This should not have made me feel embarrassed, but it was just the feeling that people in my family were only talking to me because my mom died. These people were only having me over to their house because my mom died, people were only asking me for dinner because my mom died. It was like if my mom had not died would I still exist to that side of the family? This is a family that I rarely ever saw. I had maybe seen them years ago at a graduation party for my cousin or maybe I saw them at a family reunion five years ago, but up until my mom died these people were not really an everyday occurrence in my life or even a weekly or monthly occurrence in my life, so it just felt kind of weird.
So my family wanted to take my sister and me to Walmart. They wanted to get us some Christmas presents. They asked if my sister and I would be up for it. We agreed and we went to Walmart with some of the aunts and cousins. We did not want my aunt Charla to be there because of some stuff that she had recently put us through with my mom's death so we asked that she not be involved and we only agreed to go and participate if she was not involved. My Aunt Debbie picks us up we go out to Walmart together and the embarrassment continues when my cousin Cheryl, wanted to buy Us bras for some reason I do not know why that was a Christmas present that she wanted to get us, but some of the other family wanted to buy his clothes so she decided to buy us bras.
I do not know why she thought that my mom would not have had that covered by the time that she died, because when she died my sister was twelve years old and I had just turned nineteen so we had that covered long before my mom passed away. Then after that, she tried to forcibly put it on us instead of letting us just go into the fitting room and doing it ourselves privately. It was out there in front of everybody so it was completely embarrassing as it would be for any young girl. I did not even like it when I was a kid. I got upset with my mom for washing our clothes and putting our bras out on the line outside to dry.
Now it does not bother me at all. I will put my underwear and bras outside to dry. do not really care, but when I was a kid that was so embarrassing. I would get upset that my mom had put my bra out on the line because it was embarrassing like everybody would see my bra and my underwear and then I am nineteen years old and I am getting upset and everything cuz I just lost the only parent I really ever felt like I had and now I just felt like this orphan that didn't have anybody and everybody now is going to see my cousin put a bra out to me, so embarrassing I am sure a lot of you women have felt my pain before.
The embarrassment did not last long because I was in a bad place with my mom, who was also my best friend dying. So all the upset feelings I was having overshadowed the embarrassment that I was feeling. I also had my sister there with me and we often traveled in a pack together so that we could avoid certain people and things. What else are sisters for?