Dementia's Child

Daddy was always healthy. I don't remember him going to the doctor much when I was younger but as he aged of course there were issues that needed to be addressed. He never had any very serious problems a couple of scares that turned out to be nothing, until 1998 when he had an accident. After that it seemed to be one thing after another and Daddy always seemed so sad.

Daddy dealt with depression that I didn't know about until several years later; it was so severe at one point he had thoughts of harming others and anger issues. The accident was the problem, it forced him to be medically separated from his job, the forced part was just too much to deal with at times. Then the company Daddy worked for didn't want to treat the situation fairly which required him to obtain a lawyer and the case just dragged out for months; this too made things worse. He finally seemed to accept his situation after he received his settlement and the doctors stopped changing his medication.

I know at times he felt useless but he wasn't; Daddy was more helpful than he could have ever known. If he wasn't making trips to my brother's home in NC to help with his kids, he was helping someone else. Daddy was able to sit with my grandmother and help her before she passed away. He also lived with me while I was on bedrest during my pregnancy. A hero is what Daddy is because he's come to the aid and rescued many of us.

Now that he's aged a bit, things have changed but he was still trying to stay active. Daddy was even helping us clean out our yard before we found out, two years ago, that he has Lewy Body Dementia. LBD has many facets, one is Parkinson’s which he now has and struggles with; it causes swallowing difficulties, gait issues, and tremors. Daddy sees several doctors now and they are all great and try to work together but without his neurologist we would be lost. The neurologist has given him medication to help slow the progression of symptoms and so far, it is working very well. We believe that without this medication, Daddy would be far more progressed by now and would possibly be bed ridden. He can still make small meals, bathe and dress himself; these are blessings in our eyes. Daddy does have trouble with recall and having a conversation, he also forgets how to use the TV remote and the phone but we will take what we can get.

I’m now one of his caregivers. I feel blessed to be able to return the favour. Daddy cared for me all those years ago it’s the least I can do to come and sit with him when I’m needed, take him to appointments and make sure he has things he needs. I plan to be here until my Mother doesn’t need me any longer. I feel that it is my responsibility to help them as much as I can for as long as I can; they are my parents and they raised me to always do the right thing. I’m not only doing this out of love but respect and I feel that I’m still teaching my children even though they are grown.

The bottom line is this, do unto others as you would have them do unto you and we teach by actions not by words.