what he can.

Because male colleagues forthrightly and loyalty in the unit is well known, so, we did not take it seriously.

Every time a man works late, he will send his female colleagues home. Since then, people have looked at him and his female colleagues differently and heard some gossip. But he thought he was not afraid of evil, so he continued to treat his female colleagues.

But this time and again to send home, let the female colleagues have a sense of dependence on him, he also has a sense of not clear to her.

Finally, this thing is Lin Hai's wife know, she does not believe that they are just a simple relationship between colleagues, for this reason, their husband and wife cold war for more than a month.

Finally, under the pressure of his wife and the influence of gossip from his office, they broke off all communication and returned to their respective families.

Scholar Zhou Guoping once said: "All communication has a final limit that cannot be exceeded, which is not clear yet

It is certain that all troubles and conflicts arise from the unintentional attempt to breach this boundary."

It's natural for friends to help each other, but that doesn't mean everything has to get in the way.

Realize that you are just friends and you are not his family or his partner. There is no need to do everything for him.

This is a human society, but in the process of getting along with friends of the opposite sex, the word is light, the sense of proportion is stronger, the friendship will naturally be more solid, stable.

Everyone exists in the society, all have their own can not shirk the responsibility, marriage is one of them.

Many times, one "careless" step over the line with a friend of the opposite sex, one "careless" detail can hurt the partner, destroy the marriage or even the entire family.

How to get along with opposite-sex friends?

Although different people will have their own ways, but no matter what way, must grasp the boundaries of kindness.

Only when you know what you can do with your spouse and what you can do with your friends

To ensure the stability of his family, the purity of friendship.

May we all be able to achieve a not far not near, mutual appreciation, mutual support, common progress, only add incense does not add chaos to the simple friendship!

~end~

If you have any ideas, feel free to leave them in the comments section.

~This is Antoine, and I hope you find pleasure in each of my articles~