A mother's "letter of repentance": it took me 17 years to educate my son into "depression".

"I was angry when I saw the child."

The 17-year-old son of a friend's family is what they call "karma".

I was tired of learning in the second year of high school. I dropped out of school at home for almost a semester. Because of the tendency of self-harm, the teacher also advised the child to receive treatment first.

The child himself said, it's not that I'm not out of school, I just need to adjust myself.

"well, even if you make an adjustment like yours, just let it be adjusted if others have good grades. Is there still room for adjustment in your grades?"

Every time children say what they really think, they are always greeted with such sarcasm from their parents.

One day I went to their house to play, it happened to be a Saturday, the child came back at seven o'clock in the evening, I smiled and asked him: what are you doing back so late?

Like an ordinary big boy, he said to me shyly and proudly:

I was always embarrassed to spend my parents' money at home, so I went to the auto show for a day's work, that is, to tell people about the vehicle price and selling points, and I could earn 80 yuan a day.

I was just about to praise him for his sense of independence, but before I could open his mouth, his mother's words came in the face:

"with your image and temperament, you still go to the auto show and don't go to school now, so you'll have to do this lowly job for the rest of your life."

Friends may think that going to work is inferior, or that the auto show is an indecent place, so they belittle the matter and satirize their son by the way.

After she said this, I saw with my own eyes the big boy, the light in his eyes dimmed, and went back to his room without saying anything.

Later, my friend tugged at my sleeve and secretly asked me:

Why is the child willing to talk to you? he never wants to talk to us at home. If he is willing to talk to you, can you talk about him and let him go to school?

Talk about depression every day, I think I just don't want to go to school. It is a sin to stand up to such a dishonorable child.

Parents feel that such children are sent by God to punish themselves, but they do not realize that the greater punishment is for a child to be born in such a family.

In an environment where parents call themselves "love", the child lives into an isolated island.

We always think that belittling is a kind of motivation, in fact, belittling is belittling, will not let a child catch up, will only let him be hit so that he can never raise his head.

"everything I do is wrong."

Some people always say that children in this era are too fragile and too glassy.

I can't bear to say a few bad words, and I don't accept the "discipline" of my parents.

But discipline and disparagement are really two different things.

Discipline is to really guide the child for the good, for the child to become better, while belittling is to control and vent, is self-righteous "for your own good".

Poisoned parents says that children will not distinguish between facts and jokes. They will believe what their parents say about them and turn them into their own ideas.

Those words to the children's ears, are the negation of their own efforts, trampling on their own dignity.

Parents' cruelty often lies in this. They take advantage of their children's trust to tear up their children's most precious things and ask them to step on them.

I read on the Internet that a child was forced into depression by his parents:

If there is less money in the family, the parents will think he stole it.

If his parents think he is not doing well, they will scold him for being unfilial, rebellious and deliberately against adults.

When he was in the second grade of primary school, his parents simply threw him out the door with his schoolbag and called him a "pig brain" and "die outside."

Even after learning that he was suffering from depression, his parents always showed him pictures of suicide in the news, saying that such people were hypocritical and their parents were so doting that they thought they were the center of the world. I can't stand the blow, so I might as well die.

Such parents may never know why their children are depressed.

No matter what children do is wrong, no matter what they do is a basin of cold water, then there is no hope for their lives.

It's not that children can't listen to bad words, and it's hard for them to accept, just because they come from their parents.

If parents don't love themselves, what kind of warmth will there be in the world?

Children don't have the heart to blame their parents, so they can only blame themselves and attack themselves.

External attacks are venting, internal attacks become depression.

Why do those parents like to belittle their children?

Hu Shenzhi, a psychological counselor, said:

Maybe you just want to criticize the child. when you say he has a pig brain, you don't really say that he is a pig brain, but the child's world is much purer. If you call him a pig brain, he may really think he is a pig brain for the rest of his life.

If you say that an individual is better than him, he may really think that an individual is better than himself; if you want him to die, he may really die.

Parents treat their children with adult thinking, thinking that humiliation is self-improvement, sarcasm is inspiration, and belittling is sincerity.

But children are so simple, in their eyes, humiliation is trampling, satire is abandoned, belittling is negative.

Parents see all the bad things about their children, and their children naturally feel so bad about themselves.

Shu Qi said in the documentary my time: I don't have a childhood. My childhood is too miserable.

The so-called "miserable" is not lack of food and clothing, but the blow and insult brought to her by her parents every day.

"your mouth is too big."

"how ugly you are!"

In this way, my mother always talks about it, and her parents know themselves in their words and know that they are such a bad person, ugly and unworthy of being loved.

From a small low self-esteem, from the original family brought out of the original inferiority complex, let her in the feelings and life, frequently frustrated.

Such parents do not really want to "kill" their children, but pay more attention to their sense of control.

A large number of criticisms are belittled in order to lower the child's self-esteem and make the child better "control". But such a child, easy to be dominated at the same time, but also lost their own recognition, as well as confidence in life.

Many parents, while expressing their disappointment, are afraid that their children will run away.

It is conceivable that if the child is full of shortcomings, then the parents will have the feeling of "savior", at least they will be able to control their children.

But if the child is very independent and good in all aspects, parents may face a great sense of loss and helplessness.

Parents are saying that they want their children to be good everywhere, but in action they are making them easy to control.

Parents with strong hearts know how to take care of their children's self-esteem.

I saw a story on the Internet. When a family member reached middle age, he recalled one of the most impressive things in his childhood.

He said, "I lost track of time when I was playing outside that night and got home very late. I thought my mother would scold me and satirize me.

But unexpectedly, my mother just asked me if I had dinner. When I said no, she turned around to bring me dinner.

One can remember this little thing for the rest of his life.

Because he felt that his parents would punish him emotionally and would belittle and abuse himself, but his parents gave him tolerance.

In fact, we take a closer look at ourselves. If a child does something wrong, we will "work" and enjoy ourselves by shouting and hurling abuse.

However, parents who are really strong in heart will restrain their emotions and use more ener