Meditations on the ocean

Morning sun seems a bit sleepy. The summer tint of the skies overhead make you feel a bit lazy. Hazy in the brain.

You stretch. Head to the nearby grocery store. Pack turkey. Water. Grab coffee from the in-house coffee shop. You tell the barista your order. You apologize because it's a bit complicated, but that's okay.

The car ride to the beach is two hours. You pop on a podcast and let your mind wonder.

You come across the exit to the beach. Drive in, early enough to snag a parking spot without it being too complicated.

It's still early - 10:30 AM. You can smell the sea. The east coast beaches are cleaner, calmer. The sea on this side of the country actually smells like salty waters. The west coast smells like pollution - unless you go the areas that have money.

You walk on the beach. The waters are calm. You see three different shades of blue in the ocean. You're barefoot, but the sand warms your feet rather than burns them.

You start to run. You start slowly at first, a bit self conscious. The beginnings of runs are always awkward for you. People on the beach tend to stare at anything passing by. That's what people do. Stare and pause a moment as other people pass by.

But you slowly strip away those self conscious thoughts. With each step, the eyes of other people become a second thought until you're just present. Eyes staring back at eyes.

You run because you have a lot on your mind. In fact, you're upset. At your job. You feel as if you've made a mistake.

You keep running. Your legs burn. Your arms burn. The water starts calling your name.

You pause, and start getting closer to the water. The clear water covers your toes. The light blue splashes against your thighs.

It's a bit cold, but you quickly get used to the temperature.

Your feet leaves the ground when you hit the dark blue.

There's something about the water - your body starts to move with the waves. You don't try to swim, your legs and arms just know what to do.

Almost like a baby, being birthed. You remember in the back of your mind something about babies naturally knowing how to swim. You don't know if that's correct. You don't care. You let the thought float away.

Other thoughts come and go. You're in the ocean, and it's a battle. You're in deep waters. You kick and push. You're angry about a few things - how people demand your time, your attention. How people take advantage of the work you do. The little amount of pay you make.

The thoughts start flooding you. You dip your head and let the water take you back to shore. You ride the next major wave that comes through. You overestimated it's power and it spits you back on the sand with a sharp splash.

You wipe the sand off your ass. But then quickly another wave smacks you and practically knocks you off your feet.

Then you crack a smile. The ocean is merciless. It comes after you, wave after wave. It doesn't wait for you to catch your feet. And it treats everyone the same. No matter who you are - poor, rich, gay, straight. You are nothing compared to the ocean. But for you, the ocean is everything.

That thought brings you peace. You walk towards the deep blue part. As your physical body is being washed over, so is your spiritual being. You feel renewed. You've been battling a few things in your mind, but when you're this close to a force of nature so pure, so demanding, you're no longer deluded. To social media, to other people's opinions.

You start to float. You look back at the beach and see more people trickle in. You wonder if they have the same revelations as you when they step into the ocean.