Let's Talk About Sex

“Where do babies come from?”

I had just put a fork full of dinner in my mouth when my nine-year-old asked me. I finished chewing and dove right in.

“When a person with a penis puts it into a vagina and ejaculates, they can conceive a baby,” I said.

“What’s ejaculation?” The conversation continued, and we covered topics ranging from HIV/AIDS to outercourse, known as masturbation. I encouraged them to explore their body as much as they would like in his bedroom's privacy. It is always the best part of my day, so I assured him it is safe, healthy, and entertaining. Just kidding, I only have time for about once a week.

Sex is such a massive part of our lives, something many of us don’t want to live without. I remember learning about pregnancy in sex ed class, along with some other basics, and I felt informed until I worked for the city of Rochester. Bilel Smith, the supervisor of RISE, a third-party sex education program offered by the Recreation Department, taught me the language I need to communicate effectively with my son by meeting him where he is. I was lucky enough to help him facilitate a few lessons. It’s intelligent, robust, and honest.

If we want our kids to be able to protect themselves, we need to offer them the tools and a curriculum stressing abstinence focuses on what not to do, leaving students at greater risk of harm and more likely to have unprotected sex (Goldfarb, 2021). Implementing a comprehensive sexual education (CSE) with culturally responsive, trauma-informed, and sex-positive information is something we can change, and it has never been more important for the sexual health of our community. These are all aspects of sexual health, and they seamlessly integrate into our lives.

By 15 years old, about a quarter of youth have had vaginal sex, and by age 17, this increases to almost half. This age group acquires half of all new sexually transmitted disease (STD) infections but represents only about 25% of the sexually active population (Bleakley, 2006).

Abstinence programs have a profoundly negative impact on the well-being of youth, including the LGBTQIA+ minority, and some states even encourage LGBTQIA+ discrimination (SIECUS, 2022). This directly violates rights outlined in Title IX (The White House, 2021), profoundly impacting the well-being of youth LGBTQIA+ youth (Santelli, 2017).

Self-rooted Oppositional Sexual Warfare

The government approaches sex education from an abstinence point of view, contributing to human rights and ethical violation concerns, directly opposing a Government's obligation to provide their citizens with accurate information. Access to comprehensive sexual health information is a human right and vital to attaining a high quality of life (Santelli, 2017).

Comprehensive Sexual Education (CSE) teaches kids the skills they need to manage their sexual health properly and includes:

Consent—Empowering youth to support their right to consent stabilizes the imbalance.

Communication—Healthy relationships begin with open and honest exchanges, highlighting respect and humility.

Birth Control—Information and access to contraception can prevent unplanned teenage pregnancies.

Condoms—They are Inexpensive, widely available, and require the least amount of planning for use. Condoms are highly effective at preventing STI/STDs and pregnancy and are the only form of contraception that does both.

STI/STD Prevention—The dangers of spreading STIs and STDs through unprotected sex can open the door to a public health crisis.

Sexual Orientation and Identity—Acceptance of one another’s sexual desires and the freedom to pursue them individually carries a host of physical, emotional, and societal advantages.

Parents believe a sex education curriculum with topics including sexual diversity, intimate partner violence prevention, healthy relationship skills, child sex abuse prevention, and social/emotional skills should be covered (Kantor, 2017). Media literacy and acceptance of LGBTQIA+ sexual identity and orientation offer a social justice approach to healthy sexuality, pillars of a comprehensive curriculum (Goldfarb, 2021).

Communicating our needs to our intimate partner and acceptance of sexual identity and orientation are the things we should all be practicing regularly. Respecting the limitations of every relationship is essential; without that, kids are at risk for problems in and out of the bedroom.

A comprehensive program can help teens reduce the number of partners, delay the initiation of intercourse, and reduce the frequency of both protected and unprotected sex (Bleakley, 2006). This could be especially beneficial to the LGBTQIA+ community, as the rate of risky sexual behaviors is more than 4x non-LGBTQIA+ teens. LGBTQIA+ teens are searching for authentic self-expression after being rejected by friends and family, which sometimes results in transactional sex (McCormick, 2018).

Educating and empowering youth in the community to take control of their sexual health through education is the first step to what could be a radical transformation of society. Teaching the principles of consent removes power imbalances fueling sexual harassment and assault because anything other than an affirmative “Yes” should be considered a “No.”

Communication skills can reduce intimate partner abuse by teaching kids to expect reciprocation and hold respect in all of their relationships. Body autonomy teaches us our bodies are ours only and to tell trusted adults when that is being violated until someone listens, and how HIV can take up to 6 months to show up on a test. When all this change is put together, it is greater than the sum. These principles can shift how we interact and encompass many aspects of our lives.

Join the effort!

Find more information about how to get involved in Sex Education Policy change at the Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States website (SIECUS.org).

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Carrie Principe is a Social Work Student in the master’s program at SUNY Brockport with a passion for educating people on the critical aspects of implementing a Comprehensive Sexual Education Curriculum to empower every child in the community with the knowledge to protect their sexual health.

References

Bleakley A, Hennessy M, Fishbein M. Public Opinion on Sex Education in US Schools. Arch Pediatr Adolesc Med. 2006; 160(11):1151–1156. doi:10.1001/archpedi.160.11.1151

Goldfarb, E. S., Ph.D. Lieberman, L. D. Ph.D. Three Decades of Research: The Case for Comprehensive Sex Education. Journal of Adolescent Health. 68 (2021) 13e27. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jadohealth.2020.07.036

Kantor L, Levitz N (2017) Parents’ views on sex education in schools: How much do Democrats and Republicans agree? PLoS ONE 12(7): e0180250. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0180250

Power to Decide. 2020. Teen Birth Rate Among Girls Age 15-19. Accessed 9/22/2023. <https://powertodecide.org/what-we-do/information/national-state-data/teen-birth-rate>

Santelli, J. S., M.D., M.P.H. Kantor, L. M., Ph.D., M.P.H. Grilo, S. A., M.A. Speizer, I. S., Ph.D. Lindberg, L. D., Ph.D. Heitel, J., M.P.H. Schalet, A. T., Ph.D. Lyon, M. E., Ph.D. Mason-Jones, A. J., Ph.D., M.P.H.McGovern, T., J.D. Heck, C. J., M.P.H. Rogers, J., M.P.H. and Ott, M. A., M.D. Abstinence-Only-Until-Marriage: An Updated Review of U.S. Policies and Programs and Their Impact. Journal of Adolescent Health. 61 (2017) 273e280. dx.doi.org/10.1016/j.jadohealth.2017.05.031

Sexual Information and Education Council of the United States (SIECUS). 2022. 2022-Sex-Ed-State-Law-and-Policy-Chart. Accessed September 22, 2023. < https://siecus.org/state-profiles/>

The White House. 2021. Executive Order on Guaranteeing an Educational Environment Free from Discrimination on the Basis of Sex, Including Sexual Orientation or Gender Identity Title IX white house. Accessed 9/22/2023. <https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/presidential-actions/2021/03/08/executive-order-on-guaranteeing-an-educational-environment-free-from-discrimination-on-the-basis-of-sex-including-sexual-orientation-or-gender-identity/>