A Christmas I Don’t Remember Forgetting

There was poop and pee everywhere. On the floor, on the couch. Even a day later, and after a good cleanup, I was still finding poop in nooks and crannies. It even haunted me in my dreams. This is not a good way to start a story, I know, but given the theme of this writing challenge, I thought it best to give a preview where this is going. The events of this disastrous holiday gathering began so innocently, and as a result, I never could have foreseen such a revolting aftermath.

So let me start again, from the beginning. I lived an interesting childhood, now that I think about it. I grew up, not in my own home, but with my relatives, at my grandma’s house. Let me explain. When my dad left me, my mom and sister to work abroad, we ended up leaving our family home to live with my grandma at her house, which wasn’t that far away, if you had a car. I still wasn’t sure what the reason was for doing that, but my dad was a traditionalist, and so, he probably thought we would be safer at my grandma’s, where a lot of people lived, since he wasn’t around as the ‘man of the house’ of our own home. Crime had been a big worry at that time and my dad didn’t feel comfortable leaving me, my mom and sister all by ourselves at our house. So we all ended up living at my grandma’s.

We weren’t the only family living there. My uncle and his three sons also lived there while his wife, my aunt, also worked abroad. I’m not sure what their reason was for living at my grandma’s either, but from what I gathered, it wasn’t the same as ours. I think at that time, they were saving up for their own home.

Anyways, if you’re still with me through the set up of my story, then we’re just about to get to the good part. Christmases at my grandma’s are nothing short of epic. As a kid, the best Christmases were the ones with lots of people, because lots of people meant lots of gifts. For the past few Christmases, all I’ve wanted was a toy called Voltron. It was one of the most popular toys of that time. It was made up of five robotic lions that combine together to form one giant robot. I kept asking for this toy on my letters to Santa but for some reason, I kept getting something different. But I had a feeling that year that I was finally going to get what I wanted. I made sure I worded my letter to Santa carefully and to eliminate any possibility of error or misunderstandings. Then, I laid my letter on the tree and made sure it was in the most visible spot possible. It was foolproof. I was finally going to get Voltron.

All over the house, there was the hustle and bustle of preparations for Christmas. There were people cleaning the house from top to bottom. My grandma was in the kitchen, cooking up one epic Christmas feast. My mom and her siblings were there helping out. I was half-loitering, hoping to catch a taste of the food. They might have let me sneak in a few bites, because cooks sometimes need a taste-tester. As the day wore on, the preparations started to wrap up. We were asked to get dressed up for church. As a kid, I did not much enjoy this part of my family’s Christmas tradition. Mass was often long and I had to fight not to fall asleep. I did enjoy the carols that the choir sang, though. The end of the mass, for me, marked the beginning of the holiday festivities. As soon as we got home, everyone got to work to get dinner laid out and ready. It almost felt like a scene from a movie, and the action would’ve looked fantastic had it been filmed as a timelapse. Alas, everyone was too busy to record it. Dinner was amazing. As usual, my cousins ate faster than me and when they were done, they left me to go play video games or watch TV. Usually, I would not finish my meal so I could join them, but this was different. I would never pass up an awesome Christmas meal. After the meal, I would talk to my aunts and uncles, not too subtely dropping hints on what I really want for Christmas.

I had one last hurdle to jump through before I get to open my presents. We all had to sleep, for it was Christmas Eve and we had to allow for Santa to drop by the house and leave the presents underneath the tree. As usual, I had trouble sleeping, because I was always listening for Santa for the better part of the night. Eventually, I did fall asleep, and when I woke up, I was excited for what was in store on Christmas Day.

My cousins and I raced downstairs to where the presents were going to be, underneath the tree. But when we got there, the tree was bare of presents. Then, I noticed something else that was unusual. All around us were my aunts and uncles, gathered around the living room, with suspicious smiles on their faces. One of my aunts announced, “this year, things will be different. Instead of getting you all individual presents, your aunts and uncles all pitched in to get you kids something special.” As she finished saying that, one of my uncles dragged a few large boxes with holes in them into the room. Me, my sister and cousins all looked on in shock. Inside the boxes were rabbits of different sizes, scrambling to get out. My mom, aunts, and uncles all pitched in to give us pet rabbits for Christmas. They gave us kids, ranging from 4 to 7 years old, living pets to take care of. It took us a while to decide amongst ourselves who was getting which rabbit. The adults all “awwwed” as we each took turns taking our rabbits out. It was cute at first, until… the rabbits started running around the living room, pooping and peeing everywhere, while us kids did our best to chase after them. The elders gave us rabbit food and vegetables to feed the rabbits with, but feeding them seemed to make them poop and pee even more. As a kid, I was really sensitive to that stuff and it really bothered me to have the house all plastered with rabbit poop and pee. The adults barely bothered helping us clean up since the rabbits were our pets, they argued that it was our responsibility to cleanup after them. It took us most of the day to get the house back into shape. But us being kids, we weren’t able to do a very thorough job, so the next few days, we were still finding rabbit poop in odd places.

So there you have it - my holiday hijinks story. I did not get my Voltron toy, but I got something else, even more special. Rabbit poop and pee. Happy Holidays, y’all!