The Life of An Abuse Survivor

It all started when I was young. My parents split when I was 18 months old. My father was a drunk and an asshole to boot. My first experience with abuse was watching him fracture my mom's skull and jaw because she wanted to leave him.

He was into drugs and she found out and she didn't want my sister and I around that. SO what does he do? He beats her for trying to leave. Did that stop her? Nope. She packed my sister and I up and off she went.

Everything seemed great until I was 5 years old. My father showed up to my mom's house drunk, trying to fight my new step father because he was playing the role of daddy to my sister and I. My step dad knocked him out and got arrested. I remember crying and thinking I was losing my father and my dad. I felt like it was my fault. Little did I know at that time that it wasn't and I wouldn't see my father again until I was 8 years old.

He got out of jail and moved out of state. Instead of fighting for my sister and I he started a new family with a woman that was only 10 years older then me. New step mom, she gave all new meaning to evil step mother. She hated me and I hated her.

My sister and I went to live with my father when I was 8 years old. He and his new wife decided it was the cool thing to keep a 7 and 8 year old out at the bar with them until 10:30 at night.

When we got home they decided it was time to feed us, because it was so late and I had school the next day I was tired. I started falling asleep at the table only to be woken up by this crazy, evil bitch screeching with the most annoying voice ever heard "Joeeeeee you're going to let her sleep at MY table??" and boom I got stabbed in the arm with a steak knife...at 8 years old!

I waited for them to go to sleep that night and I called my mom. It was 2am and I begged her to come get me. I told her what happened and within 4 hours her, my step dad, the Vermont State Police and NY State police were all at the door. Joe was pissed!

He screamed at me "What did you do?" I cried I wanted to go home to my mom andmy dad.

"Mr. Franolich, This is the Vermont State Police. We are asking that you send Necia and Nadine outside with their belongings."

He opened the door and screamed "They are MY daughters and they are NOT going anywhere."

He told my sister and I to go into our room. I got my sister into the door and shut and locked the door. I didn't know what was going to happen. I heard him tell the police they weren't taking us without a fight. I was scared.

Being the big sister, I needed to protect my little sister.

"Nadine, do you remember in school how they said if there is a fire and the door is blocked to go to the nearest window and open it and climb out?" She said "Yes." I said "We have to pretend there is a fire at the door. Come on!"

We went to my bedroom window, we opened it and climbed out it. I ran to my mom screaming "mommy!" My step dad ran over and scooped me and my sister up. The police then kicked the door in and that was the end.

I don't know what happened with him nor did I care. I was going home. Who stabs their own kid in the arm for falling asleep at the dinner table???

I didn't see that man again until I was 13 years old. See I was molested by my father's brother and I started having nightmares and acting out really bad. My mom couldn't handle my attitude and me running away from home all the time.

My step dad started to get abusive as well, physically, mentally and emotionally. He always made it a point, after my brother was born, to remind my sister and I that we weren't his and he didn't care about us.

My mom gave my father a shot and sent my sister and I to live with him. I warned her that it was going to be bad because I didn't like his wife. She wasn't my mother and I wasn't going to listen to her.

Living with them lasted 2 months. Just 60 days. In those 60 days I became a built in baby sitter for now 3 younger sisters and another brother.

I was going to school at the same time and it was my job to get Nadine and Britny ready for school and Jolyne and Dylan ready for day care. I was only 13!!!

Nadine and I got into a fight one morning and I told her "Bite me bitch!" Joe came out of the room hung over, grabbed my arm and bit me so hard he broke skin. I waited for him to walk away and I grabbed Nadine and smacked her face on the counter. She got a black eye.

She and I went to school and she told everyone what Joe did to me and what I did to her. DCF stepped in and pulled me from the home for the weekend.

Monday came and Joe told them it was fine and I could come home. When I got home Rachel (The evil step mother) started running her mouth. She told me that because Nadine and I weren't her's we would be sleeping in the basement. I was ok with that. It was away from her and the siblings I didn't want.

This would be the last time I ever saw my cousin alive.

Ricky came over and we were hanging out in the basement listening to AC DC Back in Black, Hells Bells to be exact. He decided that we should sneak out and go to the ball field. We did just that. It so happens that Rachel was driving by and saw me. She ran right home and got Joe. They both came to the ball field with my uncle who picked my cousin up.

They belittled me the whole way home. I was a whore and this and that.

When I walked into the house Rachel said something along the lines of me being a whore and going to be a teenage mom. I yelled at her to shut up because she was only 10 years older then me and already had 3 kids. She pushed me and I fell down the basement steps. I ended up with a broken ankle and Joe and Rachel wouldn't take me to the hospital.

That following day my sister went to school and told them what happened and where I was. The police, EMT and DCF came to the house. They arrested Rachel and took me to the hospital. They placed me in another foster home for the weekend until my mother could come and get me.

I ended up back in NY that next week. My mom took my father to court for child support and while they were at court the judge asked me what happened. I told the truth.

He issued a full stay away between Rachel and I. Outside the court Joe told me he loved me and if I ever needed him to call him. He gave me a hug and Rachel saw this and pushed me down the steps again. She got arrested again and went to jail for a long time.

