Before she was Here.

Claudine held her breath as she slid out of the room. She was extra careful not to step on the creaky floor board just across the threshold. This was her sixth night sneaking out past curfew. So far, she’d run into no problem at all, but that didn’t stop her tiny heart from pounding beneath her nightgown. Now safely out of the dormitory, Claudine moved quickly. Excitement flushed her cheeks. The rate at which she moved may have caused more of a commotion if she were someone of a larger stature, but the bobbing blonde head sat atop a child’s body. This girl was no more than 4 years old. Her bare feet padded softly over the cold and aged stones of the main hallway. This place, with its long grey shadows, was becoming familiar to her, though she wasn’t sure how long she had been Here. It was longer than someone her age could keep track of and she was beginning to forget what life was like Before. Fear pricked at her neck and water threatened her eyes. Claudine shook her head violently. She didn’t understand why she was Here but she knew she was on a mission.

The sound had been going on all week. It was like a scream but more melodic. High pitched and shrill. It seemed to chatter throughout the black and inky night. An endless, one-sided conversation in an alien tongue. Claudine was sure this sound couldn’t have come from a person but nonetheless, she was hopeful she might find what she was looking for. If she could only find the source of this scream…

Claudine still thought of her often. The memories were patchy and comprised of flashes of images, smells and sounds. Her bright green eyes being hit by the morning sun. The smell of rosemary loaves in the oven. The peace of being cradled in her soft, downy arms. Mama. It felt like an eternity since Claudine had last seen her. Claudine balled up her little fists as she tried to remember. She remembered being alone back in the Before Place. Alone for too long. She had been scared and her throat had been so raw from screaming that at one point, she couldn’t anymore. Claudine had then sat in silence until there was pounding at the door. A pounding so loud, and then large unfamiliar men. They picked her up and took her away.

Now she was Here. Hot breath piped out of Claudine’s nose and she stumbled to a stop, momentarily overwhelmed. Her tiny lip trembled; her mind was a cacophony of things she couldn’t yet comprehend. Then she heard it. The otherworldly cry. It was mesmerizing and foreboding at the same time. The sound of it made her insides quake. She wanted to turn around and run to a warm bed, but she couldn’t. A deep yearning struck her. Claudine hurried forward even faster. She had reached the back stairwell which led down to the storage and pantry, and also led to a door opening unto the grounds. Claudine’s blood coursed goadingly through her veins, giving her speed she had not earned. She poured down the stairs as if she were liquid. Barreling around a corner she reached the last flight. Two more steps until landing, but the old uneven staircase was a trickster. Claudine’s heel landed just past the final step. Her great speed propelled her forward and she met the unyielding stone face first. Pain radiated from the left side of her face where her baby teeth had cut into her cheek. Salty and metallic liquid filled her mouth. As the veil of shock wore off, Claudine began to cry. She cried aloud, wanting comfort, wanting someone to come and find her. Wanting her mother. The child’s lungs heaved, sucking in big gasps of air. She was about to succumb to the grief and wail in the way only a young child could, but then a bone splintering screech came from the end of the hall. It sounded like the coldest winter wind, howling between the peaks of a darkened mountain. Claudine clamped down on the scream that boiled in her chest and lifted her head off the ground. She stared down the shadowed hall with saucer eyes. A nameless and ancient fear held her in a trance. Her body told her to turn away, to go back upstairs, but her heart beat with a desperate hope.

On shaky legs Claudine stumbled forward. Her arms stretched outward, double checking the grey and shapeless path ahead. The sound had continued, now settling into gentler trills and clicks. Claudine knew those sounds. She knew she had heard them in the Before Place. In all her time Here, this was the only thing that was like the Before Place. She shuffled her way down the hall until she found the decaying oak door. Claudine pushed at it with as much might as she could muster, just as she had the night previously. The rusted deadbolts high above her head didn’t quiver. The siren cry captured her focus and she followed it to the storage room. The room was damp and musty; it made her skin prick. The moon hung low outside the tiny window and its rays covered Claudine in silver. A shadowed shape swooped by and the window pane swayed ever so gently, moved by a gust of wind. An idea sparked in the tiny blonde head. Claudine looked over the chairs leaning against the wall and the grimy boxes stacked underneath the window. She cupped her left cheek remembering the pain. Again she listened, senses on high alert, waiting for the bewitching sound. Yes. It was there. A hiss in the distance. She balled her fists, marched towards the mountain of boxes and began her climb. With swift purpose little Claudine ascended. Each ledge came easily into focus, each foothold materialized just as she needed it. Suddenly she had reached the top and her face was illuminated by the full force of the moon. Blue veins showed around her forehead. Claudine pushed the window open and could feel the frosty air on her bare skin. Without reserve she thrust her head and upper body out the window. Her legs were not far behind and she toppled over the rhododendron bushes lining the brick walls outside. More pain struck her in the back and arm, but the overwhelming sense of freedom numbed it. She looked at the towering brick house she had just left behind. It was the first time she’d been alone outside and the sky seemed endless. Claudine’s eyes cast wildly in different directions, unsure of where to go. As if on command, the sorrowful cry filled the air. It came from across the yard. Where the elm grove began.

Claudine’s feet pounded over grass and dirt. She was filthy. Her white cotton nightgown was soiled with grime, dust and blood. Her heart beat frantically. She moved as quickly as her body would allow, driven forward by the desperate hope. Tears now streamed unwillingly down her cheeks.

“Mama!” Her frail voice called out into the night. “Mama, Mama!” Claudine ran headlong into the forest, chasing the dying memory of a mother lost. Oblivious to the creatures that watched from the shadows, she cut through the trees. She ran past a bog, a fox and a fallen oak. She ran until her tears had crusted on her face, and then she collapsed into a pile of decaying leaves. Only as her heart rate slowed did she feel the full effect of the cold. Her fingers and toes ached and she shivered all over. Claudine wrapped herself in her nightgown and pulled the dead leaves on top. She shook as she stared into the tree canopy. Another piercing cry assaulted the silence. Claudine’s eyes snapped to the right. High in the branches sat a winged creature. It was feathered in tones of cream and brown, its slick black eyes slanted down towards a sharp beak and it had a dish shaped face. It stared back at Claudine and trilled three times. Claudine was frozen with wonder; she began to weep. She wept until she could no longer bare too. Then, overcome with the trials of her journey she batted her eyes closed and gave over to the tidal wave of slumber.

Claudine awoke to the unpleasant sensation of being dragged out of bed, but she couldn’t quite wake up. Her swollen eyes inched open and closed again. She caught sight of blurry surroundings. Claudine had the sense she was being bounced up and down and felt mildly nauseous. For a moment, she gained clarity and was able to make out a face above her. Soft and pink, chapped lips, green eyes. A smile crept onto Claudine’s face and she lost consciousness.

When Claudine awoke for the second time her head felt full of cotton. Her tongue searched around her mouth and fussed at a cut in her left cheek. She opened her eyes to slits and saw beds. She was back. Back Here.

“Poor darling.” A voice crept towards her from the other side of the room. “Some take it harder than the others.”

“It’s a tough age, hers. They remember but they can’t understand.” Claudine thought she recognized that voice. It was Mrs. Hannah.

“I only hope someone takes her home soon. Maybe with the love a new family she’ll forget.” Claudine’s eyes went dull, she closed them tight. She worked her best to ignore the chattering of the old ladies and perked her ears to the window above her bed. On the backside of her eyelids, she saw another set of eyes. Black, shiny and slanted. The hope in her heart flared back up. Dark would come and so would the cries. She would find the Before Place.