Unseen Protector

“I always felt inspired by the way her golden curls cascaded across her cheekbones and down to her chin. When I first laid eyes on her, I knew that she alone was the reason my heart beats. Samantha. My Samantha. Everything about her seemed magical and surreal. The way she laughed made me stop to catch my breath. Her smile lured me in and made time appear to slow to a crawl. Even the way her wrist flicked when she was telling a story was graceful and timeless. She was perfect, to me.

That’s why I never introduced myself. If I knew more about her, the way she was in my head would surely be ruined. People are never how they appear. To me, she was the one good thing in the world, and I didn’t want a venomous personality to poison my image of her. She was perfect just how she was.

Our romance started simply. I saw her sitting in a coffee shop. Though she was alone, her phone lay face down on the table while she gazed out the window, watching the people passing by. I loved that about her, she knew how to be in the moment. Also, we had something in common. We both liked to watch.

The room seemed to be illuminated by her presence. I was instantly enamored with my mystery woman. I could feel it in my bones, like I’d known her all my life. I knew I had to protect her, I’d do anything to protect her. She seemed so fragile, how had she made it this long without me? She was my life now.

I followed her home to her townhouse apartment over on Chestnut. It was easy. The coffee shop was close enough to walk, and of course she took advantage of the beautiful day. That was my Samantha. Always in the moment, and considerate of the environment. I stayed outside until I saw her bedroom light turn off around 9p.m. She wasn’t a partier like other women her age, she knew that getting a good night’s sleep is what was best for her. I loved that about her, too. She was wise beyond her years.

I returned to the coffee shop the next day, at the same time, hoping to see her again. I did not. Nor did I the following day, or the day after. I started thinking did something happen to my Samantha, so soon after my watchful eye was taken off of her? This made me nervous, the thought wouldn’t leave my brain. I couldn’t help thinking something horrible had happened to her. I couldn’t sleep that night, so the next, I skipped the coffee shop and posted up right outside her townhouse. I never saw her enter or leave and her light never turned on when it got dark. I started imagining the funeral service, and what her mother might look like, sobbing over the news of her perfect daughter meeting an untimely death. I breathed a sigh of relief at 2a.m when she finally did return home. I actually laughed out loud I was so relieved. My Samantha was safe. The relief soon turned to anger. How could she be so irresponsible? I thought she was smarter than that. Didn’t she know bad things happened to beautiful women at this time of night? I collected myself and tried to remember, she was still young. She had every right to go out and live her life…within reason of course.

The fear I felt over her possible disappearance stuck with me. If anything would have happened to her, I know it would have been my fault. I chastised myself well and good over that. Then I vowed, I’d never let her down like that again. I needed to make protecting her a full-time job, I owed her that much. That’s when I quit my current job. I told my boss everything that I’d held back over the last eight years. God, it felt good. That woman was a real piece of nasty. The exact opposite of Samantha. When my mother passed last year, she left me a sizeable enough inheritance, enough to live off for a few years. It wasn’t like I really needed to work; I was just going through the motions to not go insane. But then I found my purpose in her. I felt no qualms with my decision. It just, made sense. I feel like my mother would be proud of how I spent her money. She was always telling me to trust my gut and do what I felt was right, no matter what anyone said. This was right. Dedicating my life to Samantha and protecting her…how could that be wrong?

But then…it did go wrong, didn’t it? I know it’s my fault. I do know that. It just doesn’t seem real. I never thought I could hurt her, you’ve got to believe me when I say that. Everything I did from the moment I first saw my Samantha, was for HER. I lived and breathed dedication. I never thought I could mess up my sole purpose on this Earth so badly. Six months passed, without a glitch. Then…I got too close…She saw me. We were face to face. Oh, my heart stopped completely being so near to her. I almost blurted out ‘I love you,’ right then and there. But there wasn’t a glimmer of recognition in her eyes…that hurt in a way I didn’t expect. That meant that I had done my job, well, right? As her unseen protector. So why did it rip my heart right out of my chest? And then do you know what she said to me? She said, ‘Excuse me.’ It was polite, but it wasn’t friendly. There was no warmth in her tone, the way I yearned for there to be. Then she slid right passed me…or tried to, I guess. I was so consumed with sorrow and rage. I don’t know where it came from. Before I even knew what was happening, my arm reached out and grabbed a handful of those beautiful curls. For a brief moment my heart soared as I registered that I had made physical contact with my Samantha. Her hair was so silky, soft, just as I imagined it to feel. A thought flickered through my mind, that maybe she really was every bit of perfect that I had imagined her to be. Maybe I never needed to hang back. Maybe I could have just asked to buy her a cup of coffee, all along. But it was too late. My arm was already in motion. I felt myself slam her head onto the sidewalk. I watched her perfect, beautiful blood pool around her. I knew what I had done, but it was like a dream. A nightmare really.”

Detective Cordon tried to hide the disgust on his face, listening to the man in front of him recant the events that lead to this night. He was a professional, after all.

“Her name was Margot, Tom. But that’s when you called us?”

Tom wrinkled his nose,

“That doesn’t really suite her. She’ll always be my Samantha, to me. But yes, that’s when I called you.”

“Okay. Deputy Halls will take you to holding for now, but I think it’s pretty clear where we’ll go from there. After all, you did just deliver a full confession.”

“I know. And it’s what I deserve for failing to protect her.”

Detective Cordon shook his head,

“Is that why we found yellow marigolds stuffed in her mouth, Tom? You felt remorseful?”

“You can’t imagine how I feel, right now, Detective. But no. That’s not why I left them. I happened to see them growing in a nearby yard and thought that they complemented my Samantha’s beautiful curls so nicely, I couldn’t help myself. I think she would have appreciated the gesture.”

Detective Cordon stood up and left the room. He stood outside the door a moment while his body let out a shudder. He’d seen and heard a lot of things over the years, but he knew this was the case that would haunt his memories for as long as he lived.