Bring Home the Baby

Whether you’re having a planned cesarean or just had an emergency one: here is some real and true "mom" advice for you.

Step One: Don't Steal the Baby

After the birth of my first child, following my mother, my partner at the time and I thought we had filled out the paperwork correctly. Long story short, we were on the outskirts of the large city that I had given birth in and the hospital called us and asked for us to come back as we had missed something in the paperwork. In the strangest way possible, we stole my son from the hospital. I mean that in a joking way because if it was serious, we would have gone back. (They just required payment for our private room that we were very blessed to receive.) When I got the bill in the mail a month later, I just laughed. **Just as a side note, I am located in a small province in Canada. I think the rules are slightly different in most places.**

My small list of advice for a c-section mother...

1. Because I was at risk for having my children before their due date, I had my hospital bag ready and packed by the time I was 34 weeks with both children. You never know what can happen. So plan for the unexpected! Choose to pack loose-fitting clothing, in order to prevent rubbing against your fresh incision. Pack baby's bag alongside yours for peace of mind. Include a few outfits, receiving blankets, diapers, wipes because a lot of places don't provide them, and whatever else you think your baby will need during your hospital stay. If you have a partner going with you to the hospital, make sure to pack them clothing, toiletries, and anything else you may need!
2. While you are in the hospital, you can expect about a 2-3 day stay in the hospital after a c-section. During that time after surgery, you are usually more than welcome to wear your own clothes. I was still very tender around my incision so I just stayed in my hospital gown most of the time. Plus then there is less laundry for you to do when you go home! However, it makes you feel more like a person being in your own clothes while in the hospital.
3. Limit the number of people in the hospital. There is PLENTY of time to visit mom, dad, and the newborn baby AFTER your hospital stay. I was overwhelmed by the number of visitors we had with the birth of my first child. All together, we had over twenty-five visitors in the hospital over a stretch of two days. A lot of people stole my time, with my child. We even told a few relatives not to come visit because I was so overwhelmed by the people, trust me. With the birth of my second child, during the beginning of COVID, I was blessed with the whole no visitor's allowed deal. It was just my mother along side me for my second hospital stay. I think that COVID changed things for first-time parents in a profound way. Yes, things can be scary being by yourself, but there are still safe alternatives for family members to see your baby, like through video messaging.
4. Something that was recommended to me by another first-time mom, was placing pads along the inside of my underwear to help "cushion" my new incision. It amazed me because that neat trick helped a lot with my second child. Those first few days, you're very tender. It helps to have that cushion. (And bonus for you, the ridiculous pads the hospital provides make the best cushions.)
5. Speaking of the hospital pads, take every damn free thing the nurses provide for you, home. You spend so much money on your babies that you deserve those freebies. Trust me, the vaseline I was provided with each child was a lifesaver.
6. Chances are, you might get a post-partum infection if you don't follow after-care. When the doctors and nurses say to make sure you keep the incision clean they mean make sure you keep it clean. I cleaned my incision daily and I still got a slight infection. I lived in an older condo building and our unit did not have the greatest air conditioning. It was so hot during April that year I sweat so much just sitting on my leather couch in my over sized sweat pants and shorts for those first two weeks of my son's life. It doesn’t surprise me that my incision got infected even though I cleaned it daily. If you suspect your c-section incision is infected go and get it checked out sooner rather than later. My doctor recommended antibiotic ointment to clear up the external infection I experienced.
7. Have a helping hand around the house. Our first full day home from the hospital my mom came over to help us out and we really appreciated it! It was nice to have someone there in those first few days just to help out. The general rule of thumb is to not lift anything heavier than ten pounds after a c-section. That's easier said than done for people with multiple children. I had a hard time lifting my son right after the birth of my daughter. I tried to use my support people to help me lift him (especially at bedtime) BUT, my eldest child also needed mommy to lift him. Just use your judgment because no matter what, nobody knows your body better than yourself.
8. Because I was so exhausted towards the end of my pregnancies, I didn’t make as many freezer meals as I had wanted to before the birth of my son. It was a miracle if I even cooked supper back in those days. Definitely plan ahead though! I made sure my freezer was full and we didn’t go buy any fresh food till we got home. But who am I kidding I really just sent him to the grocery store with a list. I would highly recommend getting some pre-made fruit and veggie trays (or making your own but you honestly want things to be as easy as possible your first few days home.) You want things as easy as possible for when you get home so you can rest, and take care of your newborn baby. If you're breastfeeding, you need to remind yourself that you're fueling your body for your newborn child. A lot of moms struggle with appetite loss after their children's births.
9. Please refrain from having sex until your doctors give you the clear. You have essentially, an open wound almost the size of a dinner plate on your uterus that is very slowly healing. That is a long process you do not need to rush. You don't need to destroy your uterine health just for the sake of sex. It is a common thing for women who have gone through a cesarean to have sex before they are ready. That can complicate your health way later down the road.
10. Last but not least, find a few good mom support groups. There are beautiful positive parenting groups out there with a lot of great advice. Especially if you are a new mom, this gives you access to other support people. One thing to remember, don't get caught up in the drama. Not everyone parents the same way and a lot of people would even take a look at this post of mine and critique it. Especially if you wind up having an emergency c-section that looks nothing like your original birth plan whatsoever. You're allowed to have support. Sometimes, our moms aren't always right. And just because something worked out well for them in the past, doesn't mean that it will work for us in our own generation.

And that pretty well sums up my advice from the experiences I had with my children's birth stories. If you made it all the way to the end of this post, thank you for reading.

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Chloe Rose Violet

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