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Five important things I have learned from my mom, and then some

by Julianne Algueseva 4 months ago in parents
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A dedication story for my mother.

Five important things I have learned from my mom, and then some
Photo by guille pozzi on Unsplash

All my life my mother has always been my rock, and she always will be. My mom's life wasn't the easiest, but from all her hardships grew a beautiful soul. From an early age my mother showed signs of artistic genius. Even though her mother, father and siblings didn't realize it at first, and quite often was bullied by these same family members, mom later in life showed how determined she was through her gifts. In her late teen years she was accepted into the Parsons school of design in New York City. Mom could be herself there. She didn't have to face day-to-day ridicule from her parents or siblings.

When she came back to Texas she sold many more paintings. My mother didn't want to stay in New York forever. Especially after the physical attack that she survived but her friend did not but still she was required to receive several internal surgeries, eventually leading to an abortion. It hurt mom on several levels but what could she do? Even though she came back to Texas, my mom was still stronger than ever. Yes, she made lots of mistakes afterwards but she gained so much positive in-between. My mother loved and married many men, two of them she had one child from them both.

As my mom's stories go she married my sister's dad for protection but she could not put up with his racist mouth and cruelty. She divorced Pete when my sister was two and remarried a year later to another man named David Hollinsworth. He was a great cook, handyman, architect, gardener and so much more, but he had a very dark and secretive background. Unfortunately about a year later David would start physically abusing my sister with a ruler on the back of her thighs just because of stupid things. Such as leaving droplets of water on the bathroom sink or going barefoot in the house. Mom did not put up with this behavior, and divorced Mr. Hollinsworth immediately. When my sister was a little older our mom would let him see her once a week on Sundays. As time went on and mom sold exquisite paintings and contributed her time to many galleries along the way, eventually she met my father, Paul Algueseva III at the artist alliance.

My father was a sculptor whose profession mainly dealt with bronzes. At that event my mom and dad fell into a deep love for each other. They dated for a few years, and even though I was an ‘Oops’, I still was born from love. A lot of my mothers family didn't feel the same in the love department. They did not want her to keep me, my sister and my Nana especially. However, my abuela, my fathers mother, was just so ecstatic. As the story goes my grandmother was so happy that she told everyone from our family in Bandera county, all the way to our cousins in South America. Although one part of my family was thrilled, the other was not but no matter what my mom protected both her daughters. Yes, she had to raise two girls by herself as a single parent 9 months after my birth.

The reason for that is my dad left us, that, and he was a horrible violent individual. My mother, sister and myself lived in a beautiful house down on the inner west side of the city. My mothers has always been a strong person in more ways than one. She has taught both my older sister and I so many important life lessons. I know that my sister didn't like her rules but they kept us safe. Still towards this day I am grateful that our strong and beautiful mother taught us these lessons. Whether it was giving credit when credit was due. Or to never steal from others because when you steal you're stealing from yourself. Even just opening a door for someone, showing kindness so that the same positivity can be shared.

My mom has been through so much in her life. She's loved so many and has given her time, sweat and blood to those who needed it. I've learned so much from her and I am still learning. These are just five of the many important topics I have learned all my life from this woman. I am so blessed that the Gods above gave me to her. She is truly a gift upon this world.

Patience: My mother has always said (especially when i was at my worst), "yes, things are tough right now but they will get better. You just gotta have a little more patience and trust in God, sweetie." For that moment in my life I thought my mom was full of it but in fact she wasn't. I never really realized how bad life had treated her. When my mother told me what had happened throughout her lifetime I was speechless. I didn't know what to say. All the torment and abuse she went through, I thought I had it bad growing up. She really went through the ringer in her lifetime. Everyday I hold these quotes to my heart. My mother would reply in a gentle smile, "I know life is unfair right now, but things WILL get better; they always do." Growing up I could see that my mother had a tremendous amount of patience, in which she still does. I am so grateful she has taught that same patience to me.

Respect: My mother has taught me a lot of things, respect is one of the many. I grew up loving all people, no matter the race, gender, religion, etc. You could be from Jupiter, have striped blue and orange skin and worship a flying cosmic egg, I'm still going to respect and love you. I may not have the same beliefs or customs you have but I'm still going to hug and welcome you. If you respect me, I'm gonna respect you. That's how I was brought up. In my eyes that's how it should be everywhere. To disrespect someone, anyone or anything is just wrong. Whether it's the holidays, someone's house, church, even a job site. When you disrespect somebody, you're actually disrespecting yourself; same goes for the other person. We are all children of the Divine and therefore we're all family. Plus, I don't think the Almighty Above likes when we hurt each other in any way. A wise-man once told me, "actions speak louder than words, scars will heal but some foul words cannot be taken back." My mother told me the same thing growing up. Thanks to both of them, my heart and soul are always open.

Open-mindedness: My mom has raised me to be open-minded to any subject. No matter the persons race, religion, beliefs, sex, gender, choices, etc. As a child growing up I was born into a group of eccentric artists. Yes, we did have a few family members who were not very willing to consider new and different ideas or the opinions of others. I was really grateful I was born from the black sheep of the family. Many of my other relatives(not giving out names) did not approve of unusual new things, nor were they fond of hearing and considering new ideas. I don't like to say this but some of my family members on both sides were very ignorant to a lot of subjects. Being raised to be open-minded has taught me so many positive things and given me multiple good qualities.

Honesty: Another thing my mother has taught me is to be honest. Not just with others but with myself. Because if you're not going to be honest with yourself how are you going to be honest to others? It's better for the soul to be truthful, to come clean, no matter how hard it is to speak up. Dishonesty is never good, it will lead you down into a place where you really don't want to be. The only way out is to tell the truth. Lying can really weigh on you too, and it can spiral out of control. In my opinion, the only time someone should lie is when it's a life or death situation. Growing up my mom punished me if I did happen to lie, where at that time it was suitable. When I look back I say to myself, "Juli, i can't believe you did that?" Of course at those times of my life I thought it was unfair, but I'm happy my mother showed me that what I was doing was not good. Yes, my mother was a strict woman, and still today she can be. Most kids of any age won't say this about their parents but I am extremely grateful my mother taught me right from wrong. I wouldn't be the woman I am today.

Compassion: What can I say? I like to listen to the contributions of others. Taking a few seconds to open the door for someone. Using positive language and smiling. Whether spending a few hours catching up with family and friends, or sharing a hug with someone. Practicing these acts of compassion has made me who I am today. My mother taught me these things all my life. Some of these came naturally but to be honest, the smiling part my mother really had to drill me on. She would say, "Smile honey, smile! You never know what a smile can do. You might make someone's day." Having compassion for others( in my opinion) should be a day-to-day thing. Plus, it's a ripple effect and good karma to boot.

I am so blessed beyond measure and whether my sister sees this or not, she is blessed too. Our mom is a warrior and such a kind soul. One-of-a-kind individuals whose scars may not show on her skin but on her heart, and still she fights through these pains. I love her more than the stars and planets combined. Those who know her, know she gives so much to both her family and friends. Even though her kindness has been taken advantage of in the past, she still forgives those who have wronged her. Her strength and eternal love knows no bounds.

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About the author

Julianne Algueseva

Just your friendly neighborhood writer and craftswoman. Doing all what I can to spread kindness and creativity throughout this wide world.

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