Confrontation with children is not frustrating education

Some parents say to their children, "If you can't play, don't play," which is the worst of the frustrations in children's interactions and will affect their social skills for life.

Confrontation with children is not frustrating education

At lunchtime, Sang-sang didn't seem to be interested in the fragrant meal his mother was cooking, he was still concentrating on his drawing. "Didn't you promise to take me to eat Kentucky Chicken? You can't keep your word." "Come and have lunch and I'll take you there this afternoon." "What's so good about the food you cook? I want to eat Kentucky Chicken." "You kids are getting worse and worse, we used to have no rice to eat when we were kids, where can we eat so well." "Hey, always before, now is now, people are eating McDonald's Kentucky Fried Chicken." "You don't know what you're getting into, sending you to Afghanistan and knowing that your mother cooks good food. The children there have nothing to eat, many children are starving to death." "If you want to go, you go, I won't do it!" "You talk back, and if you don't eat your lunch, you don't get to eat Kentucky Fried Chicken." "Who cares!" "Usually give you too good food, today I do not starve you, you do not know that I cooked rice fragrant!" Children living in today's general conditions are more privileged, the excessively superior environment not only did not raise children into good seedlings but also makes it difficult for children to face hardship, their self-care ability, adaptability, and survival ability are relatively poor. Experts call for frustration education for children nowadays, starting from early childhood, so that children living in a privileged environment can develop healthily.

Some parents who think they know about frustration education think that frustration education means criticism, punishing standing, not giving meals, confronting children, making them concede defeat, etc. Some parents think that their children's poor frustration tolerance is caused by family spoiling, so they can solve the problem if they suffer a little. As Sang-sang's mother thinks, if the child does not eat, just starve him to make him eat well. The problem is not that simple. Nowadays, children know their parent's hearts, and as long as they don't eat, even if their mothers don't care, their fathers will be distressed; sometimes there are grandparents and grandparents all on board. So many forced measures are not only difficult to take effect but often aggravate the child's rebellious mentality. Frustration education should be anti-frustration education: so that children dare to face difficulties, have the resourcefulness to cope with difficulties, and can solve them. Frustration education should be targeted according to the child's personality characteristics, effective education, never harsh criticism, loud scolding, and harsh chastisement or confrontation with the child.

The following measures can be taken.

1. To motivate the child's self-confidence, so that he has firm confidence in what he is doing. In daily life, consciously train your child to learn to take care of himself and do his things. The most important thing to do is to get dressed, brush your teeth, wash your face, eat, clean up your toys, organize your room, etc. Let your child do what he or she can do. "My baby's room is so beautifully organized!" This statement from the mom motivates your child to do his or her own thing better. Don't underestimate the importance of these little things. They are the things that children learn to do themselves and increase their confidence. But for some parents, everything is personally asked, everything arranged, the result of poor self-care ability of children, sand elf-confidence weak.

2, to exercise the child's tenacity so that he dares to face difficulties. When it comes to sharpening a child's will, some parents think they want to take their children to fight the sea and climb to the top. The conditions can certainly do so. You can train your child's spirit of hardship without leaving home. For example, when a toddler first learns to walk, his parents can guide him to stride and move forward, even if he falls, the parents help him up and continue to walk, through repeated training, the child will soon be able to walk on his own. Such a child grows up, his perseverance is stronger. The child saw the adults as nervous, he also dare not take another step. Such a child grows up weak-willed, and encounters difficulties, at a loss.

3, to enhance the child's social skills, and to overcome the child's shy mentality. Parents should consciously lead their children to public places to play with other children. At the beginning of the interaction, the child will feel embarrassed, and afraid of contact with other children, adults should encourage children to participate in it, it is best to start to find the children of acquaintances, or adults climb up with another parent so that the child's heart knows that the relationship between the children's parents is friends, thereby reducing the psychological pressure on the child. On the other hand, when a child does not know the rules of playmates and has difficulty interacting, parents should help in time. But some parents say to their children "don't play if you can't play", this is the most terrible frustration in children's interaction frustration, will certainly affect the child's lifelong social skills.

4, to train the child's ability to adapt, no matter what the situation can survive. Parents are responsible for training their children's ability to adapt to survive. Children's picky eating is a common problem, the root cause of which is the parents spoiled. A variety of supplemental food early eat bad children's stomachs, and then also blame the child does not eat, do not eat vegetables. On the one hand, parents can tell stories (the story of small animals is better) to enlighten children to eat can not be picky, on the other hand, you can also lead children to the mountain village to experience the life of children there. Or take the child to the wilderness outing, and try to bring some ordinary food, in hungry time, the child will also hold back their mouth to eat. Make the child know that in a difficult environment general food can also fill the hunger and let people survive. Well-trained children are more adaptable than children who only know how to enjoy themselves, and when they grow up and encounter the same difficulties, one will become a hero and the other may jump to his death.