6 Tips for Happy Homework Family Time

How much homework is appropriate? The National PTA recommendations fall in line with general guidelines suggested by researcher Harris Cooper: 10-20 minutes per night in the first grade, and an additional 10 minutes per grade level thereafter.

Research Spotlight on Homework - NEA Reviews of the Research on Best Practices in Education

The recommendations cited above dictate that an 11-year-old child in 5th grade should have 50 minutes of homework each night. For many of today's families, this expectation is daunting. I hear again and again from parents who resent their limited family time being taken up with the stress, argument, and frustrations that come with homework.

"I have at most an hour and a half with my daughter each evening. The last thing I want to do is spend that time fighting with her or listening to her cry over homework!"

So many families these days struggle with limited time at home. Both parents work. Housing prices require working-class families to live on the outskirts of a metropolis so commutes home are often long. Often moms and dads don't get home until after 6:00 pm. Meanwhile, the child has been at afterschool daycare, where homework is not typically on the schedule. Once home there's dinner, family time, then bedtime routine and bed.

So how do we deal with the homework dilemma? I'm not an expert, but after raising three kids and enjoying 6 grandkids, I can share a few tips.

1. Homework and studying should happen wherever the family is hanging out.

The idea of a quiet place where the child always retires to for homework is outdated. Current research into how we learn dictates that studying in places where there are a lot of other sounds and activities might even help a student study and retain information, depending on their learning style. Being able to work in different locations—the dining room table, the living room floor, the hallway at the top of the stairs—can also empower your child by giving them choice.

And keep in mind that when sequestered alone in his bedroom, a child is not likely going to focus on schoolwork for very long. Certainly not a grade-school student. Keep your homework champion nearby so you can keep an eye on them and help them stay on task.

2. Get rid of that desk and set up a Homework Basket.

To create your "mobile homework area," you're going to need a basket with a handle. Fill it with all the tools your child needs for their homework. Pencils, sharpeners, rulers, erasers (I love the big white ones), pens, coloured pencils, little scissors, and felt pens. This is not only practical, but your child will love the idea of their "portable office." And they can help you keep it stocked. Now, wherever your little student chooses to do their homework, they can take the Homework Basket with them.

My youngest daughter is now in 4th-year university. Recently I visited her apartment and had to smile. By her bed was a basket full of all the tools she needed to do her studying.

3. Vary the times.

Children have different attention spans. Teaching them how to take breaks will help their studying throughout school. A break for a snack. A stand-up and stretch break. A break for a doggy or kitty cuddle.

4. Empower your student

Children love it when parents get involved and they love lists! Start the session by helping your child make a To-Do list. Then help them schedule in their breaks. Put the To Do list on the table (or floor) nearby and let them check off their To-Dos as they are completed. And special advice— always put "Extras" at the bottom of the list. These will be tasks the student can do if they feel like it after their To-Dos are over.

I found that sometimes, the list of homework was just too long. So I would suggest some of the work be put in the Extras area. That way the student has a choice and won't feel badly about themselves if they don't get it all done.

5. Work side by side

This is one of my most important tips. Work near your child, if not side by side. If they are at a table, sit with them and do some paperwork of your own. Even word searches, crossword puzzles or colouring pages will satisfy. I am an editor and would often edit papers while my daughter did her homework. Or I'd work on my scrapbooking, or poetry. A word of caution: don't work alongside on your phone or other digital device. Typically homework is done on paper and using books. Your parallel activity should be the same.

Working side by side will help your child develop a respect, and even love, for their work. It gives them the opportunity to ask you for help, show off their projects, and you'll be able to enjoy your time with them minus the tears and struggles.

6. Relax

Make homework time part of your family time. This means no judgment, threats, or anxiety! If your child is struggling with something and you're unable to help them (for whatever reason), reassure them that their teacher will be able to sort it out. That's what a teacher is for!

Then, after your child has gone to bed, sit down and write a short email to their teacher explaining the difficulties.