What being a teacher REALLY means

If you ask any teacher, more likely than not, they’ll tell you that being a teacher is one of the most rewarding jobs in the world. The relationships formed with children are priceless and watching the spark in a child’s eye after they have understood a concept you’ve imparted onto them will make your heart fly.

If you ask any teacher, more likely than not, they’ll also tell you that there are many things about the “job” that no one can prepare you for. Years of study cannot come close to the experience of what it’s like to actually be in the classroom, in and amongst the children themselves.

In light of the COVID-19 pandemic, and the absolutely heroic way that teachers around the globe have risen to the occasion, I was inspired to write a simple, light-hearted guide to what it REALLY means to be a teacher.

Note: All teachers are different and the following is but a general guide, written primarily with the intention of making you smile 😊

1. Aside from being a professional within the classroom, it is inevitable that you will become a professional at fixing printers

The words “paper jam” will ring in your ears and haunt you in your sleep.

You’ll try ask for help at first, but the printer will jam ONLY when:

• There’s no one else around to assist
• You’re in a rush
• You have exams to print for a deadline
• You haven’t printed enough (for no reason, because you know by heart the exact number of learners in every single one of your classes)

You’ll become creative with it as well. Open and close tray. Open and close paper feed. Check toner. PAPER JAM.

As you shove your arm deep within the heart of the printer, colors splattering everywhere, you’ll rip and tear paper, one inch at a time. The loud beeping of the printer will taunt you as you silently pray for a miracle.

You’ll also feel super guilty that you’re causing a scene in front of the hard-working school secretary who has to deal with all the things in the world, and now the paper jam you have so selfishly caused.

This is when the bell will ring, another dreadful noise, calling you to your next lesson.

2. You’ll surprise yourself with how many things you can actually carry at once

Worksheets, books, bag, marking, whiteboard pens, pencil case, jersey over the shoulder, coffee mug… (NB!)

3. You’ll surprise yourself with how many things you can actually remember

• Prepare PowerPoint for upcoming lessons
• Print worksheets for upcoming lessons
• Be creative and innovative for upcoming lessons
• Make coffee
• Check emails
• Greet and welcome children
• Take register
• Engage with children
• Make sure they’re okay
• Make sure they’re having a good morning
• Make sure they feel healthy and safe
• Put out the fires the lively ones are causing
• Set the tone for the day
• Explain themes and events for the week
• Explain sports fixtures
• Make a note of children behaving strangely
• Follow up on yesterday’s red flags
• Check emails
• Teach lesson one:

 Welcome + recap

 Give lesson

 Answer questions

 Explain activity

 Be actively involved in activity

 Correct + positive feedback as you go

 Explain homework

 Explain why we need to do homework

 Convince the groans that there is benefit to homework

• Make coffee
• Check emails
• Make notes in diary from emails
• Assembly
• Prepare for whatever extra-curricular activity you are involved in that afternoon
• Organize food for *Kyle because he forgot his lunch/tuck shop money (even if that means giving up your own lunch)
• Check in with *Stacy because you know her and *Andrew broke up this weekend and she seemed down in registration (even though they were only dating for 5 days)
• Ask *Joey why he didn’t walk with his best friend to Lesson 1
• Explain to *Sara why cutting her dress to make it shorter is inappropriate
• Departmental meeting:

 Receive exam timetable

 Have mini panic attack

 Power through

• Lesson Two
• Etc... etc.… etc.…

4. You will be shocked at how much you could possibly care about children who are not your own – especially because, at first, they’re just… people

Each and every child will consume your thoughts.

You’ll think about them, even at 3 o’ clock in the morning, wondering whether or not *Frankie did well in the rugby match after school that he was nervous about.

You’ll constantly be worrying about all the relationship dynamics within the classroom – if only *James could realize that it’s more important to learn the difference between simple, compound and complex sentences than it is to impress *Ashley by trying to be funny (!)

