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BFF

Butterfly

By Tania M. Cortez HamiltonPublished 2 years ago Updated 2 years ago 5 min read
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BFF
Photo by Chris Chow on Unsplash

My name is Tania. I am 40 years old, and I feel great. I feel much better than I did many, many years ago. Life might be hard for us sometimes, especially when there are unexpected changes. Caring for someone you love, with a mental illness, can be very challenging. I was always stuck wondering, "how can you take care of someone with this horrible disease?" Your heart will break into many pieces when you learn there's no cure for it. I would like to know and reach out to caregivers who care about a loved one with Alzheimer's disease. I want to do anything and everything that I can to help find a cure for this disease.

As a child, everyone in my family took care of me. I'm so grateful for all the care and love that I had. I was the youngest one of 4. I really enjoyed spending time with my parents, most of all. Having a mom and a dad meant the world to me. When I was 11 years old, my father passed suddenly of a heart attack. My brother did everything he could to save my father's life, but he couldn't. I remember my brother closing my father's eyes. Then my brother looked at me and said, "we're going to be strong for our mom and sister."

My life had changed in an instant. Being a child at 11 without a father was all new to me and it was very painful. It was very hard for me to accept that from that moment on, it was only going to be my mom and I. That marked the beginning of a great relationship I have with my mom. As the days went by, it got harder and harder for us. It wasn't easy to accept that my father was gone. I moved into the same room with my mom. My mom missed my dad a lot, and I didn't mind keeping her company. It felt good to give my mom all the support I could ever give her.

One day my mom started a babysitting job for the first time. I would go with my mom to help her before and after school. We did this for about 3 years. We cleaned houses too. A year after I was done with High School, I started working for the first time. My mom had been working in a nursing home over 5 years. I would go help her in the mornings. When she had a break she would take me to work. Then she would pick me up after work and we continued our adventure going home. I never got bored with my mom. We always had fun adventures together. The years went by and things got better every time. We had a lot of good times and bad times. We got into trouble sometimes. I would get mad at her at times because she wouldn't listen to me. I like to think about everything that my mom and I did together. My mom has a great sense of humor, no matter how bad she feels. Her optimism is contagious, and that's something that I've learned from her. I never want to be the ugly person I used to be.

10 years ago my mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. There will be a day when my mom will not remember who I am, and I get scared when I think about this. But I will always remember that my mom is my BFF (Best Friend Forever). I don't have any children. Taking care of my mom is like having a child. To me it is a privilege to have this experience with her. My mother has always been a blessing to me, and now I want to be a blessing to her. This disease can be very challenging at times. Having a good sense of humor, and not taking it personal is all you can do. With my mom I put aside all of my personal problems and issues. I like making sacrifices for her just like she did for me. The only thing I can offer my mom is my heart. Throughout this difficult challenge, I have discovered a better version of myself. It has been a great, but difficult learning experience as well.

When I was a child, I went on a lot of long road trips with my parents. We traveled a lot to San Francisco. My mom wanted to visit my aunt and help her. My aunts health was not good. The three of us had a lot of good times together. My father was a hard working man. He seemed like he was too serious sometimes, but he had a good sense of humor. He liked to spoil me a lot. I got in trouble once because I took his change from the nightstand. I never thought I would get caught, but he told my sister like it I did something cute. So my sister punished me on my birthday. On one of our trips to San Francisco, I accidentally broke the only key we had to the car. That incident delayed our return back home. That was the only time I made him really mad.

In my heart I treasure all the great times I had with my parents. I always thought my life was only going to be about the three of us. You never think those moments will come to an end one day. All of those memories will be in my mind forever. I like to close my eyes and think about everything we did as a family.

humanity
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Tania M. Cortez Hamilton

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