Black & Brown - The Journey

Love in South Africa is not easy as it seems, there are about 9 tribes with different cultures and customs. The youth growing up are told to be free and live to their full potential yet with untold restrictions about tribal discrimination. Black who is Swati, a different tribe, and Brown who is a Pedi, also a different tribe. They were two young beautiful people who grew up in Gauteng province, the smallest province in the country but has a lot of diversity when it comes to culture. They met in a town called Germiston on a public taxi. As they engaged in conversation, they realized how much they are connected and had lived around each other with little knowledge of the other.

That day, Black showed interest in Brown and told her that he would like to go on a date with her. However mentioned that she was in a relationship with someone else but if one day, it happens that she is single, she will be sure to hit up Black so they could link up. That night Black could not sleep, he went on Facebook to do research about her and find her profile and indeed she was with someone else, which shuttered his heart, but he had hope.

About 7 months passed, and Black went on again on Facebook to see if she was still in a relationship, he was thrilled to notice that her relationship status was now single and he sent her a message instantly. They talked so much that night that Black was late for work the next morning, he didn’t mind at all because love is strong and made him feel complete. As for Brown, she was a little more reserved, worried if Black is aware of what he was getting himself into. Brown, despite her beauty, had other health issues which she wished Black would accept so he can love her fully.

On the other hand, Black was willing to lay his own life for this lady as everything felt right. When they met in person, Brown suggested they meet at her residence so she can be more comfortable with him. She told him about she might not be able to conceive kids in the future as she is diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS), it did pose a bit of worry with Black, but true love conquers all. Black had a son before meeting Brown, so he was a little happy that he already has a son in case it becomes difficult for them to have a baby.

Brown wanted a baby too but given the circumstance, she had to accept things as they are, she embraced Black’s son as her own. The son was 4 years when they met and he was as sweet as his father. As they dated, Brown’s family did not approve of their relationship and asked that they do things right, traditionally. Doing things right meant they had to follow cultural customs and be married, the first step was to pay Lobola (dowry) and Black wasn’t financially capable. He went to a bank and took a loan to make this possible.

Traditionally, the man’s family goes to the woman’s family and asks for a date for the Lobola negotiations. The two families agreed on a date to meet, on that faithful exciting day, in May, Brown’s father called before the family could arrive and said that he does not want his daughter to be married to another tribe. What was shocking is why he did not say that to the family when they first met, or tell his daughter not to engage with other boys from a different tribe. This broke Brown's heart and her father gave her a choice to choose between her and Black, she chose Black and moved in with him.

This created a rift between Brown and her family to the point that it started affecting her mother, she was depressed and got sick. Black saw all of this and it hurt him, Brown hoped her father would come around but he refused every time they tried reasoning with him. One day Black realized that Brown was not the same anymore and she was getting sick and depressed too, so he asked her, to go back home. This made Brown cry so much that she told Black that if she goes, she might not come back and their relationship could end. Black knew what would happen if she left, but he could not let her continue her life in this kind of pain.

So he agreed for her to leave, and about 2 months later, Brown told Black that it is best if they break up so they can save each other from the pain. Black thought he was prepared for this but it broke his heart so much, it took him about 3 years to fully let go of the possibility of being with her again. Till today they’ve cut all communication and live separate lives, this made Black look at life very differently. South Africa is not as united as it is, it is heartbreaking to go through something like this, but it tells you that there’s a long way to unite Africans because they are very territorial about people not from their tribe. The tribal issues have decreased ever since but to Black, it changed everything for him and he will never see things as beautiful as they make to be.