Childbirth during lockdown

As if the idea of pushing the equivalent of a watermelon out of my body wasn't bad enough, I found myself about to give birth amidst a global pandemic.

I remember being slumped over an exercise ball watching the television anxiously as my contractions started. The announcement was being made that we were going into lockdown.

Countless thoughts flooded my head. I had been fearful throughout my whole pregnancy due to previous losses. Fearful that something was about to go wrong, yet never did I contemplate that we would encounter a catastrophe that would encompass the whole world!

Three days worth of contractions passed before my waters broke. I rang the emergency number but I was told I didn't sound like I was in enough pain to be going into labour. I expressed my concern that my waters had broken, as I knew there was a risk if left too long, but the lady on the phone told me I shouldn't go into hospital yet due to covid.

I was extremely lucky my baby didn't get an infection as I ended up giving birth more than 24 hours after the breaking of my waters. My advice to anyone in this situation is that if you feel like you need to be seen GO TO HOSPITAL! No matter what anyone tells you, trust your instinct. When you are in the first stages of labour it is best to be comfortable at home for as long as possible but if you're concerned always put the safety of you and your baby first. Even my midwife was shocked that I was told to wait until the next day after my waters broke.

The next morning I rang again and spoke to a different lady who told me to go straight into the assessment unit to see if my waters had definitely broken. My fiancee wasn't allowed into the hospital at this point so he waited in the car.

I had to lay down for half an hour so any fluid would pool and they could do the test. It was positive. A very faint blue line but a line none the less, just like when taking a pregnancy test. The decision was made to induce my labour due to the fact my waters had started breaking the night before. All the time I was texting my partner the updates.

We decided that it was going to be a little while before I would go into the delivery suite so my fiancee drove home and made me some food. He picked up some bits we didn't manage to pack that morning and drove straight back.

At around 6 that evening my contractions started to become extremely intense. Another lady who was being induced was kind enough to find a midwife as she could see I was in so much pain. The midwife confirmed I needed to proceed to the delivery suite and finally, my partner was allowed to come in.

My memories of the time leading up to the birth are a little hazy but my most vivid memory was seeing my fiancee walking into the hospital. I was so relieved. This was about to be the craziest, strangest, hardest thing I had ever accomplished. I was so relieved to see his face. "I'm no longer facing this uncertainty alone."

After 3 more hours of intense contractions, a "relaxing" bath, that I couldn't even bring myself to sit down in, and throwing my arms around the midwife whimpering "I can't do this." It was time to push. Looking back on it now I feel so sorry for the midwife. I wasn't thinking at all that she was probably concerned about catching coronavirus whilst I threw my arms around her in desperation. I completely forgot covid existed and can you blame me? I don't think I could have told you what day it was at that point.

I pushed for one hour before my babies heart rate dropped slightly. The midwives acted extremely quickly and decided to perform an episiotomy.

I had always dreaded the space of time between my baby being born and her crying. I'm sure that few seconds or minutes can feel like hours. My baby didn't even wait until she was all the way out before she cried which was the best feeling. Before I even knew that she was born I knew she was ok.

Not long after she was born I started to feel strange. "That's it," I thought. I knew something was bound to go wrong. My babies healthy and safe but there is something wrong with me... Before I could tell anyone how I was feeling I threw up on my self and instantly felt better.

It's so true what they say, as soon as your beautiful baby is placed in your arms, the labour process you've just endured is nothing compared to how you feel when you see that tiny little face. Even during a pandemic, all you can think about is how much you love this tiny baby already and it clicks like a switch, that it is your job now and forever to protect and love this tiny little human.

At 11.12 pm my beautiful daughter was born. I had to stay in the hospital for 14 hours after birth because of my waters breaking the evening before. My partner had to leave at 3.00 am, after the paperwork was filled out, due to the new covid restrictions. The midwife took her time with the paperwork and let him stay whilst I showered the vomit off myself.

That night I didn't sleep. I sat in the armchair next to the bed until 1.00 pm when I was allowed to leave. I waited up, nursed and just stared at my baby daughter all night. I wondered what the future held for us as a family in this strange world. I hoped that I could keep her safe. I hoped that soon she would know a world where the people don't wear face masks and where it was considered safe to leave the house.

As selfish as it may sound, lockdown came at a good time for us. I loved that we didn't have any visitors in the few weeks after I gave birth. I got so much time to bond with my daughter without everyone else wanting to hold her. My fiancee also had a lot more time to spend with us than he would have if he wasn't furloughed.

7 months on and our daughter is still used to seeing people in face masks, it's all she's ever known. It looks like this will be the case for the foreseeable future but at least she is safe.

One day we will tell her the story of her birth. We will tell her how she was born in the strangest time we have ever known. We will tell her the story of how she was our beautiful... lockdown... rainbow baby.