Consistency In Parenting

For a short time, I am a supervisor at the school of my daughters. There are two groups; group 1–4, and group 5–8. The last group is very difficult. This is because they are trying to belong to a certain group as they are searching for who they are. Also, they try to do what other children say them to do because they don’t want to be bullied.

What happens when their behaviour is appropriate? They beat one another, and shout out inappropriate language to one another?

Exactly, when you let children do all the inappropriate things, then the world may be very big chaos, full of anger and hatred. So, you, as a parent, and a supervisor at school, babysitter, or similar, need to be consistent in what you say and in what you do.

Last week, I was a supervisor during the lunch break at the school of my daughters. Children were not listening to us, the supervisors, and that is something I think also has to do with how parents raise their children and how they — and if they — can handle children without them going off the road.

As a supervisor, I had to be consistent in what I was saying, what I was doing, and then talk afterwards about why I think it was inappropriate what they were doing.

I warned one of them because of their behaviour, but that child didn’t listen to me. After three warnings I said that child needs to go inside, but that child didn’t listen to me at all. So, the other supervisor had to go inside to get the teacher, to whom they listen. How on earth are they going to listen to the teacher, but not to the supervisor who watches them during their lunch break?!

To me that is understandable.

That day I was so sad, that I couldn’t do anything else than think about what did I do wrong, but I didn’t do wrong because I thought that child’s behaviour was not okay. That child used bad language to me, which I think is not appropriate to use.

The child used swear words at me like something with cancer and things like that. I don’t like that. People die of cancer, and I think you shouldn’t swear with it.

Say stop multiple times

Also, if someone doesn’t want to play with a friend, then you — as a child — need to let go and play something else with someone else. But when one another doesn’t accept that and walk by, or even, run by that child, and who is a little bit sad, you just don’t bother that child. But what if that happens, and you — as a supervisor — said to stop to that running-child, and they don’t stop, you have to act and say ‘stop’ multiple times until they do what is asked from you, the supervisor.

They need to go inside

When they don’t listen to the parent, or supervisor, or whomever, you need to tell the child to go inside to cool down. Be consistent when they don’t listen to you. They need to know your boundaries. What do you want, or need, to tolerate? That is why you have to think about it in the first place, and yes, sometimes you’ll see that along the way.

Talk about their behaviour with the child

After the incident, you need to talk to that child about what had happened and that you don’t tolerate that of the child. Say what the consequences could be and how someone else would feel, how they would feel.

All aspects of raising children behaviour.