Chrysanthemum

1981

You guys used to fight a lot. It didn't surprise me when you said you were going to separate. It sucked, but I was 10, so I was tough. I knew I'd get through it. I'd stay with you, mom, and I'd get to see Dad every weekend. It wasn't the ideal life but you both assured me that we would all do everything needed to make it work. And it did work. For a while.

1983

I was busy unpacking when dad came into my room. He was crying but said he was very happy I was there with him. You had gotten really sick in the last year and you both agreed that the best thing for me would be to live with dad. At least until you got better. He assured me that he always did and always will love you, and that he would do everything he could to help you. Dad didn't live to far from you, so I could still visit often. Not as much as I'd like because of school and your condition, but it was always a joy to see you. I had to come by anyway because you asked me to take care of you garden while you couldn't. I never really understood why back then, and to be truthful, I still don't. Nothing ever grew in the garden besides weeds and some wild flowers. You tried planting veggies and flowers a few times but it never worked. Dad figured maybe there was some sort of spill on the land at some point and it ruined the soil. But that never stopped you, and you still tried every year.

1984

Dad sat me down after school one day and told me the news. He said you didn't have much time left now. You hadn't been able to leave the bed for the last few months and he said the doctor had only given you days before you would pass on. He took me to see you right away. You didn't look well at all. You didn't look like yourself. Didn't look like my mom. It sucked. Dad said you hadn't woke up in a few days but when I got there, it's like you knew. You woke up and somehow found the strength to hug and kiss me. You told me that you loved me very much, that you loved dad very much, and that you were sorry for everything. I told you not to waste energy apologizing and to just get your rest. I was crying at that point and it seemed so hypocritical for me to tell you to be strong and that you could beat this. We both knew that wasn't true. You just sat there and smiled while I cried. We talked for another bit but you said you were feeling very tired. So the last thing you said to me was that you loved me and to not forget the garden

You died that night. Fuck cancer. I didn't think I'd ever stop crying. The funeral was very hard. So many people sharing so many lovely stories about you, but all I could think about was how much you would love to be there with us and hear them all. Everyone came over to your house after for food and to share more stories. It was to much for me though, so I went outside. I headed over to the garden. Your garden. To my surprise, a beautiful, yellow flower had grown. Just a single flower. I ran in to get dad and when he saw it he laughed and a tear rolled down his cheek. He said it was a chrysanthemum, your favorite flower.

1996

We bought your old house from dad. He said he snagged it after it went up for sale and just held it for me in case I wanted it someday. We're meeting him there today. We're going to tear it down and rebuild. Charles asked about thirty times if I was sure I wanted to tear it down but I think it's the best decision. The house was old and we needed to update since we were starting a family. Yes mom. I'm pregnant. Dad almost jumped through the roof with excitement when we told him. I really wish you could be here to meet our little one. It was so hard waiting for he/she to arrive. But first we needed to have a home. I told Charles the only thing that needed to remain as is was the garden. He didn't really understand but I had told him about the garden and the chrysanthemum so he didn't question it. I visited the garden every year on mother's day. The flower always grew back. I went to check on it today as Charles and the contractors were talking about their plans. The flower was still there, just like every other year since you passed. But to my surprise, this time when I checked on it, there was another flower growing right next to it. Your flower was a beautiful yellow, and this new one a lovely, light shade of orange. I know we definitely made the right choice with this home. I love and miss you, mom.