Do We Get Sadder As We Age?

Listening to Cari complaining to Lora as they enjoy their latte at Coffee Heaven in their community.

“No matter what I do, my grandmother is never happy. What, happiness doesn’t like old people?” Cari complained.

Lora giggled, resting her latte on the table, then said after a memory touched her heart, “Damn, you hit the nail on the head. My mom is complaining about the same thing with her parents.”

“Ah,” Cari snorted, gulping down her latte too quickly.

Silence gave them a moment as they stepped back into their lives. They were geriatric nurses. They stared at each other with popped eyes, then Lora said, “We know this. We lived with it for our entire ten-year career on the job.”

Sighing deeply, Cari recalls, “What could cause them to be so sad every day?”

“Regrets, mistakes, unfulfilled life, hopes, dreams, disappointment, and all of what did or didn’t happen,” Lora recalls the many stories her patients shared with her about their lives. Many times, she went home with a sad heart.

“But this is everybody’s life,” Cari said. “How come we were unaware of this?” She asked, as memories of sad moments in her patients’ lives refreshed her memory, too.

“But many of them are wealthy!”

“I agree,” Cari said. “The people on my floor are multi-millionaires.”

“I guess sadness doesn’t care if you are rich or poor,” Lora said.

“So it’s age discrimination that sadness uses,” slipped from Cari’s subconscious.

“It’s life and how they live that contributes to so much sadness?” Lora wondered.

“But when we were younger, there wasn’t much space and time for sadness to stick around,” Cari recalls. “When we get sad, we find ways to make us happy.”

“You are right; we didn’t have the time then. We were busy building our lives and fixing everything that went wrong,” Lora’s life struggles refresh her memory.

“Sadness never lingered with us when we were young,” Cari reflects.

“So, aging gives them the time to go back and worry, so that’s why sadness stays?” Lora asked.

“Damn, you mean when I get old, sadness is going to stay with me?” Cari asked with popped eyes.

“No!” Lora quickly stated. “It’s how they live that will accommodate sadness.”

“My grandparents live in their past,” Cari recalled. So did most of the older adults they cared for.

“But we lived in the present while focusing on the future when we were young,” Lora remembered their life.

“So, as we age, we go back to the hell of our past?” Cari asked in fear.

“I am never getting old!” Lora swore.

Someone’s laughter behind them grabbed their attention. Their eyes followed the laughter to a very thin elderly female with long, snow-white hair sipping a latte.

She eased over to them, with an athletic body dressed to kill, and said, smiling, “Just live a good life, while forgiving everyone. Forgiveness will clean your heart and get rid of all your regrets. Then sadness will stay away.”

“So, the longer we live, the more we have to be sad about?” Cari’s shock was loud.

“It’s how you live, child,” she said, touching Cari’s chin. “Just try to avoid regrets.”

They watched as she walked away.

Damn, this hurts. As a caregiver for many years, I have witnessed sadness take away the hope and happiness of older people I cared for. Yes, they live in sadness daily, because many live in their past with all their disappointment and regrets. Some with good reasons. Aging limitations do send many of us back into the past where regrets are the landlords.

I had a hard life growing up, but sadness was never one of my companions. When it came, it didn’t stay. Now, as I age, it sticks like it has a 99% share in Crazy Glue. Do they still make crazy glue?

Does sadness really favor older people?

Thank you for reading this piece. I hope you enjoyed it.