Breaking The Chains: A Cycle That Plagues Black America.

Now more than ever, it is time for the black community to start a change in our communities. With the stress of being raised in a home to a single mother of three, the rules differed.

My mother was raised in the south during Jim Crow in Little Rock, Arkansas, so my morals come from a southern place taught to respect our elders, speak when you enter a room, clean up your mess, everybody sometimes loses, etc. My counterparts are probably asking or saying I grew up with the same issues. However, it isn't the same. Let me explain why!

Trauma

My grandmother just turned 84 this year, which would place her birth year in 1936. My grandmother's father, my great grandfather, was a slave-making his father, the slave master. There are reasons that I understand now the "spanking" aspect of growing up and how in black communities, our traumas are passed along to generations.

Imagine being disciplined as a slave from "whippings" and then (her mother and father would punish my grandmother) would discipline their children in the same way a slave would be punished.

Traumas are carried down from generations of suffering. Today, my grandmother is not in the mindset of spanking anymore. Now, I realized, looking back, that my grandmother was working her hardest to break the cycle. I am sure that is something she attempted to change in herself.

Now, more than ever, I do understand my upbringing. My grandmother did the best she could with what she knew—however, I decided to break the trauma cycle. The abuse I dealt with was more than just "spanking" looking back; it was toxic.

When black people speak about "black trauma," some are not aware that that is a real thing in our community. Some people are okay with spanking their children. I have learned to understand my children. Talk to them more about what is going on. Just because they are children does not mean their voice does not matter.

You want your children to be able to talk to you. There are other ways to discipline children other than spanking. Boys are allowed to be sensitive; however, that is not the case in some families. These are the issues that we need to become aware of and attempt to change.

Research

Back in 2016, I worked as a research technician at a hospital. The study was to find out how Native Americans face disparities due to colonization leading to historical trauma. We would draw their blood once for a baseline; after being relaxed, you draw their blood again. Then you would go back and perform venipuncture on the resting blood sample.

The study was similar to; Developing An Indigenous Measure of Overall Health and Well-Being: The Wicozni Instrument. Trauma experienced from colonization and the slavery of our people runs deeper. Just because it is not happening now does not mean that it still does affect the community.

Final Thought

In Conclusion, our upbringing in the black community runs deep into slavery history. My grandmother is alive at 84 years old and allowed me to reflect and understand my upbringing. It wasn't nearly as severe as my grandmother or even my mother.

Now my understanding of our upbringing in our communities makes sense. How can one expect to raise children differently? Especially if you are the product of parents who were slaves. Our mentality is still in disdained 400 years later.

My mother was one of the first black children able to go to school in the south. Growing up during Jim Crow, my mother would tell me stories about the klan passing by their house in the night.

She also told me stories about her running home from school. The white children would chase my mother and her siblings to the railroad tracks. Sometimes they would fight with them, but, mostly they would just run. That alone is traumatic, but this is America.

My mother was born in 1956, which was not that long ago. When people say racism and black trauma is not real, they are wrong. What can be learned is how to focus on your children. Listen to their needs and wants; that does not mean they will get their way.

Reflect on your upbringing for understanding versus pity. Educate yourself on dealing with trauma—being mindful of your actions when you get angry with your children. Discipline does not have to be in the form of spanking. You can break the shackles of generational upbringing with you.

Reference:

DEVELOPING AN INDIGENOUS MEASURE OF OVERALL HEALTH AND WELL-BEING: THE WICOZANI INSTRUMENT Peters, H. J., Ph.D., Peterson, T. R., EdD, & Community, D. W. (2015). DEVELOPING AN INDIGENOUS MEASURE OF OVERALL HEALTH AND WELL-BEING: THE WICOZANI INSTRUMENT [PDF]. Aurora: Centers for American Indian and Alaska Native Health.https://www.crcaih.org/assets/CRCAIH_Pubs/Peters_Wicozani.pdf