I didn't see or speak to Joe for years after that.

My step dad had become more and more abusive. He blamed me for my step mother hating me and my father not wanting me. It got to the point that I accepted that he wasn't my father.

The physical abuse got to be so bad that I started running away and doing drugs to mask the pain.

I found "love" through a teenage boy named Matt. Matt and his friends made me feel wanted. They convinced me to help them commit some crimes. I did. I took the fall and was facing time as an adult for them.

By this point I was already diagnosed with Bipolar 2, Manic Depressive Disorder, Explosive Anger and an eating disorder.

The state decided to place me in what we call Baby County instead of a psych hospital to get the help I needed. My mom told them I needed my meds to keep me calm and that I had an issue with males because of the trauma I had been through. They didn't listen.

One day I was in my room and this person came in and started harassing me. We fought and I caught another charge. I was 15 years old, 90 pounds and tiny but I had the strength of an army when I was mad.

I started going to court for my charges and I stopped in the hall way to talk to my mom and my lawyer. I needed them to know I was being harassed and wasn't being given my medication. The court officer grabbed a hold of me from behind. I remember hearing my mom yell "Don't! Don't touch her! She's going to flip out!" and that I did. I ended up breaking his nose and giving him a black eye.

They dropped all the other charges and had me plead out to assault on a LEO. I was sentenced to 4 years in the state juvenile system.

I don't know how, but my mom and my lawyer got the court to keep me close to home. I was in a kid prison 15 minutes from my mom's house.

I thought that the abuse would be over because I wasn't home anymore but where I went it just got worse.

Girls were being raped by the staff, being beat up by the staff and each other, hurt so bad that the staff were making it look like girls were trying to commit suicide.

I was now 16 years old being restrained as they put it by 2 or 3 200+ lbs guys at least once a day because I wasn't moving fast enough, or I wasn't eating fast enough, or I didn't do what they said when they said it.

They ended up breaking my shoulder in there. Did they get into trouble? Nope! Not for years to come after I was finally released.

I was 18 years old when I got out. I met my son's father 2 days after I got released. We hit it off right away. He was 24, he lived at home with his parents and his mom was his boss. I should have seen the red flags but I didn't know back then what I know now.

He gave me the most beautiful little boy in the whole world. But we fought. A lot. We were so different. I wanted to go to college and make something of myself. He wanted me to have an abortion and live with him and his parents forever.

I had my son and I left. Aaron never put his hands on me but he was mean with his words. He lied to the court and told them I was unfit to be a mom. I showed them the emails from him telling me to have an abortion. Guess who got to keep her baby?? That's right! I did!

After that I went back to my parents house. Shit wasn't going to change there so I took my son and I got my own place.

2 years after Ethan I was raped. I couldn't bring myself to abort the baby. After-all it wasn't his/her fault that it happened and they deserved a chance at life like the rest of us.

I had a little girl in July of 2006. I really tried to be a good mom. I was coping with being a single mom to now 2 babies, I was trying to work and cope with being raped, I still hadn't told anyone. My daughter's father told me it was my fault because I invited him and some of our mutual friends back to my place after a night of drinking.

One day I was so tired, my son was sick, I was sick, my daughter wouldn't stop crying. I tried everything from feeding her to cuddling with her and nothing worked. I was losing it. I blacked out and I put my hand over her mouth. Her cries were muffled and I snapped out of it. I grabbed her and cried and cried and apologized. I called my brother who was only 15 or 16 and his girlfriend. I begged them to come get Kira. They did. I was finally able to sleep. 2 days went by and I went to get Kira. I looked at her and I broke down crying. She is her father's twin. I saw everything he did to me like it was happening again! I was screaming and crying and yelling "Stop! Don't touch me" I hit my brother and I didn't mean to.

When Amber got me to calm down I spilled it all. The whole truth. She called Kira's grandmother and told her to come get her. We went to court a week later and I told the truth. Her father got to go to the state hospital because he's crazy. Kira went to live with her grandmother and I was starting the healing process.

Bobby got out 6 months later. He found me at my friends house. How he did it I still don't know to this day. He lied to me. He said something was wrong with Kira and we needed to get to the hospital right now. Of course I went with him, thinking something was really wrong with my daughter. Who would lie on their child like that?

Instead of going to the hospital he brought me to this dirt road. When I asked him what he was doing...where was Kira...he hit me. He hit me so hard my head bounced off the door glass and I blacked out. I came to with his hands around my throat. I screamed and kicked him as hard as I could.

I jumped in the back seat of his SUV, he had the child locks on. I couldn't get out. I was trapped. The next thing I knew he was on top of me. I was out again. When I came to I was in a field, shorts down, sore, bloody and crying. I got up and pulled my shorts up. I ran to the nearest house and called the police.

They didn't believe me because I went with him willingly and I had a baby by him. He got away with it.

I got home that night and I asked my mom to take my son. I tried to kill myself. If I didn't go with Bobby it wouldn't have happened. If I never invited him and our friends to my house I wouldn't have ever been in that situation. It was my fault. I slit my wrists. That didn't work. It just made a mess. I drank liquor and took some pain meds. That didn't work. It just made me throw up. I tried to hang myself.

