21 things to try while you are waiting for labour to begin (updated)

Maybe your “due date” is approaching. This post is for you. Maybe it’s come and gone, and you’re still here, still pregnant. This post is for you. Maybe you’re fed up of being pregnant, or impatient to meet your baby. Or maybe you're revelling in these final days of pregnancy. Maybe you have been booked for an induction and maybe this is a source of relief for you (finally!!) or maybe it is causing you anxiety. Maybe you would prefer to decline it. Basically, if your pregnancy is almost over, this post is for you.

Lately, I've been thinking of all the women who reach 40 weeks and beyond.

I am thinking of all the new ways we've got now to ask them, "Have you had that baby yet?" The world and his wife are probably asking you that question, and I am here to tell you it is okay to want to hit those people in the face with a jumbo box of baby wipes.

Text. "Any movement?" Facebook. "Any twinges?" Messenger. "Still in one piece?" Instagram. "omg your huge!" Twitter. WhatsApp. Telegram. Tiktok. Carrier pigeon. You're probably expecting a fax any minute.

I'm thinking of all the ways they are denied a feeling of safety or normalcy - precisely the state we need for labour to begin smoothly and uninhibited. (Please note: your labour will begin anyway - I promise! Its onset is inevitable. The process is robust and so are you. It can be delayed, but it can't be prevented.)

I'm thinking of the women who worry they will "risk out" of their chosen care plan if they don't go into labour by ____.

I'm thinking of how, sometimes, I lie in bed and think "if I go to sleep RIGHT NOW I'll get nearly five hours..." but the more pressure I put on myself to drop off, the more it eludes me.

I'm thinking of pots, and being watched, and not boiling.

I'm thinking of the care offered to these women at all levels, and how it could be better.

What were those final days like for you? What did you need to make them easier before you baby arrived? What do you wish someone had said to you instead of "have you had that baby yet?"

I know. I get it. This stage of pregnancy can be hard. Do not feel guilty if you hate it. If you are feeling resentful, grumpy, weepy, restless, lethargic… well it sucks, I know – but it’s okay to feel those things. Be gentle with yourself. These are often the first (un-noticed, unsung, ignored) symptoms of early labour. Keep that in mind. Remember this, too: There is no such thing as the Pregnancy Police that go around scolding naughty women who don’t savour every last drop of pregnancy, down to the last second. There is ebb and there is flow. Allow yourself the ebb.

That said, there are ways to make those final days more bearable, with a particular view to making timely spontaneous onset of labour more likely.

Every time someone tells me that they are so close now, and so tired/fed up/anxious…. that they can’t wait for the induction, or they are dreading it…. I always say the same things. In the interest of lazi- erm, efficiency, I’ve decided to put them all here.

1. If at all possible, prioritise rest, relaxation, recuperation, pampering etc for the next couple of days. Do you have someone who can nurture and take care of you during this time? That would be ideal.

2. Try a fear release. I was skeptical, if I’m honest, but I was amazed at how much it helped.

3. Ask your partner or a friend to do some bump sifting to release trapped fluid or tight ligaments. It also just feels good, which by itself is a plenty good enough reason to do it.

4. Stay hydrated. I cannot stress this enough! Eat yummy things, because why the fffffuck not.

5. Take gentle walks. Go easy – no sense wearing yourself out at this stage!

6. Lots of orgasms. Daily. These can be solo, or not.

7. Binge watch all the things on Netflix. If you have a birth ball to sit on, so much the better. Feel free to fidget. I believe cake is mandatory.

8. Watch a movie that will make you cry your eyes out (release!) or belly laugh (oxytocin!)

9. Cuddle

10. “Talk” to your baby, even if that sounds or feels crazy.

11. Do something that makes you feel ready – go over your birth plan, do some finishing touches in nursery if you have one, make sure your birth bag is packed and labour playlist compiled. Do you find yourself nesting? (I wish I did!)

12. Do whatever makes you feel good – swear, get your hair/nails done, meditate, dance, have sex if that is still a viable option for you - but only if you want to and it feels good!

14. Intimacy is your greatest tool for releasing oxytocin, and potentially your best comfort. Sex is one way of being intimate - it combines the right movements, positions, and hormones to encourage things in the right direction. But it is not the be-all end-all, and for some women it's contraindicated. It could be long hugs, slow dancing, massage, shared meals. Dim the lights. Speak softly.

15. Kiss. It softens your jaw.

16. Right now, you are literally at your most creative. Distract yourself by writing (journal, blog, story, poem), drawing, painting, photography. These things are also helpful if you have a long latent phase. I think of them as “last minute memories”. Think of showing them to your little one a few years down the line. “When I was pregnant with you…” Start a project. There is some twisted universal law that says the more involved the project is, the more likely that labour will get going once you’ve made a start on it.

17. It is possible, or even likely, that labour has begun already, it’s just not making itself felt quite yet. Remind yourself of this.

18. Repeat after me: My body is working beautifully. I am ready. I am safe. I am already opening. My cervix is like butter left out in the sun on a hot day.

19. Slow down. Pause. Smell the roses. When you feel rushed or stressed, your adrenalin levels are high, which is not conducive to labour starting or progressing efficiently. Breathe gently.

20. Be mindful of your positioning – sit up and forward on your seat bones rather than sofa-sitting, rest on your side rather than your back, etc. Rotate your body. Dance if you feel like it.

21. Sod literally everything else. Be selfish. You don’t have to do anything for anyone right now, this is (should be) **your time**. You are on the brink of a bloody miracle, during which you will give it your all. So get your diva pants on and TAKE for a little while, entirely guilt-free.

Good luck! Happy birthing xx

PS. Apologies the woman pictured doesn't look fed up enough to really fit the post!

__________________

I offer 1:1 pre-labour relaxations. Don't believe anyone who tells you that they can start your labour for you! At best all you can do is cause contractions. This will do nothing but wear you out, unless your cervix is soft enough to respond to them. To put it another way, nothing is going to work unless you are already ready.

What we can do is do our best to make sure nothing is holding you back. Gentle techniques to increase comfort levels, create space for your baby to move, release trapped fluid and tight ligaments. We can address concerns and stressors as much as possible, and nurture feelings of safety, connection, and confidence. Along the way, we can help you achieve a state of deep relaxation.

https://pregnancyclassesshrewsbury.company.site/Pre-labour-Relaxation-Relax-&-Release-p544847678