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The Heart Don't Talk

little black book

By Taurus JanePublished 3 years ago 10 min read
1

There was five of them in total. They didn't know one another. But someone knew all of them. And that someone wanted them gone. I had already completed my mission with 4. I made it quick for them. I always try to make it quick. No pain. Instant.

After the fourth mission, I stopped by my hotel room. Once inside, I said a quick prayer, and pulled my little black book from my bag. I opened it up to the first page, and crossed off the fourth person's name. It's always the AFTER when I get that feeling. That dark feeling of misery and despair, that feeling no one talks about in this line of work. But I know it's universal.

I keep telling myself I'm going to get out. But it doesn't work like that. The Company has to “let you go.” Or you die. Whichever one is first. I hate it, but it pays the bills. I could try to run, but the Company has too many resources. I wouldn't make it far.

I often try to swallow my true feelings. But I can't.

It's these rooms. It's like I'm staying in the same hotel room all the time. Doesn't matter how nice it is. I'm always in the same room, in the same city, hunting the same person. That's just how it feels.

I often wonder will I ever belong anywhere? Will I have friends? A husband? Kids? A house? I'm 22 and I feel much older.

If Kilo was here, she'd tell me to suck it up. She made me the woman I am today. She trained me for the job I now do. The job that she did so much better than me. Kilo would never be laying here feeling bad about the missions she went on. She'd call it fate. Their fate.

Kilo found me near a dumpster sleep when I was 2 years old. She thought I was dead. My birth mom had left me there wrapped in blankets. Kilo raised me, although she had little time to play “mommy.”

I had my first mission when I was 18. She was proud I did it well. Whenever I'd leave the house, she'd say “knock 'em dead C.” And I always did. Literally.

Kilo is the one that gave me the name Ciara. I'm not sure what I was called before then.

Kilo's gone now. Two years after I joined the Company, she disappeared.

I heard my phone ringing. I knew it was Z. He's one of the head guys in charge at the Company, and the only one that calls this phone.

“Z,” I answered.

“Four down Ciara. You're taking your time.” he sounded impatient.

“I'm on it Z. Just been having a lot on my mind,” I advised.

He laughed.

“This should be the only thing on your mind!,” he said. “This is what you get paid to do. No time to be lazy.”

I hung up the phone. Lazy? Who did he think he was talking to. I showered, and laid down to get some sleep.

The next morning, I was up early. I knew #5's schedule. He would be at work now, school later.

He worked at a gas station. I wouldn't do him there, too risky. I would stop by to check the scene.

As I entered the gas station, I could see him.

He was behind the cash register, organizing a few items on the shelf. When he saw me, he seemed to be in a daze, as was I.

But don't worry. I'm not that easy. I grabbed an energy drink from the cooler and headed back to the register.

I couldn't help but notice how handsome he was.

Had a nice build too. His fade and edge up was so fresh, I wondered did he have a barber on standby. One that would get him right at, let's say, 5 am?

What stood out was his hazel eyes. Kilo used to say she hated the handsome targets. Made our job harder. I could agree.

For some reason, I felt this weird feeling in my stomach. Is this the “butterflies” people speak of.

We were so into one another, we didn't notice the guy that walked in.

With a swiftness, he snatched me.

He wrapped his arm around my neck and put his pistol to my head.

He then told the cashier “give me everything, or I'll slump her.”

The cashier held up his hand.

“Wait man, I got you. You don't have to do that. This lady is innocent,” he said. If only he knew.

The robber watched as the cashier opened the register, and took the cash out. He was so into that, that his grip on me relaxed. His hand that held the gun wasn't focused. It was droopy. Amateur.

At the same time, a lady walked through the door, distracting him.

I was quick. I knocked the gun from his hand, then punched him in the throat.

I watched as he stumbled into a rack of chips.

I kept swinging. Next thing he knew, he was knocked cold on the floor.

The lady who had come in, was frozen in shock.

The cashier hopped over the counter to come check on me.

“What's your name?” he asked.

“Ciara,” I told him. No last name. I didn't even have one. I grew up introverted and home schooled.

“Yours?” I asked him.

“D,” he told me.

Of course I knew his name. Dawson, like the creek. I knew where he lived, and what he was in school for. I knew who his friends was. I even knew about Natalie, the ex girlfriend that was trying her hardest to play for the team again.

The lady, no longer frozen in shock, was on her phone with the police. I needed to leave. Fast.

Dawson was trying to talk to me as I headed for the door.

