Bonus

This time of year people start to reflect on their lives. I do it all the time, what could I have done differently, what would have happened if I done this or that? We spend so much time wondering and maybe not enough enjoying what we do have. An example would be health, happiness as enjoyment. Sickness, hatred, these are things that should be ended. Those topics can be for another time. What I want to discuss today is my wonderfully nutty , insane family. I say this with a smile upon my face. I actually have a great family.

They are always supportive, loving, teaching and learning with each other. You see I have a large family. Mom, Dad, Aunts, Uncles, cousins, you name it I have it. I have in-laws, but I have even more than the bio-family. I have quite an extended BONUS family.

I have a wonderful Bonus family on all sides. I have Bonus parents, siblings, kids, grand kids, nieces and nephews. I call them bonus because I have been lucky enough to have them in my life by choice. Some choices leave you lonely and afraid, some leave you full of joy and wonderment. The choices of others and myself have brought me a huge and wonderful bonus family.

We have been lucky enough to be brought together and share our lives with one another. To me, this is wonderful. My parents have found their mates in life, which brought me to my bonus parents. They have happiness and love throughout. With the new comes also bonus siblings, we all kind of balanced out with 4 girls and 4 boys. Those kids had kids, their kids have had kids and our family grew. As each new member joins this strange situation, it seems to work out well.

We also have those we share our personal life with and maybe they have kids as well, Bonus. Our kids meet someone to share their life with and yes, they may have kids, yep, Bonus! Again, it seems to work out somehow.

I have been blessed by all the Bonus people in my life. I have even chosen people to be in my family as an extra bonus. They know who they are. It is a select few that have joined our family by our own choices to let them in but they fit perfectly within our world. Not just my own choices but those of other members as well. Somehow we just click. A rather strange feeling as I see families who can not get along and they are of the same blood. Here is my family of all types and we are better than ever. At least as far as I am concerned.

I would be lying if I said it was always this way and it didn't take growing up, accepting and just love. It took a long time to get past normal kid feelings. As I grew, so did my understanding of the choices made to bring these people into my life. Getting to know these people took time, patience,and trust. None of these things felt possible when I was younger. Again, as time passed, things change and become clearer. More perspective if you will.

I call all these people a bonus because to many times the phrase step whatever, has caused issue and hurtfulness. I do not like step or half, we tend to treat them as such. Everyone is a whole and should be treated that way. Step is not whole and half certainly doesn't sound whole. No one should be treated as less than they are. Wouldn't you agree? I mean if you heard these terms all your life and didn't modify the way thought and felt, would you really feel you belonged? I didn't. I had to modify my growth and open my mind and my heart to share my feelings and my family with them. It took time but it has happened. Lucky am I to get along with all these people? Yes, I am lucky. Lucky and Thankful for all of them.

I have so much Bonus in my life that you couldn't throw a stone and not hit one. Truly, I wouldn't want it any other way. I do not believe I would be who I am without all my family. Everyone has contributed to how I am. Words of wisdom, love, a hug when needed. Love with no bounds. I would like to be that way as well. I want to love each member with no bounds. Not an easy thing to do. Some can be harder than others, true. The result is the same, family.

You see even my own personal life has it's bonuses. Sons, Daughter-in-laws, (Daughter's), grandchildren too. My husband's family has become mine as well. It just depends on you want to look at the situation, I chose my husband and with him comes more family. Just as when my parents joined with their new partners, came more family. I accept this and welcome a time when maybe they will feel this way toward me. I like Bonus it is just a better way to look at things.

I love each and everyone of them as if they were mine all my life. We may not have time to see each other as much as we would like, but when we do, it is as if we have been together all along. I feel this way, maybe someday someone will feel as if I am a bonus in their life as I do them. Watching from afar is hard to do when family has been my main objective most of my life.

So if you are lucky enough to have a Bonus family, love them as if they have always been a part of you. Go forward with an open mind. There is too much hatefulness in this world to keep adding to. Hold the judgments, and the resentment,until you know for sure you just can not get along, but really look at the situation, see what you can do to help make the transition of becoming a bonus family easier. Really put forth the effort. You never know, you could be as lucky as I am.

This is for my huge , nutty, beautiful family! I love each and everyone of you! You all have added to what has always mattered to me. Family. Each person in my world of family is a BONUS.

I do hope that as they read this they feel how much I love them. Each and every member of my screwball family has a place in my heart. I also hope others can take from this a little happiness and understanding in life. You may not have the choice of who becomes part of your world, but you have the choice on how to accept, and how to treat each person who does.