“How Did You Waste Your 20s?” (6 Answers)

Most of us have some regrets in life. No matter how well we’re doing at the moment, we sometimes wish we could have done something differently in the past. Pursuing another career, having a different sort of relationship, taking better care of one’s health, and living with more courage… that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

In a very candid and vulnerable online thread, the members of the r/AskReddit online community spilled the tea about what they did that made them feel like they ‘wasted’ their 20s. Scroll down to read their thoughts.

Bored Panda wanted to find out more about dealing with our regrets in a healthy way, so we reached out to Jodi Wellman, MAPP, who was kind enough to answer our questions. Wellman is a speaker, author, and leadership coach, as well as the founder of the ‘Four Thousand Mondays’ project, which aims to help people make the most of their lives. You'll find the insights she shared with us as you read on.

Number 01

Being too shy.

To anyone younger reading this, TAKE RISKS! Ask that person out. Go to that local event you’ve been eyeing. Strike up a conversation with a cool-looking stranger. Get up on stage at a karaoke night. Volunteer. Join a club.

Life is not a movie and there is no magical special person that will notice you and come pull you into the light. You have to do that yourself.

Number 02

Fighting endless wars, Somalia, Afganistan, Iraq, Syria, and everywhere else around the world. Wasted my 20s, all my 30s and half my 40's fighting. For what you ask? I have no idea now.

Number 03

Too scared of my parents to stand up to them and live life how I want.

Wellman told us that, in her research, she's found that the best way to "savor and appreciate" life is to practice 'memento mori'—"to remember that we must die."

"It's only when we tune into how finite we really are that we snap out of autopilot and stop taking our days for granted. I get people counting how many Mondays they have left to live (it's way less morbid than it sounds)," she told Bored Panda.

"They can use my calculator here if math feels unfun. Tune into that countdown timer, and, all of a sudden, we want to book that trip to Iceland!” she urged everyone to be more active in living life to the fullest.

Number 04

No ambition. Lack of foresight. No goals.

I spent so much time stressing out about my future that I never actually lived in the present.

Number 05

I did a PhD. The first time I made more than $30k in a year, I was 31 years old. F**k academia.

Number 06

Thing about your twenties is, no matter how you spent it, you'll wonder about the other path.

Party, get wasted, spend everything you earn travelling the world, you'll wish you'd been more studious and built better foundations.

Study hard, work diligently, build good foundations, you'll wish you'd partied and had more fun like the others did.

The reality is that it is impossible to live ‘perfectly’ (whatever that might mean to us personally). All of us mess up. No matter who we are and how talented we might be, sooner or later we all do something we regret. In fact, you could even argue that life is all about making mistakes and then learning from them. It’s a core part of learning and growth.

However, if we obsess about our imperfections and past mistakes, this can eat away at us, affecting our health, relationships, and careers. The healthy and mature thing is to embrace what’s happened and then make better decisions in the future.