Challenges of Masculinity

It is not easy to be a male child. It is even harder to be a man. Growing up in an environment with a clear contrast between male and female roles made it necessary to fill the shoes of masculinity early in childhood. I remember how upset I would get if someone insulted me. The pain was so intense that I would start shaking, trying to hold back the tears that forced their way out. I felt a sharp pain in my heart, cutting deep. If I couldn't contain it any longer, I would go to my room and hit or break something inconspicuous, like a pen, all to avoid showing emotion. Little did I know that I was slowly becoming toxic. This was common among the boys I knew. Some would let their emotions get the best of them and create a public nuisance, while others would hide it and later display their madness in private.As young boys, we were all given these roles to play, ways to act, and emotions to feel. Failing to abide by these meant being called feminine, a label every boy hated. I would rather be called a dog than a girl. I experienced trauma from being made to join the girls' running team as a boy. I hated being compared to a girl in any way. This was probably why I resented my dad as a kid. He often compared me to a girl or called me feminine if I spent too much time dressing up or was sluggish. All this created a mix of emotions and ideologies in my head.Boys are told things like "man up" or "men don’t cry." Sometimes, this helps because our parents believe they are preparing us for a harsh world. Men are meant to be the providers and protectors of their families, so basically, they are telling us, "You will face tougher things, so stop crying." But a lot of boys have suffered from this mentality. This generation is arguably the worst for teenagers' mental health. Social media has also added significant salt to the wound that Gen Z is finding hard to heal.You might be wondering what this has to do with toxic masculinity. We live in an era where children and teens don't rely solely on their parents for life advice or support. They have their movie parents and internet parents. These "parents" describe how to act and live life, not realizing that much of what they say or do affects youths badly. It is especially hard for boys, who have the harshest internet parents, to be forced to hold it all in when they are crumbling inside. Speaking out is considered weak or feminine.Most of the advice from their internet parents is to go to the gym, as if it is some form of therapy. It has become so pathetic that most boys think that listening to music will take the pain away. Music can elevate one's mood, but like any other source of dopamine, the feeling or "vibe" fades away. Drake or Frank Ocean will not always be there to save the day, but boys don’t care—they'd rather stuff it in than seek help.