Boob Job, $199/Month

There is a plastic surgeon on the main road that leads to my neighborhood. The practice has adopted a digital sign to advertise the services they can offer.

I’m not sure how I feel about this. If people feel the need to improve their looks, who am I to judge, much less stop them? I’ve always tried to apply the “you do you” mindset. I’ll tell you if I disagree, but I don’t expect that to change anything for you. Why would my opinion change anything for you anyway?

But the thing is, I have kids. Kids who can read. Kids who might read too much, but that’s a different story. These kids who can read, also ask a lot of questions. A lot of questions. Each question answered tends to lead to a new question asked. These kids are very inquisitive. They are also smart enough to know that their mom and me won’t lie to them when they ask us a question. We may hope for a distraction, or gloss over the truth, but we won’t out right lie to them.

Now, in case you were wondering, for my dilemma with the big illuminated boob job sign.

I’m waiting for the day we drive passed the digital sign and one of the boys looks up to read it as we go by. I’m not ready to explain to 8 and 7 year old boys what breast enhancement is. I don’t think I should have to do that just yet. I think these boys, who have an endless thirst lately for books with seemingly endless fart jokes, should hold on to their childhood innocence for at least a little while longer.

So far, I don’t think they know what boobs are. When I think about having to explain what boob jobs are to these boys, and having to go down that rabbit hole, I think I’ll keep the fart jokes.

Maybe I just want a buffer zone of more than 4 traffic lights between my boys and the boob job sign.

To my knowledge, they have not discovered all of the things that the internet has to offer. I hope they haven’t. They’re not even 10 yet after all. I hope we can keep it that way for a while.

10 is still young to discover some of what is out there via your internet connection. That should come later, if at all. To be honest, I’m a little scared of the day they do discover what’s out there on the internet, beyond YouTube. I’m not looking forward to that conversation either. I can only imagine that there will be a lot of questions.

So why the sign? Why the sign on the main street in my little piece of suburbia? The sign also happens to be down the street from a couple of schools where, you guessed it, other young, hopefully still innocent and mostly uneducated about the internet children spend the day learning. These other kids also drive by the boob job sign in their parents’ cars, which makes me wonder how their parents feel about the sign.

I’m not completely old fashioned, not a prude. I don’t yell at kids to get off my lawn all day, but I’m not completely progressive either. I think that kids should be able to be kids as long as they can without being bombarded with things they are not ready to process.

I get it, sex sells. But, I guess it all boils down to simple ask. Keep your boob jobs away from my kids.