Don't like to visit, don't like people to visit, why? The two old men spoke from their hearts

01, preface,

When it comes to older people, many people have the impression that they are chatty, talkative and hospitable. They like to be matchmakers. They often inquire about young men or women who are not yet married and try introducing them to others. Or the incarnation of birth woman, to a family to urge two children, two children family urge three children, female baby family urge male baby, male baby family urge female baby; Or become a chatterbox, talking about family gossip.

One of the most prominent features is that they also like to call on friends and let others visit their homes. Often, when someone gets up to leave after dinner, he or she stops him her and says, "It's early. Let's sit down." After the other party left the house, he had to add another sentence: "Come back often when you are free."

It sounds like they're all social people, but are they really that hospitable? No, older people may have been much warmer in the past. But be in this society now, do not want to come to be a guest, also do not like others to come to his home the old man of the door is more and more, however, quiet and quiet became their pursuit.

Why did they have this about-face? What causes this? Let's hear from two older people.

02. A 68-year-old brother said

A few years ago, I enjoyed going around and meeting new people because I thought that when I retired, I should reconnect with people and get around more. After all, when I was young, I was so busy making money that I left my friends in the cold. Now that I'm retired and have more time on my hands, I should take care of my friends again.

But last year I fell ill and had an operation. The doctor told me that I could not do heavy work for the rest of my life, which depressed me for some time. During the two-month stay at home, my friends came to my house repeatedly, bringing fruits and gifts to visit me. I know they all mean well and care about me, and I appreciate that. But their frequent visits have also caused me a lot of trouble and inconvenience.

Because the visiting friends were different friends, I had to explain my illness to them every time they came by. I was mentally and physically devastated by my illness, but now I can turn over the page and go home to rest.

But also in the care and inquiry of relatives and friends, repeatedly to uncover the scar, for me it is a repeated torture. I had to act like it wasn't that big a deal. I had to act like it wasn't that big a deal. I had to act like it wasn't that big a deal.

again and again, and repeatedly chewing on my pain, and repeatedly recalling my past wrong way of life, how uncomfortable and painful it was.

In fact, to visit my friends and I about the age, though they seemingly body hale and hearty, mentally alert, but as the doctor said, many old people because there is no regular physical examination, more or less have this or that kind of disease, just haven't show it, they also haven't found that for the time being. There's no telling when they'll have a seizure, or some sudden emergency. Some people are either not sick, the disease is a serious illness.

So that when I should stay in bed and recuperate, I was tired of dealing with guests repeatedly, and repeatedly chewing on my pain, and repeatedly recalling my past wrong way of life, how uncomfortable and painful it was.

In fact, to visit my friends and I about the age, though they seemingly body hale and hearty, mentally alert, but as the doctor said, many older people because there is no regular physical examination, almost have this or such disease, just haven't show it, they also haven't found that for the time being. There's no telling when they'll have a seizure, or some sudden emergency. Some people are either not sick, a disease is a serious illness.

So after this experience, I don't like to go to other people's homes, also don't want people to come to my house. Because our age, 60 years old, to be honest, are very prone to accidents, one thousand stroke, myocardial infarction, cerebral infarction, or chokes when you eat, eat fish bones card into, is very urgent and dangerous thing, one thousand didn't handle good, people can go at any time, then to blame myself, saying offensive point, who is really who met bad thing.

Now, my wife and I meet with relatives and friends, are about in the ninth floor to drink tea and food and chat, get together, the final cost AA system, open happy heart, generally eat and chat for more than two hours on the end, the time is just right, not only contact feelings, also won't cause other unnecessary trouble. Do not have to get up early and go to buy food, do a big table of food, and finally be disliked this cannot eat that not delicious, much more comfortable.

03. A 72-year-old woman said

In the past, when I lived in my hometown, everyone was very hospitable and honest. The door is open, and when you have time, you sit in the yard and make a pot of tea. When a guest comes in, we'll sit down together, have a cup of tea, and talk, no matter what tea it is, we won't mind each other.

Later, I moved to a big city with my son, and my family of six lived in a house of more than 70 square meters, which became crowded. A guest said to come, we began to clean, wash the fruit, put the tables and chairs in place. When people came, they didn't know the exact location, they had to register to enter the community, and they had to find which building, which floor, which apartment, so we all had to go downstairs to meet them.

When the guest arrives, prepare slippers to replace them, cut the fruit and serve it, make a good pot of longjing, with some delicious snacks, and open a good TV program.

Besides, still have to chatting all the day, it is really a hard work, the trouble is, if the guest stay time just caught a meal points, also need to advance a family dinner, so have to give them with their family members with the tableware of at ordinary times, I can not accept this, although high temperature disinfection after eating, but still feel GeYing, Unless the home specially prepared a few sets of guest bowls and chopsticks. You said you wanted to give him disposable utensils, but you didn't want people to think you disliked him.

And then running around the kitchen with a whole table full of food, embarrassed to think you didn't want them. Whole much waste, it is really difficult to maintain that degree. After eating, they must clean the dishes and sweep the floor.

Additionally, at our age, guests often bring their grandchildren, usually three or four or five years old. Children of this age are the most mischievous and cannot be controlled. Often come to the home, regardless of three seven and twenty-one, will give you the thing broken, also do not say, directly throw it aside to continue to build other, or take a paintbrush everywhere graffiti. Once, a child ate candy, didn't finish it, and then spit it on the floor, stepping all over the sticky ground.

Look at the fire, but I can not directly angry, on the surface but also pretend to be a friendly look, in the eyes of relatives and friends sorry, but also generous comfort him said "children are like this, it's ok, let him play." Pretend not to care, but in fact the heart is very distressed, also furious.

When you send someone away, you must wash the slippers, clean the sofa, clean the house, disinfect the dishes, repair the broken things, and the whole thing wears you out.

As Eileen Chang said "Because understand, so compassion."

I always do not like to go door-to-door, because afraid of troublesome others, others busy after their own too hard, we are an age, not easy. If people drop in for a short time and don't stay for dinner, I find that acceptable. If I must stay longer and eat at home, I really don't like it, to be honest.

04, endnotes

Generally speaking, many older people who have moved to big cities now do not like to visit other people's homes, nor do they like to be visited by others. The main reasons are as follows:

1) I don't like visiting people: I don't want to cause trouble to others, and I don't want to clean up myself. I like to go back and forth and get tired of myself. I like to stay home quietly and do what I like at my will.

2) don't like others to visit: old people feel helpless, do not want to entertain guests, do not want to come and come after cleaning, but also halfway with chat, active atmosphere, meet the meal also have to manage the meal. In case something happens to someone else, they will be responsible for it and finally hurt their relationship.

Some people say that the highest realm of retirement is to be yourself.

Little bit trouble, little bit disturb, little bit make noise, little bit must deal with the way of the world, little bit hindered at the face of courtesy reciprocate, lead oneself to feel comfortable life, simple, clear and quiet, good.

Therefore, I advise you not to visit your house often if you don't have something special to do because in your eyes, it may be hospitality, but in others' eyes, it is a burden and trouble. Smile on the surface, hidden, but complain and hate.

Some people may say that the world is fickle and human relations are indifferent. Indeed, the society has become very hurried and realistic, and human relations have become very sensitive. But sometimes, not disturbing, is also a kind of respect and understanding of others.

If good feelings with each other, from time to time move around is not a bad thing, but we'd better put time control in two hours, and some time to avoid getting stuck in, for example can at 9 o 'clock in the morning until 11 o 'clock, or 3 PM to 5 PM, if you must eat, would probably be outside the hotel to solve together, control the time and way, also is happy.

Do you think that's right?