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"What Fulfills Me"

My Story Of How Words Fuel My Soul

By ADRIENNE HOLLANDPublished 3 years ago 4 min read
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My Writing Process (Page 1 or 64)

“What Fulfills Me”

By Adrienne Holland

Ever since I was a child, writing has been my escape; whether it be songwriting, poetry or short stories, they have all given me comfort in my darkness. I graduated from college in 2013 with a Bachelor’s of Science in Forensic Psychology and a minor in Criminal Justice, but I will never forget my figurative writing professor trying to convince me to change my major. I distinctively remember being told by multiple different instructors how ‘well’ I write. Those words always seemed to go in one ear and out of the other because I never felt that I was good enough, in anything that I did. Although I have sought solace through writing ever since I was old enough to hold a pen, I never felt like my words could impact other people.

I have played piano since I was 7 years old and the guitar since I was 10. Music has always been my number one outlet, but for me, writing has always coexisted with creating music. Being able to write what you feel and express yourself in a creative way has always felt so liberating and freeing. I started writing songs when I became a teenager, when I started going through the woes of growing up. I met my best friend in 2011 and we started to bond heavily over songwriting. We ‘saved each other’s lives’ when we wrote our first song together. We were both going through very similar struggles at the time when we first got to know each other and writing really just bonded us together for life. I couldn’t help but think that songwriting wasn’t the only form of writing I wanted to experiment with. It wasn’t until that moment that I began to explore the art of true crime.

I have always been interested in true crime novels, shows and films. I actually use to want to be a criminal profiler for the FBI because I was always so fascinated with the minds of criminals. I mean honestly, who doesn’t love to cuddle up on the couch and watch crime docs all day? It’s a very morose yet satisfying interest to have, if I must say so myself. Watching these shows and documentaries is one thing, but what about writing my own story?

Currently, I am a records manager and analyst in the prison system in my state. I work heavily with judges, clerks and law enforcement agencies to audit and process inmates’ sentences and correct criminal histories. I also oversee releases and the intake of new offenders. I get a first-hand look at the crimes that happen outside of the prison and inside. Trafficking contraband is heavily present in the prison system and it happens between inmates and officers. We see hundreds of cases a year of trafficking contraband in and out of the prison and it never ceases to amaze me how it is done. There have been several high profile cases across the country that have taken place and it has always interested me how these trafficking rings operate. With that being said, I decided to write a crime novel loosely based on the criminal enterprise of trafficking.

I am currently writing a book entitled “Contraband.” It is about a correctional officer that gets wrapped up in the world of trafficking illegal items in and out of the prison and how his world gets turned upside down by getting involved in a trafficking ring. I have spent countless hours researching this topic and the various cases, interviewing officers and getting creative to come up with a storyline that I think would be interesting for people to want to read. The goal is to finish the book and have it published. If the novel does well, I would love to pitch my idea it to a network to create a television show or documentary about it. I truly think this topic is not discussed enough and there needs to be more light shed on this issue and how it has ruined so many people’s lives. If I win, I will use the money towards my publishing fees and promotion to get my book out there for everyone to read. Not only do I desire to get this story out to the public, I also want to educate people on this topic.

As I stated previously, I have never felt as confident in my writing as my peers have. Now, I have found the strength and the drive to want to take this chance to make a difference with this topic and to shed light on a very taboo thing that happens all over the country. How endangering it is not only to prisoners and officers but also to people living on the outside in the real world. But ultimately, I want to prove my younger self wrong. That I can do this if I just put my mind to it and believe in myself. At the end of the day, proving to yourself that you can do something is the most important thing above all else.

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About the Creator

ADRIENNE HOLLAND

Songwriter. Poet. Realist.

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