A Nerve Like No Other

A thing most disturbing; I have actually been hearing more and more people around me have this attitude about victims of domestic violence, and how they should be able to have it all back together whether they have children or not, in a timely manner. Bounce back. That seems to be the ultimate message we as a society, are sending to men and women alike. The very men and women who have been through some of the worst and downright unimaginable toxicity already! It needs to stop.

I happen to be one of those moms who had no choice but to leave my abuser, to preserve my life as well as the lives of my children. It is not an easy feit by any means. Emotionally or physically, it makes no difference, you come out of this wringer beat up both ways. When you are in this predicament with children it is completely terrifying to a totally different level of the soul. Many victims who are forced to make a get out plan have not just one child but multiple. Where does that leave us who are stuck here? Well, clearly, we step out of this one area, and we jump into a realm of single parenting with no support system and having to work full time to keep barely floating the majority of the month. That cycle then begins again EVERY month.

Now, are children a bad thing? Absolutely not! Children are one of the most beautiful rewards we get in this life regardless of how much harder the struggle and hustle may be to provide everything for them...what I am saying however, is that I have been watching and seeing a pattern with abusers and I happen to notice a few things specifically that make me wonder if all of the struggle is the design on purpose. A design in order to make sure they keep their supply, and if they happen to lose it...well, it helps ensure that they may not be in loss of it for very long.

See, men and women will find themselves in these relationships with people who push having children together really fast into the relationship. Those partners who are so consistant in the planning and are such good talkers, immaculate skills when it comes to future faking! We then start that family with the best and truest of intentions and with all of these beautiful and new but all the same, planted, ideas and dreams. Unknowingly aiding this person, the entire relationship in setting us up for the cruel final discard. This may be a sick game but never the less is a very real one happening with more people around the world then you probably know about. The more kids you have as a young person, before you are set up to afford these lives, makes it difficult to leave at a whim or in the event of abusive behaviors. The tactic meets its purpose each and every time a victim goes back. Due to everything being much harder by yourself with kids, eventually some victims feel powerless or like they are actually hurting the kids worse than if they would just go back and accept the terms of these partners.

Too many years, I sat right there myself. In the very spot women and men find themselves just hitting now. So many nights I can actually remember crying and cursing and even on certain occasions, yelling at god for the way things had taken a turn in my life. Not one thing feeling fair or right. Not one person to help me or defend me with truth. It was pretty dark for quite a time I have to admit. A cycle of one betrayal after another is what life had turned into and it appeared to have no ending. I know well the pain and the utter strength and determination that you have to have in order to not only carry that number of knives in the back; but to pull them back out of you as well. Society's attitudes when met with situations the main population doesn't have to go through, has actually had victims afraid to pull out those knives. Over and again being told they shouldn't or they can't because then too much blood may get everywhere and it's too messy therefore unacceptable.

I am a woman who has decided that that is simply not tolerable. Not moral. Not right. It seems fit to be time for me to out some real stories and hopefully there will be those individuals who catch the lesson, understand the assignments and then move with authority and kindness and the devotion of love.