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Dating: Can It Help You Choose A Marriage Partner?

How to choose the best life mate in six ways

By NizolePublished 2 months ago 7 min read
Dating: Can It Help You Choose A Marriage Partner?
Photo by Alexandra Tran on Unsplash

Marriage is a significant commitment that is meant to be kept forever. It's critical to search for traits in potential life partners if you're dating with marriage in mind.

Your happiness may be significantly impacted by your choice of mate. In a partner, you want to seek for qualities that will strengthen your relationship over time.

You must look beyond chemistry and physically appealing qualities in order to do this. Not all people would make excellent partners (or rather, a good spouse for you).


A self-reliant individual won't depend on you to look after them or keep them amused and happy. Instead of needing you, an independent person wants you. They won't be needy or time-demanding.

A partner who needs continual reassurance and attention may make marriage more challenging. An independent individual is powerful, self-assured, and unafraid of alone. A self-sufficient individual is:

able to make future plans

able to refuse

Ability to respect oneself Awareness of what brings happiness

ability to live alone

economically sound


Each partner must be able to care for oneself in order for there to be independence. They may, however, also provide and receive assistance when required. Self-sufficient individuals are more equipped to provide care, attention, and assistance when you need it. You need a supportive individual at your side during every challenging phase of life. You really need a life partner at your side at all times—someone who supports you, makes you smile when all you want to do is weep, and who truly gets you. We are all connected by love, yet choosing a life mate may be quite challenging. It will take time and be challenging, but when you discover them, it's a stunning moment filled with incomprehensible sentiments, despite what others say. Just need to locate them. As a result, the following are some considerations you should make while searching for "the one."

Find a person with whom you can relate.

Selecting a person you can readily start up a conversation with is crucial. You won't grow tired doing things or chatting about them together if you do it this way.

A prospective partner who shares your interests It will be advantageous for you if you choose someone with whom you have many similar interests. Keep in mind that not all of your hobbies need to overlap, but some do. Seema Hingorrany, a clinical psychologist and relationship specialist "You must consider activities that the two of you would like doing together before deciding to spend the rest of your life with someone. For instance, you would like to be with someone who shares your interest in movies if you are a movie fanatic. Your life will be more exciting as a result.

Think about your partner's intelligence

If you are a non-achiever and your spouse is, your marriage may be in jeopardy if you are a non-achiever. You must agree on how you both receive information and think about issues.

Having standards is OK.

You should think about your expectations and the standards of your family while selecting a life mate. Selecting someone who likely does not come from the same social class as you is OK, but you should make sure that the choice is not wholly inappropriate.

Respect should be shown for one another.

It goes without saying that you cannot spend your whole life with someone who does not appreciate your aspirations, objectives, or unique personality. As a result, choose a person who will remember you forever.

Are you confident in your potential?

It is crucial to find a trustworthy person in this day and age. If you cannot believe in each other or trust each other, you cannot lead a happy marriage.

Five important things to think about while selecting a life partner

Some of the most frequent inquiries I get as a therapist concern how to choose a life partner, such as, "How do I know this person is appropriate for me?" How can I know whether they'll be a compatible life partner? What can I ask them that is most crucially important?

There is no easy solution to any of these queries. When we fall in love, our feelings don't always indicate that we are with the proper person. Because of this, we refer to falling in love. Just because we are human and have body chemistry doesn't indicate that we are compatible. In addition, when we are in love, the majority of us are ready to say, do, and be anything. Anyone who has seen The Bachelor can make the "correct" statements; but, a person's daily actions are what really reveal who they are.

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Instead of making this choice intuitively, it is preferable to utilize the logical portion of our brain to assess if the other person has the necessary "stuff" to create a good long-term spouse. Of course, our feelings are vital, and someone may be a perfect match for all the key characteristics we are seeking, but if our body doesn't respond to them — if there is no attraction, no chemistry, and no "wow" — that is also crucial information on which to make our choice. To make a decision, both the heart and the mind are required.

Here are five indicators that might tell you whether someone has what it takes to stick with something:

1. Family background

It's critical to understand a prospective partner's familial connections and the nature of these ties. Assess their capacity for forgiveness, acceptance, and support of family members. Observe how often they complain about or cause difficulty for others.

When I ask a client about their family history, I look for two warning signs. When someone says something is or was bad, it's one thing; when they claim something is or was great, it's quite another.

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A family member that fits the following description is an excellent example of being in balance: "My dad is a fascinating man, I guess. He is so kind and caring. He struggled mightily with depression. He tends to see things as half full, but he makes an effort to be more optimistic. The issue is that he's quite set in his ways and extremely reluctant to ask for assistance. But when I was growing up, I distinctly recall how dad always supported and loved me. He didn't often attend my events, but I always understood it wasn't because he didn't care." He says it how it is; this is fair-minded.

2. Previous associations

Finding out the kind of friendships someone has or has had is crucial. The fact that they still maintain a handful of their closest pals is the greatest indication.

Moreover, check to see whether they have been able to accept part of the blame for their failed relationships. Do they refer to former partners in a disparaging manner, such as "He was a real narcissist" or "She was crazy"? The majority of us, though, seem rather unattractive to the other near the conclusion of a relationship, so it's not always entirely accurate. Find out whether your prospective spouse makes an effort to be impartial.

3. How they deal with rage

This one will need observation rather than inquiry. Keep an eye on how they act when they don't get their way, when they are disappointed, or when they are upset. We must learn to deal with pain and disappointment in life as well as not getting our way. People's behavior with others in these situations is often a good indicator of how they will behave with you in the future.

4. Kindness

According to a lengthy research at the University of Virginia, generosity is regarded as the most important factor in a successful relationship. Keep an eye on how kind your possible mate is when they talk about and treat others. We are all kind and kind while we are in love, but you need to watch out for warning signs of how kind someone will be after the love potion wears off.

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