The Church is Predatory

I recently wrote about Mica Miller, and the tragedy of her death at the hands of her Pastor husband. He preached at a non-denominational, evangelical church. The teachings were centered on the sexual fulfillment of husbands, and even their ability to stay pure, based on how their wives treated them. This teaching is common in evangelical churches. But what about Catholic, Baptist or Lutheran?

In recent years sexual abuse scandals, and their cover up, have exploded in the news. Priests accused of molesting children, then sent to other parishes when whispers of immorality surface. The Southern Baptists have also been in the news for sexual abuse. Besides the wife as helpmate belief, what else ties the church to sexual abuse? I believe it is ingrained in patriarchy, and scripture. In Genesis, God creates man. Then God makes a woman, to be his helper. Supposedly, Eve is made from Adam's rib. The first pages of the bible set women up to be less than, and made for, men. In reality, people are created and brought to life through a woman. God being a male makes no sense, yet people have believed it for centuries.

Women have had to fight for any position of authority in the church and in culture. Religion is used to set up a system that favors men.

Calling a man a "man of God," sets him on a pedestal. He is entrusted with a title that may be a complete lie. In the case of JP Miller, that was certainly the case.

Children are taught in Sunday school, in youth groups, and church, all the things that deny critical thinking. Believe in a God you can't see, believe that the church knows what is best for you, believe you will go to hell if you don't believe.

I started attending a Lutheran church with my neighbor's family when I was small. By the time I was in middle school, I was going every week to confirmation class. The church made it fun, and cool. An hour of free time with friends, an hour of class, dinner and chapel. I loved it. We also had dances, and retreats at various campgrounds. By high school I was at church all the time. High school is when the grooming began.

On overnight trips, we were now allowed to sleep coed in our sleeping bags. I was molested by a boy one night at a church event. I froze, and told no one for a long time. As many younger girls do, I had a crush on an older guy. The guy was a youth leader I met when I was about 14. At 17 he kissed me. Then he told me not to tell. My music minister was instrumental in trying to get us together. He encouraged me to sleep on the chest of this older man, who was 22 at the time, on one of our overnights. I have been confused for many years over the situation. I now recognize it was grooming, it was inappropriate, and I was a victim.

When I was 16, I was talking to the youth minister about how I didn't have a date for Homecoming. He offered to take me. This man was 28. I thought I was safe, so I let him take me. It didn't seem weird to me, because of how much I went to church. A classmate came up to me and said, "Kathy, what are you doing with that man?" I realized at that moment, it was weird. And awkward. He dropped me off at my door and I just wanted to go inside. He wanted a hug. It was so uncomfortable for me.

My parents trusted that I was safe, because I was at church. The church has the illusion of being safe, but it is not. I consider myself a deconstructed Christian. I believe some of the teachings I learned from the Bible, but mostly I am a spiritual nomad. I embrace nature, witchcraft and astrology. Beliefs that don't usually involve men. Is it any wonder? All religions experience abuse in their ranks. When men think they speak for God, they are capable of great evil. They are wolves in sheep's clothing