The Most Ridiculous Serial Killer Nicknames

The Zodiac, Jack the Ripper, The Night Stalker, The Grim Sleeper, The Milwaukee Cannibal, Doctor Death — all names of serial murderers that create a sense of fear and panic for those who hear them. The following, however, are less than terrifying, which is completely fine. We should just start giving them names like Jimmy, the super-loser who blames school-yard bullies for his lack of erection and kills people.

The Singing Strangler

Claiming the lives of three women in Melbourne, Australia, 24-year-old Edward Leonski was an American soldier stationed there during World War II. He confessed to strangling the women because he was “trying to get their voices.” His obsession with female voices, especially those who sang, led him to be called “The Singing Strangler.”

The Doodler

In the 1970s, the unsolved murders of five gay men in San Francisco were all tied to the suspect labeled “The Doodler”. The men’s bodies were all found in the Ocean Beach area and had similar stab wounds. Two other people were assaulted in the area and police believed they were related to the murders. The suspect was given the moniker because one of the victims described him as sketching caricatures prior to the attack. The case is still unsolved. Of all the details in this case, The Doodler was the best you could come up with? Ok, carry on.

The Weepy-Voiced Killer

Paul Michael Stephani called the police after each of his murders to report his crimes. It wasn’t what he said on the phone to authorities, but his high-pitched whiney voice that prompted the media to give him such a weiner of a nickname. He confessed to three murders and two attempted murders after being diagnosed with terminal cancer. You can listen to the weepiness here.

The Happy Face Killer

One guy that strangely isn’t heard a lot about is Keith Hunter Jesperson. While claiming to have killed as many as 185 people, only eight of them were confirmed. The long-haul truck driver confessed to his crimes via letters sent to newspapers and messages left in rest stop bathrooms. He provided facts that only the killer would know to prove that he was indeed the murderer. He was dubbed “The Happy Face Killer” due to signing each note with a happy face.

The Giggler

I just don’t see addressing a monster who killed people by a comical nickname like “The Giggler”, but here we are. Kenneth Harrison actually identified himself by the name when he called 9–1–1 to report one of his murders and laughed while sharing the details with the operator. He threw several of his victims, including a six-year-old little girl over a bridge to their deaths. He was eventually caught and given four life sentences. He committed suicide by overdose in 1989.

Buttermilk Bluebeard

Alfred Leonard Cline allegedly murdered at least nine people, eight of those being his wives. He would marry a woman of high status, plan a lavish honeymoon, and convince them to sign over their riches to him. He would then have them drink a glass of buttermilk laced with sedatives. After calling for an in-house physician, claiming that the woman was “having another heart attack.” Hours later, he would dose them again with a fatal dose. The death certificates would always state “heart failure” as the cause. Cline was never convicted for the murders but was sentenced to 126 years in prison for forgery. My question is who voluntarily drinks buttermilk? Blah…

The Fast-Food Killer

Paul Dennis Reid gained the less than scary name after murdering seven employees of various fast-food establishments between February and April 1997. He was living near Nashville, TN in the hopes of becoming a country music singer. Instead, he robbed and killed employees of a Captain D’s, McDonald’s, and Baskin Robbins. Maybe instead of killing all of those people, ole Paul should have just written a song about it.

The Boozing Barber

After committing the “alcohol murders” in Vancouver, Canada, Gilbert Paul Jordan, a former barber murdered between eight and ten women. He would locate the women in bars, invite them to a hotel for sex and more drinking. When they passed out, he would continue to pour alcohol down their throats. He gives booze a bad name.

The Ken and Barbie Killers

Paul Bernardo and Karla Homolka earned the nickname “The Ken and Barbie Killers” because of their attractive appearances. However, these were two of the most disgusting people ever on the inside. Not only did they sexually assault and murder Karla’s 15-year-old little sister, Tammy, but they were both active in the murder and filming of rape and torture of two other young women. Ken and Barbie makes them sound beautiful, fun, and innocent, which was the furthest from the truth. Maybe should have named them Gargamel and Yzma .

PeeWee

When hearing the name “PeeWee”, you generally think of a small, kind, good-natured type of person. Donald Henry Gaskins however stabbed, shot, drowned, and poisoned 15 people. The 5'4, 130 lb South Carolina man claimed to have killed up to 110 people. He was executed by the electric chair in September 1991. Wonder if he needed a step-stool to get into it?

The Taco Bell Strangler

Henry Louis Wallace, also from South Carolina, was actually a pretty smart guy growing up. He was on the student council and a cheerleader in high school, attended several colleges, and enlisted in the Navy. His cocaine addiction is what pushed him to start committing burglaries, which progressed to murder. He was convicted of the murders of ten women and was given the nickname due to his position as the manager of a Taco Bell when most of the murders occurred. Thanks for ruining my guilty pleasure dude. Taco Bell, not murdering people.

The Scorecard Killer

The Scorecard Killer, otherwise known as Randy Kraft, raped and murdered up to 67 young men and boys. When law enforcement officers searched his home after his arrest, they located a “scorecard” or a coded list containing cryptic references to each of his victims. He had also been called the “Freeway Killer” for his penchant to dump his victims beside major highways. I guess the media decided that not only did two other killers share that name, but that he was too big of shit-stain to be given a name that sounded even slightly noteworthy.

With so many serial killers committing acts of violence only to become famous, I think that from now on, not only should they not be given a “cool” nickname, but don’t even mention their names in the press at all. Just give them a number. For example, “Douchebag #47596 was arrested today and will be sentenced to life in prison. The end.

***Story previously published on Medium.com by the author***