I remember slowly blacking out. ALl of a sudden I hear bang bang bang. Boom. My door got kicked in. My brother who was only 16 years old saved my life.

I went to the psych hospital and in the process my son's father got temp custody of him. I got myself back to being me. It took a long long time for me to accept that being raped was NOT my fault! But no matter how much "help" I was getting I was going down hill and fast.

I got mixed up with the wrong crowd and I started selling drugs. I tested my own supply and I was hooked.

I agreed with the court that I could get my son back once I got myself clean and stable. It took me a little over a year and I am proud to say I have been clean for 13 years!!!

In 2007 I started dating my very first boyfriend again. I had to have emergency surgery to have my gallbladder removed.

The day after surgery I got a call from a friend that the police were investigating a rape in my apartment. I called Mike. He spilled the beans. He cheated on me and because he wouldn't give the girl money she claimed rape. I checked myself out of the hospital AMA and went home. I burst through the door and I flipped out. I smashed the tv and was calling Mike a cheater and telling him I hated him. Instead of being at the hospital with me he was busy cheating! He hit me so hard he ripped my stomach back open. My neighbor called the police and I gor rushed back to the hospital.

A week later my mom and my brother came with me to get my stuff. Mike tried to fight me but my brother pulled a shot gun on him. He did enough damage to me and I just wanted to leave.

I thought it was over. I thought I had been through enough abuse that it was my time to shine.

I ended up in jail later that year over someone who was supposed to be my best friend. We were friends since we were 8 years old. I thought jail was a joke...that is until I got beat up by the guards for not locking in.

I got out of jail in 2008 and started doing great. I got my son back, had a job, an apartment and everything was going great.

In 2010 I met him. I didn't know he would be the start to a new downfall. We got a huge house and moved my mom, brother and sister in. I didn't know he was using behind my back and selling drugs. I was blind and clueless. How I didn't see it I didn't know. It took me years to realize what signs I was missing.

In 2011 we went to his moms with my mom. All of a sudden my truck was surrounded by police. They has guns shoved in mine and my mom's faces. I didn't know what was going on. I didn't know he was pushing for one of the biggest dealers in our area. I was working to much to even pay attention.

He went to jail for a year. I knew I had to be done but we lived together. He got out and went to his moms.

2012 my sister in law got really sick. I called him and asked him to come over to support my family. He came over. But I didn't know that while I was at the hospital saying goodbye to my sister he was busy texting another girl telling her he was going to drop me off to our house and he was going to pick her up and bring her to his mom's. I didn't care about that, what I did care about was him pretending to care when he didn't.

2013 he and I were in my car, talking about working things out. We got pulled over and he had drugs in his pocket. My son was with us. He told the police they were mine. My son was 7 years old and had to tell the police the truth. He got arrested again and went ot jail. I was finally done with him in 2014. Or so I thought.

2014 my husband came into my life. He painted me such a beautiful picture of this amazing life. The life I always wanted and dreamed of. We moved to Florida together and started a new life.

In 2015 we got married. 5 months after we got married the abuse started. He started smoking Meth and getting physical with me. I left. I should have stayed gone. My son and I went to my moms. He called me begging me to come home, promising me things would change.

I stayed with my mom for a week. In that week my ex came over and one day he took a picture of me in the shower and sent it to my husband on Facebook.

A week later I went back to Florida. I walked into a trap. My husband beat me so bad he broke my tooth, my eye socket, split my face open and caused me to have to go to the hospital. I lied for him. He kept telling me was sorry and didn't remember hitting me. I forgave him and thought we were moving on from it.

2016 I left again. My husband took the plate off of my car so I couldn't go to work. I got to work anyway but I took the keys to my car with me. If I couldn't use my car then neither could he! The next morning I got home and he asked me to take him to his moms so I did. I left him there. I went home and packed all of my stuff and drove with my son and my dog to NC on no sleep. My husband followed 2 days later.

We tried to work things out. Things seemed to be ok, probably because my mom and my new step dad were there.

We moved to CT to be closer to his dad. He started doing harder drugs and got involved in the gang crap.

I took my son and fled back to Florida. He followed.

2017 I can't really remember. Mostly because he split my head open in 3 spots and I spent months in the hospital. My son's father came and got him while I was in the hospital.

2018, he broke my ribs 3 times, he tried to kill me, he beat me so bad and wouldn't let me go to the hospital. I laid in my room for days and prayed that God would let me die. After a week I found the courage to get up and get out. I left. I ran. I hid. I got a new apartment, a job at Walmart and was doing great. He found me.

I lost my job at Walmart because of him. In 2019 I had him arrested. He beat the charges. He got the court to use my previous stay in the psych ward when I was in my 20's against me.

He tried to kill me again.

2020 I finally did it! I got away! I got away for good! I am alive! I got help and they had him arrested again for breaking my ribs again. The charges stuck. Hes in prison.

I am living on my own, I am in college. I am drug free and living life day by day. I have my bad days where I don't want to get up but I am a live! I am no longer a victim. I am a survivor!!!!