“Ciara,” he said, gently grabbing my elbow.

“Maybe you should stick around, the cops will be here,” he said.

“I don't do cops,” I told him, glancing back at the robber, who was starting to wake up.

“You guys should tie him up. He will be up before the police gets here.” I pointed at his gun.

“And don't let him get to that,” I told him.

I turned and walked out the door. Daylight was starting to break, and a crowd was gathering.

Dawson followed me out, ignoring my warning.

“I just want to see you again,” he said.

Little did he know, I planned on being the last person he'd see. I had a job to do.

None of us was ready for what happened next.

First, frozen lady screamed. I looked toward the door. The robber had his gun pointed at me. When he let off the shot, Dawson jumped in front of me. He was hit.

Another shot.

The robber fell. I saw a motorcycle cop off to the side. How long had he been here? When did he come?

I got in my car and sped off. I could see the cop waving me down. I kept going.

Later that day, Z called.

“What happened?” he asked.

I wasn't in the mood.

“Find out what hospital Dawson James is at,” I told him. Then I hung up.

He texted me the name. I called and they said Dawson was in surgery.

How did this happen? My mark risked his life for me? Like huh?

Two days later, I was waiting for him outside the hospital.

He was surprised to see me.

“What you doing here Ciara?” he asked.

“Just came to check on you,” I told him. “I honestly wish you hadn't done that.”

“It's cool,” he said, leaning up against my car. “Flesh wound.” he laughed. “Food was terrible though.”

I smiled.

“Well, thank you,” I said. “I needed to say that. I don't know how I can ever repay you.”

Of course I did know. I had already decided that I wouldn't be the one to send Dawson up the creek. The person who hired me to get rid of the witnesses from that night will have to send someone else.

I got in my car, starting it up. Dawson leaned into the driver side window.

“So I can't have your number?” he grinned.

“I'm not going to be around long Dawson,” I told him.

“Well take mine,” He said. I could see he wasn't going to leave. So I pulled out a pen and told him to write it down.

When I got back to my hotel to get my things, I had a weird feeling. When I unlocked my door, Z was sitting on my bed.

“Hello Ciara,” he said.

He was always sharp. A Brunello suit, Ferragamo dress shoes, and a Cartier watch. Like do you murder or model?

“Hey Z, what's up?”

I nervously sat on the bed.

“How did your last mission go?” he asked.

I knew he knew.

“I couldn't do it,” I told him. Of course, I could have followed Dawson home that night and did it.

Z rubbed his beard.

“Why?” he asked.

I was quiet for awhile.

“I just couldn't. My heart told me that he's a good guy, I just couldn't bring myself.....”

“The heart don't talk Ciara,” he said as he stared at me intently.

“The heart pumps blood. That's it. It doesn't feel or say shit.”

Again, I was quiet.

“You're done C. That was your test.”

I'd heard about the tests. Is that what happened to Kilo? Did she fail a test?

I knew he was going to kill me.

He read my expression. “I'm not here to kill you. Normally that's the way, but this time it's not. She has the say so,” he glanced toward the bathroom.

Kilo walked out.

My eyes got teary. I looked down, because crying is a big NO.

Z got up, and looked down at me. He then reached out, shaking my hand.

“Thank you for your time with the Company,” he said.

As he got near the door, he turned around. “Also, you will not receive the $100k, as you didn't complete the full mission.”

And he was gone.

Kilo sat next to me.

“Where have you been?” I asked her.

“I'm in the first five now,” she said. “I passed my test.”

I nodded.

“I fought hard and begged for your life after you failed the test,” she said.

“But I couldn't let anything happen to you. In my eyes, you are my daughter. And I honestly never should have showed you this way.”

She gave me a folder.

“Your real name is Diana Shephard. Inside is all your information, including social and birthday. I opened a bank account for you, and deposited $20,000. That's all I was able to give. You will never see me again Diana. But I will keep my eye on you.”

She got up and went to the door. My eyes were still wet.

“Is Dawson going to be okay?” I asked.

“He will be fine. Everybody there was working with our people. All he knew was that his store would get robbed. He had no idea he would get shot.”

She opened the door and looked back. “The heart does talk Diana, and you were right to listen to it.”

And she too was gone.

I had 20k and a new life.

I dug in my bag for my little black book. I had crossed out the names of the 4 other targets. Only Dawson's name was there. He was the test I failed.

I leaned over, grabbed my burner cell, and gave him a call.

fiction
1

About the Creator

Taurus Jane

I write.....

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