Edu...huh??

When I was in elementary school (grades k-5), I actually didn't mind school. I certainly wasn't a fan of having to go sit in a classroom all day, but I enjoyed seeing my friends and I loved most of my teachers. Middle school came around (grades 6-8) and as the work got harder, my interest in doing that work became less and less. Now, doing homework and taking notes definitely was not my strong suit but I could pass a test with flying colors without the studying because I just remembered the information from classes. High School hit (grades 9-12) and I couldn't stand being in school anymore. I loved my friends and the teachers, but I hated the work, especially math. Graduating from high school was one of the biggest achievements of my life but I knew I didn't want to go to college right away, or maybe ever.

I was offered a job as a nanny that I really wanted to take, but my mom hit me with an ultimatum and told me that if I wanted to have this job, I needed to also go to college. I failed my first semester and lost my nanny job because I couldn't handle all of it at once. I still tried a second semester but changed my major and did a little bit better, but I still did not do well and failed again. I knew college was not for me, I knew I would rather be working and building my life, my way. After failing my second semester, I was put on academic suspension and I chose not to go back when my suspension had lifted because I was not interested in college in the slightest and I didn't have an ultimatum hanging over my head this time. I had to have a job the whole time because I had bills I had to pay for and I threw myself into my work more and more. I worked so much that friends stopped inviting me to do things because they knew I would either be working or sleeping for work the next day.

I had been hired at McDonald's a few days after the new owners took over that store. I never thought I would take a fast food job so seriously, but I actually really liked working there. After about 5 months, I had become a shift manager, something I was very proud of and ended up working even harder in this new position. I got to the point where I was working about 60 hour weeks, not because I needed more money outside of my regular paycheck, but because I truly loved what I was doing and the owners were promising me the moon if I kept working hard. I had gone to classes that were needed for management, I watched training videos at home between shifts. I came in early, stayed late and rarely took a day off. It wasn't until the spot for GM was given to someone younger than me and that hadn't been there as long as I had. They promised me the next GM opening, which happened to be at their other store location, so I accepted the offer, headed down to the other store and worked with the current GM that I was supposed to be taking over for. When it was time for the new GM to be appointed, they gave the position to someone I had trained myself; at that point I knew I couldn't continue working there.

After these events, I did go back to McDonald's numerous times and ended up being there on and off for 8 years of my life. It wasn't until I moved to Texas and back that I made it my goal to never go back into fast food if I could avoid it at all. I did, however, try to go back to school a few times. After my academic suspension, my financial aid was suspended as well, so I would have to pay for college out of pocket, and as someone living paycheck to paycheck, I certainly wouldn't be doing that, so I put off college again. I worked numerous jobs in management positions and still hadn't found what I wanted to do fully. Eventually, in 2018, I had tried to go to college with all online classes, and I was doing well for a while. When my marriage fell apart and I spiraled into depression, that is when I new for sure that college wasn't on my list of priorities and I dropped out for the final time.

I know now that I do not want to try again, but I do have a lot of interests, so I am finding courses I can take here and there to feed those interests and help me gai knowledge in various areas. First and foremost, I am taking a class in creative writing, though I feel I am a fairly decent writer as is, I want to be better. I have been writing for as long as I can remember and, though I have definitely grown in my writing, I still have room to improve and I plan on doing so.