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Brave Woman

A Letter to My Mother

By Yvette McDermottPublished 3 years ago 5 min read
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Brave Woman
Photo by Guillaume de Germain on Unsplash

Dear mother - you are the first woman I met when I entered this world kicking and screaming. You taught me how to stand well on my own as life was not easy and nor was it ever promised to be. Thank you for teaching me how to be clean and to clean, how to cook, how not to judge others, how to care and to love, when to be careful, and all the other teachings and all else you did in my life. I know your life was not an easy one as you were snatched from your home as a child to live in a residential school. You lived without your parents and community in a place that was more cruel than kind. Thank you for teaching me that no hardship goes without leaving you a gift - that gift is endurance. Endurance builds character. Character builds hope and without hope, everything is lost. Thank you for all these gifts.

Thank you for confiding that you were raped on the side of a road when you were a young woman, and thank you further for telling me that you did have another child prior to having met my dad and having us and that child was a result of this rape. I could tell when you asked me to sit down and turn out the lights that what you'd tell me was important. You didn't want me to see you when you told me that this was something that you have kept hidden away even from yourself. I could tell by the tears in your eyes that this had eaten at you for years. I am sorry that you felt you had to hide this away from your family when we should have been a bigger comfort to you as you always tried to be for us. With this you taught me to try to be vigilant in listening for cues or being there for someone wanting to talk.

When my dad passed away, thank you for taking care of us as we were all still young. Thank you for not leaving us as was one of my fears at that age. It could have been an easier way out than feeding, clothing and housing five young children. Thank you for the hard work you did to keep us a family and showing me how much family means.

After your youngest child Rhonda died at age twenty-seven (and my youngest sibling) herself a young mother, thank you for never letting her memory die and thank you for always keeping in contact with her child as she was growing up and is now herself a young mom. Thank you for also helping me finish paying for her headstone when no one else could or would. After your next child died years later, thank you for acknowledging your shortcomings because you and Patrick never had a great relationship. I know that must have been really hard to say goodbye to two of your children under circumstances that could have been prevented. (Both my siblings drank themselves to death.)

By Ben Hershey on Unsplash

After one of your other sons was in a life changing accident, thank you for showing us we don't give up on our family. We stand by them and help them when they need us. We visited my brother in the ICU and then different hospital wards until he was allowed out after about six months. My daughter was a child then and cried as she thought he was going to pass away in there. I told her rather than cry, tell him stories and talk to him about what's going on at school and this she did. This you taught me also.

Thank you for also showing me that you never give up. You showed me this as in your late 70s you went in for heart surgery and then a year later had a kidney removed. I feel like I was more scared than you were in both cases. It was the first time I ever remember thinking what if I didn't see you again?

I remember the day after the heart surgery, you were sitting up in your room, and it made me laugh because I believe that was the only time I ever saw you with your hair standing up in a mess. You were in a good mood and sitting up talking to me and auntie. I felt sadness though as I could see the other patients who didn't look as lively as you did. Thank you for living a clean lifestyle that made you strong even in old age.

Thank you mother most of all for always loving and caring about me even though I acted like a spoiled brat at times as a teenager when you worked so hard to keep us together, for caring about me when I made HUGE mistakes, feeding me when I was hungry even though I had moved out on my own, giving me that hug and kiss when I was at my lowest point in life.

And I know you don't know this but I have held a grudge even though I've been working on it for years. I held a grudge for past events where I was hurt. I am sorry for that as in reality I always know I can count on you to be in my corner. I know your own mistakes were borne out of your own stolen childhood. You are the toughest woman I know.

Thanks for reading this. I know we all have our strong women in our lives and it would be an honour to meet them all. My mom is the toughest one I have met, and I know she is in good company. She's eighty-four now and still walking, still gardening and still keeping-on. She has always been very unpresuming and just going through life and whatever was put in her way. Maybe that was her secret. Anyhow I hope you enjoyed my letter. There is so much more I could put on here, but I thought I'd put the highlights or should I say lowlights up in her life.

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About the Creator

Yvette McDermott

I am a grandma of three; I enjoy hiking, reading, cooking and Halloween. I mainly enjoy historical and horror films or books. I also enjoy exploring old sites and taking pictures.

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