During the holidays, walking on the beach having a cocktail with your friend, a sudden, flashing thought of a child will pop up. I wonder if *Connor is having a good time in Italy with his family, you’ll think.

One rude comment from a child will ruin your entire day/week/month/year. You’ll learn to forgive and forget immediately because the heartbreak just isn’t worth it.

5. Things you’ll (awkwardly) have to say to parents (cringe!):

"I’m aware she doesn’t act like that at home *Mrs. Johnson but I can assure you that is was *Piper who threw her water bottle at *Jesse’s head.”

“Brace yourself, because this is what your son has scribbled all over his exam paper…”

“Yes, *Mr. Watts, your daughter did get 14% for her test. And that’s because she told me to my face she would rather watch Netflix than study for my “stupid” subject.”

"Hi *Mrs. Rodriguez, since you haven’t responded to my thirteenth email, I am leaving my fifth voice message. *Carla hasn’t been to any extra lessons this term. Please respond. Thank you.”

“No, unfortunately we cannot rearrange the entire school’s timetable because your son doesn’t like his art teacher’s style”.

6. Things you’ll repeat to the children over and over and over (and over) again:

In the classroom

“Please sit down.”

“Please don’t talk while I’m talking”

“Please put your hand up if you have something to contribute so that we all don’t speak at once.”

“Yes, your homework is due today.”

“No, we cannot cancel exams this year.”

“…Because Shakespeare’s writing has fundamental life lessons that are highly metaphorical and may assist you in understanding some of life’s more complex relationships…”

“Please write in full sentences.”

“Because is not enough of an explanation for 8 marks.”

“Yes, you may go to the bathroom”

“Why are you late?”

“Please tuck in your shirt.”

“Please put your phone away (!!!)”

“Yes, you can borrow a pen from my stationary box for the sixteenth time this week”

“Please don’t rock on your chair.”

“Please put your shoes back on………..”

“Please put those scissors down”

Remote Learning

“You’re on mute.”

“Please turn your camera off.”

“If we all shared what we ate for breakfast, we would have zero time for the actual lesson.”

“Please try not to talk when I am talking.”

“Someone’s feedback is deafening the whole class.”

“Your mic is on and we can hear your entire conversation.”

“Please turn your camera on so I can see what you are showing me.”

“Please put your hand up if you want to ask a question.”

“Please only put your hand up if the question is relevant to the topic at hand.”

“No, unfortunately, we cannot discuss the events of Love Island at the moment.”

“Yes, you may go to the bathroom.”

“Yes, you may have a sip of water.”

“Yes, you may stand up to stretch your legs.”

“No, the chat cannot be used for personal conversations.”

“No, you cannot answer my question with emojis.”

7. And finally, the things the children and the parents say that keep you coming back to school after the holidays…

“Ohhhh, I get it now.”

“Miss/sir, you’ve changed my life. I will never forget you.”

“Thank you. I never would have coped if my son didn’t have your help this year.”

“I only passed because you believed in me.”

“Your words of encouragement are what gave my daughter the confidence to enter…”

“We love you sir/miss.”

______________

It sounds absolutely cliché’ to say so, but every child really does hold a place inside the heart of a teacher. It’s the hilariously quirky (and usually very random) comments, the fun personality traits that develop over time, the children that step up when another child bails on your major production at the last minute, the parent who volunteers to help at the public speaking evening, the kind student who offers to carry your books because you look like Cat in the Hat holding thing on top of thing on top of thing.

It’s the times you’re having a bad day and the children pick up on it and tell you a joke (even a bad one) just to cheer you up. The learners who understand and accept when you say, “Actually, I don’t know the answer to that." The child who rocks his class speech even though you know how shy he is. The child who passes your exam because she’s studied really hard. The parent who forgives you for being late to the meeting because she understands…

Being a teacher is so much more than imparting knowledge.

To all the teachers who stepped up during a time of crisis, Thank You.

*All names are not based on real people