An old headmaster who has been teaching for 20 years reveals the heart-wrenching truth of today's education: mama's boy and Zombie Dad

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I don't quite understand what PUA means. It took me a long time to understand the word "volume", but I know that PUA is a bad word and I want to stay away from it.

Recently I blamed a mother for taking care of her son's affairs so much that she had to help with everything. For example, she helped with the self-presentation of the resume required by the International Department, and she helped write the self-introduction of the oral interview. She even eavesdropped on her son's interview against the door, and afterwards blamed herself for not helping the child prepare all the questions. She also said that fortunately, her son was so obedient that he could do what she wanted.

I said, my son is in the third year of junior high school, let him exercise himself, and even consciously let him go through a little setback. What's more, the enrollment of the International Department mainly depends on the first model and the middle school entrance examination area, and takes a look at the TOEFL. The purpose of the interview is much more than screening, so don't put too much effort into it.

Speaking of this, it suddenly occurred to me that what young and middle-aged women around me complain most recently is that my husband is obedient to her mother-in-law, and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is difficult, so I played a few words half-jokingly.

I said, when my son grows up, if everything is dominated by you and becomes mama's boy, then you will also affect the relationship between husband and wife. Just step back!

Considering that the mother who loves her son so much may be uncomfortable with my "bad advice", I hasten to add: to tell you, No. 4 Middle School International Campus likes to interview parents, and their favorite type of parents is to fully let go. Such children are more self-reliant. If you catch up with your interview, don't go on and on, be quiet, and pretend that you are letting go.

Later, I wrote an article "to anxious parents studying abroad in the third year of junior high school", pointing out that parents should control their children's help and not turn their son into a mama's boy. As a result, some mothers were annoyed, and the comment area said I was PUA and highly praised.

I finally didn't avoid the word PUA! It turns out that mama's boy is a sensitive word in the mom world!

I think of my mother. My mother is 77 years old this year. For many reasons, she loves me very much. I am her very important spiritual support. I realized this when I was very young, so I studied and worked very hard until this age. The reason does not rule out that although I am nearly fifty years old, I still want her to feel that I still have the ability to continue to be her spiritual pillar.

In daily life, I will also talk about her bad habits, such as asking her to pay attention to personal hygiene, not to save too much electricity, not to eat expired food, and not to pick up junk from the street once in a while. However, my mother has a very important advantage, that is, she has stopped interfering in my affairs since I was very young.

She helped me cross the line in the last two ways. One was that I couldn't draw well when I was in the first year of junior high school in 1986, and my mother helped me finish my painting homework. The other was when I volunteered for college in 1992, forcing me not to major in history and let me go to Beijing Foreign Studies.

I am a very rebellious person, study, work, personal life, are a little twists and turns.

My mother would talk about me, but she would just talk about it, and she didn't talk hard, and she didn't fall out with me because of any decisions I made.

Almost all the decisions in my life are made by myself, so I dare to bear all the consequences. And most importantly, my mother's training of me gave me the freedom to listen to my heart in all the judgments of right and wrong.

The purpose of this article is just to express my well-intentioned expectations of the boys and hope that they will have the freedom of judgment and decision in their future lives. Of course, I can't make new mistakes and create inequality between men and women, but I do think that a woman, whether she is a mother, a lover or a daughter, would prefer that son, man and father to bear more and become the towering backbone around her.

In many conversations with my parents, I know that dislike of "mama's boy" is only a superficial problem, and the underlying problem is more caused by the "zombie dad".

I was afraid of the interview with a family of three, especially the so-called "family" interview in which my powerful mother dragged my expressionless father to my office.

Some dads stared at me solemnly, silent from beginning to end, and regarded me as a romantic rival. I was afraid that during the interview he suddenly took out a pistol and shot me to death, or suddenly knocked me down with a heavy punch.

There are also some dads who cross their legs and fiddle with their mobile phones without looking at me and regard me as nothing.

Some dads, in the course of the interview, went out to answer the phone many times, answered it and then came back, and then went out again, never saying a word to me. I don't know if I was too busy at work or had a verbal conflict with others.

These fathers, in front of their wives and children, do look like "zombies", although they do not know whether they will "cheat corpses" in front of others.

It is the zombie dad that makes Mom and Mom miss mama's boy more and rely on mama's boy more, because this emotionally abandoned woman, besides mama's boy, where else can she use her relationship.

The son is the redemption.

Emotionally, I am closer to many mothers. I respect them, feel sorry for them, and hope that they will be happy. Even the most important understanding of my family interviews for studying abroad in recent years is that the moisture on the faces of middle-aged and elderly women is caused by the man around me. However, I still strongly hope that they will pay less attention to their children and take part of their time to live their own lives.

Because you want to be a role model for your children.

Two days ago, I saw that I caught an illegal nucleic acid organization whose boss used to study pigs.

I have a colleague, always by this organization nucleic acid, so out of anger.

But in the long world, do you feel that it is almost enough for us and pigs to live often? At that time, Cui Jian sang "that freedom is but not a prison". If a person cannot live out of spirit or self-soul and lacks vitality and interest as a person, what is the difference between a pig and a pig?

So mothers need to stubbornly and independently live their own highlights in both prosperity and adversity, to be vibrant, happy, winking and twittering, so that their sons can see how strong their mothers are, how respectable they live, and how much they live like individuals! So he will come alive when he grows up. He must be an attractive man.

It's painful not to be emotionally dependent. Emotional dependence is the outlet of feelings, our heart must have a place to put, but the child, you have to let him go after all.

I like cats very much because they are so cute. But I found that even if the cat is very cute, the mothers are very determined. The cat is born as soon as it is born, and most of the cases are very calm about the departure of the kitten. It seems that they understand very well that nature just borrows their bodies and gives birth to some other bodies that carry independent souls. The child must have his own world after all, and that world is his, not yours.