A STRANGER FOUND

It is dark and the damp air hangs heavy about me. I know what comes next, it is the sound of explosions and the bright light they cause. I tremble with fear and cower into the corner of the hill side. With each moment that passes the sound is louder and the flashes more intense; my heart beats faster. I feel the end is close and that any moment the explosion will be so close I will not be able to escape it. Through the brush I see a dark figure approaching. I pray, to save me from this peril. His hand reaches for me and then a sudden flash of light blinds me and his words are lost in the blast. My throat closes in fear and my scream silent as I suddenly sit up soaked in sweat, the covers tossed all about the bed. I hear my husband ask, “What’s wrong?” I tell him it was my usual recurring nightmare. Who was this faceless stranger coming to my rescue? I leaned back and put my head on the pillow hoping I would be able to relax enough to fall back asleep. All I could think of is why, why do I have this recurring nightmare. Later that morning I awoke and had a moment of clarity, I decided to find my father.

I called my mother and asked her if she had any idea how I would go about looking for my dad. She had left Harold when I was four years old. She got up one morning got dressed and dressed me in my nicest outfit. Then left the apartment she shared with my dad and got a cab to meet my future step-father. She never went back. Over the years we only had contact with Harold on several occasions. I was twenty-two now and I have not seen him since I was very young. I felt I had to put this dream to rest and the only way to do it was to find him. My mother said the only thing she thought would work was to contact an old friend of his on the island. She still had their number after all these years, the question was would it work.

I felt the panic setting in as the phone on the other end rang, but I was determined to follow through. Just as I thought the call would end a bright and cheerful voice rang out on the other end. It was Dotty and to my surprise I recognized her voice from years earlier. She and Tony still lived in the same place out on long Island. She immediately started to ramble on about how they moved but just across the street and how wonderful it was to hear from me. I finally got a chance to speak and told her that I wanted to contact my dad. Nothing could prepare me for what came next. With a shrill of excitement, she blurted out, “your timing is incredible!”. My dad was walking through her front door at that very moment.

Could this really be happening? I was overwhelmed as he got on the phone and we spoke for the first time in seventeen years. His voice was soft and his words so very kind and he was just as emotional as I was. We agreed to get together which would mean a trip to New York for me. I got off the phone and even though I was still shaking, I called my mother and told her about the arrangements. Without hesitation she offered to go along. I guess for her it was curiosity.

I had no idea what this meant for me.

The trip was uneventful but long enough to think about who I was about to meet. This was the man my mother lived with for six years. The man who gambled, drank, and cheated on my mother. Did I really need to seek out his friendship? On the other hand, he was my father and I never had the opportunity to know him. Was he still that same person or had the years changed him? My mother was very supportive of this mission of mine and surprisingly excited for the opportunity to see him again after all these years. It was late in the day when we arrived at my grandmother’s apartment in Astoria. Tomorrow was the big day. I don’t think I slept a wink that night.

The noon hour was fast approaching and I knew the door buzzer was going to ring any minute. I looked out the window and down on the street below was a tall man, a bit round, and bald. The buzzer rang. That’s him! I buzzed him in and waited at the door as he climbed the stairs. My heart was racing as I invited him in to my grandmother’s home. We greeted each other rather awkwardly. He immediately recognized and went over to my grandmother and gave her a hug. They both noted the years gone by and how they never kept in touch. I had to introduce him to my mother. Years changed them both and he had not recognized her. I stood frozen in thought…both my parents in the same room with me. It was a moment that till this day brings me to tears…I was whole, complete and in the presence of my parents. Dad and I spent the rest of the day together getting to know each other and the rest of our lives creating our memories. No regrets and no recurring dream.