#BamaRush And #RushTok Remind Me Of How Fragile College Girls Are

Do you remember what life was like in college for you? I do. I still have trauma from it. Monmouth University is filled with shit people that left me with a deep-seated hatred of all things preppy for years.

It took me a long time to overcome my prejudice against those who wear Brooks Brothers and Abercrombie. Lately, I’ve even started to connect with my inner prep school kid.

Once in a while, I’ll find some media that really makes me see a side of the clean-cut world that makes me realize my shaggy ass might have more in common with them than I thought.

Such was the case with #BamaRush and #RushTok.

I recently got into a weird rabbit hole involving #BamaRush.

For those not in the know, it’s a documentary about what it’s like to rush (erm, join) a sorority at the University of Alabama. It is a wild ride involving personal stories from each girl, discussions about the elitism in the Greek system, and the extreme measures you go through to be pledged.

While I could talk about how shadowy the Greek “Machine” secret society is, the truth is that I really focused in on how much the girls had to do to prove themselves to total strangers.

These days, the phenomenon of #RushTok, or the viral content surrounding the world of Greek life and sorority rushes, is a major movement online. And you know what? It’s fascinating.

What does it take to be a sorority member these days?

Alabama seems to be the head of sorority life in America, where the entire campus is controlled by Greek life. Their recruitment, from what I gather, is Greek life on steroids. Here’s what they had to do:

• They had to register ahead of time. You also have to pay $400 to just register to rush at U of A. What the fuck, bro?
• They had to be grilled on the philanthropy they’ve done as teenagers. For me, that was basically a big ol’ nothingburger. (No, wait, I did some candy striping in a hospital before I got depressed because people were just not willing to talk to me.)
• They had to submit a sorority resume. Yes, they actually had to stack a resume with social events and credits that show that they are “with it.”
• They also had to be interviewed by all the houses, party with them, and show TikToks of their rush experiences. Some of those TikToks are kind of insane. Like, they do social media posts of every outfit they wear to rush.
• Oh, and they had to get their hair done daily and also show every article of clothing. Apparently, it’s mostly about the clothing and outfits. If you can flaunt your money, you’ll likely get a spot in the Panhellenic world.
• Many also hire women known as “rush coaches” to help get ready for their bid. The fact that there is a whole industry devoted to getting picked for a social club that you have to pay over $4,000 a semester for is alarming on so many levels.

I want to remind you that all of this shit is just so that they can be accepted into a group of people. That’s it. If it were about philanthropy, they could do that solo. If it were about the house, they could rent a luxury apartment with roomies. Nope, it’s just for acceptance into a social club.

What broke my heart was how many of the interviewees were desperate for acceptance.

Throughout much of the #BamaRush documentary, girls were repeatedly asked to confront their reasoning for why they rushed. It all kept coming down to acceptance, friendship, and honestly…things that are fairly universal in their own right.

Their reasons for wanting to join a sorority weren’t about money and power. They were there because they didn’t really have much of an idea how to find that group. They, like most other women their age, felt a need for belonging and identity.

Throughout the process, I watched the girls bend and twist themselves into a more marketable person. They were looking to be accepted for who they were, by being someone they weren’t. Does anyone else see how predatory this entire process looks to be?

“We love you, just don’t stand out too much.” — Basically the Message from Greek Life

Time and time again, I saw girls get coached on how to answer questions, how to style their hair, and how to work out to be more appealing. At one point, a coach basically said that you shouldn’t “give them a reason to drop you” by staying too outside the standard.

The girls noticed and remarked on it. It’s heartbreaking to see how much these girls were doing all this performative femininity and “falling into line” just to feel accepted by people who should have no say in how they feel about themselves.

Alabama Greek life is hyper-cutthroat for all the wrong reasons. And it’s even more fucked up when you realize that some of these girls have already internalized their entire identity as a specific sorority member before they even rushed.

Then there’s the act of blacklisting, where the council all decide to tell the girl she’s not welcome in any house. You can be blacklisted after you pledge for wearing the wrong sticker or having girls complain about you to the Panhellenic. That’s a huge #fuckyou.

So far for sisterhood, am I right?

They also openly admitted that sororities were ranked by how hot the fratboys thought they were.

As someone who actually supports beauty pageants as a form of performance, I understand that beauty can be a project or a hobby — just as much as a performance thing. I loved being in pageants and I love my pageanteers!

The problem here, though, is that Greek life is *not* a beauty pageant. It’s not supposed to be a competition about matching a specific aesthetic. The system is basically designed to market vulnerable women to a bunch of fratboys.

Beauty pageants are (contrary to popular belief) not about the male gaze. They are a very specific culture of their own that is about networking with women who have very specific hobbies, passions, and goals in life.

With beauty pageants, particularly with teens and adult pageants, the women are in control. It is a woman’s pageant that is all about making connections, celebrating one another, and adding prestige to your resume.

While sorority girls may think they’re in control, they are not. Whether they realize it or not, sorority girls are treated like products that men can access if they rush Alpha Sigma Sigma.

A sorority’s rank will collapse if fratboys don’t want to date them or if they stop interacting with fraternities. A pageanteer’s crown will still be on her head if she doesn’t find a spouse. See the difference?

In a way, many of these girls struck a chord with me.

At first glance, I have nothing in common with these girls. Greek life, for me, was always a “what if” thing. The sorority girls on campus hated my goth ass, and I basically was left to wonder what life would have been like if I had my own #girlgang back the

When I was their age, I was desperate for my own group of people. Much like them, I wanted my own identity that just felt right. And while I ended up rejected by everyone and running to traffickers, they…went Greek.

The core thing I saw there was a bunch of girls who were begging, pleading for someone to like them. They were girls who were desperate for acceptance in a world that pushed them to perform just to be seen as worthy.

For all the benefits they claim to get from these houses, they sure seem to sacrifice a lot to get them. And goddamn, does the pressure to conform seem to hurt more than help.

Much like how I was failed by my school ignoring my cries for help, I can’t help but feel like these girls were failed by the institutions they turned to for guidance, love, and acceptance. I may be wrong, but that’s what I got from it.

I guess we’re really not so different after all.

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