A Year Off School

June 19th, 2018. The day I finally graduated from high school. There was people crying, people jumping up and down & even people who had already left the premises; they got their diploma & left! I was just worried about getting enough pictures of my family & I. An eternal school vacation was about to begin...

I chose not to go to college right away, not even just the community college that was five minutes from my house. I struggled in high school, especially in my junior & senior years. I had developed Senioritis at the end of my sophomore year and that, was the worst thing that could’ve possibly happened to me. I was so far behind in my math credits at one point that the school kicked me out-but of course my lovely mother forced them to let me back in!!

I have always wanted to be in a field where I help other people. My top career choices would be;

1. Dental Hygienist
2. Realtor
3. Social Worker

So I told myself that I would only take a year off for school & then go back in the fall of 2019. I felt good about it at first, I am currently working two jobs & make very decent money for an 18-year-old. As time passed and Summer became Autumn, I started feeling really out down and all I can describe it as is “BLAH.” I just kept seeing all the posts of my friends moving into their dorm rooms & them meeting new people & getting all the great experiences. That’s really all I’ve ever wanted since Freshman year, & I told myself that I ruined it for myself. That I was in the most terrible mindset to be in Senior year of high school. My “friends” eventually stopped talking to me & obviously they look down on me because I am not in school right now. They treat me like dirt because I’m not on the same level as them right now. Friends are a huge part in my life so for that to happen to me had just crushed me. I started feeling the most alone I have ever felt.

Do you know what I then realized?

I realized that there is no such thing as “ruining it for myself,” that it is okay to want to have time off of school. If you felt that you aren’t being your best self, it means that you have got to trust your gut feeling. Take a break & find out who you are again. Get yourself back on the right track! It is okay to not go to college at all, it is okay to have a child while you’re young, it is okay to get married young, it is okay to move away from your family. Whatever you feel like you need to do, it is okay! If people walk away from you & don’t support you, that is their problem & they’re not very good friends/family.

Just do you!