Babee

Up until this point, it's been much preparation for the arrival of our baby. We painted the room and decorated it in a Dr. Seuss theme throughout. There's Horton here, Who there, and The Cat in the Hat brightly shines down from above. One fish here, Green Eggs, an Eye, The Grinch, an Ear, a Wocket, and a book I had never even heard of called, "The King's Stilts". We found it on Ebay; it's from 1939. It isn't written in Dr. Seuss or even Geisel style, but it is fascinating. All in all, we have a hundred or better books in this room already. We have many hundreds of trinkets and toys-some cool retro stuff, as well-for Elsee to train her mind with when she get here.

I'm sitting in the baby room right now. I'm trying to picture what life will be like soon. I can hear her cry, her laugh. I've never done this before. These two girls are my step-children and I love them as much as I will love her, but I've never done this from the start. The poops, the cries, the puke, the screaming, more poops, how in the hell did we advance this far as a species? Cavemen, and women, didn't have diapers so there must have been shit everywhere. I'll table that discussion for later. I'm in the rocking chair I'll sit in to feed her late at night. I'm excited to try breastfeeding, although nothing comes out yet when I attach the pumps. In good time.

In just one months time, or fewer if she dare, I'll be rocking little Elsee in her Horton colored chair. We've made a little world for you, Theo Geisel would approve. A quick 18 short years from now, I'm going to make you move. I felt you in your womb today, your little feet poked out. In 30 days you'll be around, your sister's love no doubt. I am not Seuss nor Eminem, I struggle to make rhymes. The next few months for me for sure, will be most trying times. Tiny diapers, baby feet. Rocking back in daddy's seat. We'll see you soon my little one, soon we all will meet.

Oh, the places you'll go, Elsee. You will begin this world with everything you need. you'll have food, shelter, love, and support. You will have every opportunity to change this world.

Life as we know it will soon change dramatically. Five years ago, none of this seemed possible, but it happened. Some people entering recovery now are going through the same thoughts. Everything is possible. It takes an extraordinary amount of work and patience, but it can all happen. This is the miracle of recovery; these are the promises in action.